Talking Roy and Friends/Transcript

Act I
(Roy speaks to the audience.)

Roy: So here’s what happened: Tom made a successful invention... finally. But everything went wrong. Now everyone thinks it’s his fault, and every friend Tom used to have is, uh.... on my side. Oh, poor Tom. Hey, on with the show. (laughs)

(Theme song plays. Tom is scribbled-out and Roy's face is superimposed on Tom's.)

(Hank is in a forest scene.)

Hank: I used to think sunglasses were about style and sun protection, but now, I know they’re about letting me see a virtual world. Ooh, I can even feel the forest mud in between my toes.

(Hank is seen back in the garage. The forest scene was a simulation created by Hank's glasses.)

(Hank accidentally steps into a bucket and struggles to remove it.)

Roy: Great job, Ben. It looks like our Funglasses are gonna be a real hit!

Ben: They were your brilliant idea, Roy. I just made them a reality- a virtual reality!

Roy: Good one. (fist-bumps Ben)

Ginger: Your partnership is already better than the old one with... what’s-his-name.

(There is an defaced picture of Tom and Ben in the garbage. Three flies fly around the area.)

Hank: Yeah, TV thinks so, too. Look! (switches channels with remote)

(A news reporter appears on the television.)

Reporter: The Helping Hand horror is behind us. Thanks to Roy and his new tech company, Roy and Ben Enterprises.

Roy (on TV): Thanks, Craig, but I’d rather call it "Ben and Roy Enterprises." Put Ben first.

(Ben watches Roy on the television admiringly.)

Craig: It turns out he’s humble as well!

(Roy winks at the viewer. The news broadcast ends.)

Roy: People like us, yeah, but I say, let’s make 'em love us by throwing a big party for the Funglasses launch!

Ben, Ginger, Hank: Yeah!

(Ben, Ginger and Hank put on hula outfits and dance on the kitchen counter.)

Ginger: (shakes maracas) I love our lives now!

(Roy finds Angela sitting sadly on the balcony. He sits with Angela.)

Roy: Hey, you okay?

Angela: Oh, it’s nothing. I’m just a little sad about what happened with Tom.

Roy: Yeah, well, he was a big part of your life. I... guess I could invite him to the party if you think it to-

Angela: No! He betrayed us, and I have to forget about him, like I’m sure he’s already forgotten about us.

(Tom watches Angela from the garage's front-door window. He is covered in dirt and a crow defecates on Tom.)

(Tom walks through the streets as the streetlights stop working. He whines as he sees a defaced poster of him on a wall.)

(Scene cuts to an alleyway. Tom cooks a banana peel over a trash fire.)

Tom: This probably couldn’t get any-

(Someone places a paper bag over Tom's head and drags him away.)

(Tom wakes up in a dark room, tied to a chair with a bump on his head. He is approached by the Landlord.)

Tom: Whoever you are, you'd better watch out! I’m willing to try kung fu!

Landlord: (laughs) There will be no kung-and-fu fight today.

Tom: Wha- Landlord?!

Landlord: Sorry about the bag-head, Tom. We thought you wouldn’t meet with us if we just asked nicely.

Tom: Why are you- wait, who is "we?"

Darren: (appears) Aloooha!

Flo: (appears) Hello!

Mel: (appears) Aha!

Autumn Summers: (appears) Tom.

Tom: Oh, no!

(Ms. Vanthrax also appears.)

Tom: Come on! Haven't I suffered enough?!

Flo: We need your help.

Tom: What?

Flo: You see, something has to be done about... Roy.

Tom: Wait, you also think he’s up to evil, secret bad-guy things?

Darren: No, but we're used to clashing with whoever leads the garage group, and we preferred clashing with you!

Landlord: Roy is too clever! He convinced me to cut the rent in half!

(The Landlord is seen looking at his mail unhappily.)

Landlord: Why did I do that?

Mel: He put our science lab out of business. Now how will we mock our competitors?

(Ben is seen giving a science presentation. Mel and Flo are seen in the background, jealous.)

Ms. Vanthrax: He told the school board I was too tough on my students. Now I have to give them positive reinforcement. Eugh!

(Ms. Vanthrax is seen offering her students vegetables.)

Students: Ew!

Tom: Huh, well, I’m really more worried about the secret, evil bad-guy things, but I am onboard with getting rid of Roy, and I know exactly what we need to do.

(Tom is seen drawing a floor plan of Roy's house on a chalkboard. He is no longer dirty and his bump is gone.)

Tom: Roy seems perfect, but he’s hiding something in a secret room under his house. If we can break into that room and expose whatever is in it, we can take him down. But, the room is locked with a high-tech eyeball scanner that Roy can only use, so we need to fool that scanner.

Mel: But we'd have to do it when no one would notice people sneaking around Roy's house. That could be tricky.

Tom: Normally, yeah, but I happen to know about a party I wasn't invited to, and it's a perfect opportunity.

Act II
(Scene cuts to Roy's house party. Stringed lights decorate the mansion. Ben and Angela are in formal attire and Roy wears a pair of shades.)

Ben: Wow, the whole town is here celebrating our Funglasses!

Roy: Who'd miss a chance to party with a new top-team of tech! (goes to Ginger)

(Tom watches Roy through a pair of binoculars from the rooftop.)

Tom: (over spy communicator) Time to tango. We need a photo of Roy's eye, so we need to get those glasses off of him as soon as possible.

(Autumn Summers has infiltrated the party and is among the crowd.)

Autumn Summers: I'm on my way. (takes shrimp platter) Roy, you simply must try these tapa... (pretends to lose balance) wha...!

(Autumn "accidentally" causes the shrimp platter to fall into Roy's face. Roy spits out in disgust.)

Autumn Summers: Oh, no, I've tripped and utterly soiled your pretty head. Let me get that.

(Autumn Summers removes Roy's sunglasses and wipes his face with a cloth.)

Tom: Glasses are gone! Repeat, glasses are gone. Landlord, Vanthrax, you’re up!

(The Landlord and Ms. Vanthrax approach Roy.)

Ms. Vanthrax: Roy, I was just saying how positive reinforcement has really improved my teaching.

(Roy look visibly uncomfortable.)

Ms. Vanthrax: I absolutely need a picture of us to hang in my class to remind me of your great advice.

Landlord: (holds up phone camera) Say cheddar! (takes photo, laughs)

(Mel and Flo are in a van equipped with many electronic tools. Flo receives the photo.)

Flo: Photo's in. One eyeball, coming up.

(A 3D printer creates a replica of Roy's eye. Mel takes the eyeball and brings it to a launcher.)

Mel: Adjusting for the Coriolis Effect... and.. fire! (launches eyeball)

(The eyeball is launched towards Tom, who is wearing a baseball glove.)

Tom: (catches eyeball) Nice work, team! I’m goin' in.

Angela: (talks with Becca) You know, I always knew charity was important-

(Tom appears on a large screen that appears above Roy's house.)

Tom: Hello everybody! Remember me?

(The crowd boos at Tom.)

Woman: No one likes you!

(Tom is located in Roy's first secret room with the chessboard. Roy, who has his sunglasses back on, frowns at Tom.)

Tom: I bet you all still hate me, but... that doesn’t matter right now, because I’m in Roy’s house and I’m about to open his secret door. (flicks down chess piece)

(The second secret door opens, revealing the laser door with the eyeball scanner. The crowd gasps.)

Ginger: Wha- Tom!

Tom: Let's see who Roy really is. (laughs, holds eyeball in front of scanner)

Security System: Hello, Roy.

Tom: Now watch this.

Security System Voice: Please enter surprise password now.

(A screen with a keyboard appears. The crowd gasps.)

Tom: What?!

Roy: (snickers) (to crowd) So sorry about this, everybody. A sick weirdo's broken into my home and I need to get him the help he needs. In the meantime, how 'bout some tunes?

(The MC, who is at a deejay mixer, starts playing music. The crowd cheers.)

(Roy leaves and goes to Tom. Darren is seen with a remote and giggles mischievously.)

Roy: Tom, Tom, Tom. Did you really think I didn't know you'd try to crash my party? (chuckles) Nothin' to say? I'd be speechless too if I were about to be sent to prison. I'll lock this door up, then I'll lock you up! Let me just enter my secret code. (enters password)

(The password is rejected and nothing happens.)

Roy: Huh?

(Roy tries again, but to no avail.)

Roy: Huh? What the heck?

(Roy's surroundings fade back into the outside street, revealing he was wearing the Funglasses all along.)

Roy: (backs up) Whoa, whoa, huh?

(Roy is now just outside his front door.)

Roy: (removes sunglasses) Wait, these aren't my sunglasses. These are Funglasses!

Darren: Aloha!

(Darren is holding a remote and a phone containing the code that Roy entered.)

Darren: We switched those with your normal glasses when you took them off. You never went into your house. It was very realistic virtual reality.

Roy: Why would you do this?

Darren: Oh, just to trick you into giving Tom your secret code. No biggie.

(Roy screams and chases Darren, jumping on Jeremy. Darren jumps on Jeremy.)

Jeremy: Yow! (glares at Darren)

Ms. Vanthrax: (stops Roy) Stop! Hands off the student. (prepares punches)

Roy: What are you doing?

(Darren sends the code to Tom.)

Tom: (receives code) Ha! (types password)

(The laser door disappears and the door opens, revealing a cave-like passageway.)

Act III
(Tom straps a phone camera to his head with a headband. He starts walking into the passage, but is confronted by the friends.)

Ben: Wait! Don't do this.

Angela: Just because Roy is a private person doesn't mean he's a bad person!

Tom: Let's find out! (starts running down passage)

Friends: Hey! (chases Tom)

(The friends chase Tom down the passageway, until Ginger leaps on Tom and tackles him to the ground.)

Ginger: Got you! That'll teach you not to- (looks up and gasps)

(The friends have reached the end of the tunnel. The friends gasp.)

Ginger: Whoa!

(The second secret room contains many stacks of paper, as well as various miscellaneous items.)

Hank: Oh, Roy.

Tom: It's all the things that have mysteriously disappeared from town!

(The scene shows the park statue, a mailbox, a case of spoons, and the taxi, all of which are found in Roy's secret room.)

(The secret room is exposed to the crowd in the party.)

Crowd: What?!

Rhonda: (sees spoons) My stolen silverware!

Angela: Tom, you were right the whole time. Roy really is a thief.

Ben: Not just a thief, a liar! (points to blueprints) These are plans for sabotaging the Helping Hands. Roy framed Tom! (picks up sheet of paper) And this says he wanted to use the Funglasses to distract the whole town while he stole even more!

(The crowd approaches Roy angrily.)

Roy: (laughs nervously) Okay, everyone, I know this looks bad, but soon it won't, after I destroy the evidence and escape! (runs away)

(Roy presses a button on one of his suspenders.)

(The Helping Hand bots at the party turn hostile. They block off the partygoers while one of them carries Roy away.)

Roy: (laughs) I was sick of this dumpy town anyway!

(Roy presses button on his other suspender.)

Security System Voice: Warning, self-destruct initiated.

Roy: So long, losers! (flies away on Helping Hand bot)

(The house begins to tremble.)

Act IV
(The house crumbles while the friends are still in the secret room.)

Tom: No, no, no! We can't get blown up right after I finally proved I was right!

Ginger: We'll never be able to run out of here before it's too late!

Ben: Maybe we don't have to run! Come on, come on, come on, come on!

(The friends enter the taxi and begin driving out of the tunnel, avoiding the falling rocks.)

Hank: We'll never make it.

Ben: Just let me drive!

(The taxi accelerates. The friends scream.)

(Outside, the crowd panics and screams, running to evacuate.)

(The house implodes, leaving a cloud of rubble. The taxi is launched into the sky from the blast.)

(Rhonda, Landlord, and Ms. Vanthrax catch their stolen items from the sky.)

Woman: Yes!

(The taxi lands and crashes into a lamppost.)

Act V
Ben: (laughs) I'm the best driver ever! Uh, oh.

(The scene shows Roy's house reduced to rubble. Roy is seen flying away, waving at Tom tauntingly and laughing.)

Tom: Roy got away?

Angela: Tom, I'm so sorry we doubted you.

Hank: Me, too.

Ginger: Yeah.

Ben: Definitely.

Angela: Can you ever forgive us?

(Tom gazes at the friends.)

Tom: Of course, I can! I missed you all so much! (hugs friends) Now, let's go home. Wow, do I need a shower!

Hank: (sniffs Tom) Ooh, you really do.

(Angela giggles.)

(The ground begins to tremble.)

Tom: What is happening?!

(The crack produced by Roy's house extends to the garage. The friends run over in shock, gasping and screaming.)

(The garage collapses, leaving a sinkhole.)

Ginger: Uh, now what?

(Credits roll)