The Yes Girl/Transcript

[Harmonica playing the blues]

Hank: Wow. We're in the slammer, guys. Real jail is a lot scarier than TV jail.

-[man panting]

Hank: These are some real tough customers. How many push-ups is that one guy going to do?

Tom: Calm down! Don't forget why we're here. It's just a little further. Hey. How's it going?

Angela: You know? I've been better.

* Screen reads “One Week ago”. Tom and Angela are at Jerrys*

Tom: Hey! What's the matter? You've barely touched your Strawberry Chocalypse.

Angela: I know. I'm worried about my career. The only concert I've had in months was for a five-year-old's birthday party, And I got a bad review!

Tom: Me and Ben haven't had any big news for a while, either. So, I get it.

-[ding]

Tom: Oh, yes, Nice! Good Morning today wants to have me and Ben on to talk about our new supersonic veggie chopper! This is big news! And probably not what you need to hear right now.

Angela: No, it's fine. I'm happy for you. Just, some days I feel like I'm never going to be a superstar.

Rhonda: Angela, I used to be full of negativity, just like you.

Angela: Yeah, you're one of the most negative people I know!

Rhonda: Exactly. But then I read this!

Angela: Hmm. “Say Yes to the Yes: How to Embrace Your Inner Yes.”

Tom: Okay. Wait, is this one of those weird self-help scams?

Angela: He has a degree, so he probably knows what he's talking about!

Tom: -Uh... No.

Angela: "Good things happen to positive people. Turn that no upside down and the world will say yes to you!" That makes sense.

Tom: No, it really doesn't.

Rhonda: The book changed my life. You should borrow it.

Wesley: Excuse me? This ice water has too much water and not enough ice in the water.

Rhonda: More ice coming right up! See? The old me would have spit in his noodles.

Angela: Hm.

[motor running]

Ben: Oo-aaagh!

Ginger: Ow!

Ben: Stay back, Ginger! This is our brand new supersonic vegetable chopper. It could slice and dice your finger in an eighth of a second.

Ginger: A vegetable chopper? Aw, boring.

Tom: Boring? If this was "boring," would we be showing it off live on Good Morning Today?

Ginger: Yeah, because that show's boring, too.

Angela: This book is amazing! I've stopped blocking my "yes-itivity" and I feel great. From now on, I'm going to say yes to everything!

Ginger: Really? Want to clean my room?

Angela: Ginger, please don't take advantage of my new-found "yes-itude," but yes.

Tom: You're seriously going to clean his room because a book told you to?

Angela: Oh, I'm not taking any chances, Tom. It only takes a single "no" to erase all the positive energy you've built up with your yes-ing.

Ben: I'm not sure that I agree with this philosophy, Angela. Sometimes, it's important to say "no" to people.

Angela: The book refers to people who talk like that as "no-bodies." Cleaning Ginger's room might not sound like fun, but I know I'll be rewarded somehow.

Ginger: Yeah. Like that time I found a piece of pizza in my sock drawer.

Angela: Right. The "yes" works in mysterious ways. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a friend to help.

-[motor whirrs]

Ben: Ginger!

Rhonda: Thanks for helping with these dishes.

Angela: It's the least I could do! This philosophy is totally paying off. I've been feeling so good, I'm even inspired about music again! ♪ Hey, hardened spaghetti noodle You're holding on real tight ♪ ♪ What's up, flaky apple strudel? You're giving my sponge a fight ♪

-[slow clap]

Angela: Huh?

Director: Magnificent! A star is born! Allow me to introduce myself. I'm the director on the hit musical police drama,

Angela: Law Capella. Really? I love Law Capella! ♪ Twenty-five to life! Twenty-five to life! That's what-- ♪

Director: I know the song, kid. I wrote "Twenty-five To Life."When I heard you sing to that food, I thought you'd be perfect for our show. How would you like to audition to be Singing Juror Number Nine?

Angela: What? [screams]

Rhonda: You should take that as a "yes!

* Angela now at home.*

Angela: We, the jury, find the defendant..♪ Guilty as charged Yes, guilty as charged ♪ ♪ We've reviewed all the evidence-- ♪

-[phone rings]

Angela: Oh. Hey, Tom How's it going? 'Cause everything is going great for me!

Tom: Um... We're about to go on Good Morning Today to present our vegetable chopper, but we forgot it at home!

Ben: You're the one who forgot it! –

Tom: it doesn't matter who forgot it! It was forgotten! Okay? Can you please pick it up from the garage and bring it to us? You're still doing that whole "yes" thing, right? The thing I'm really sorry I wasn't more positive about before?

Angela: Yes! I'm still doing it! But I have a big audition at eight o'clock. Can Hank bring it?

Tom: He's not answering his phone. Please help us, Angela.

Angela: Well... Saying yes has brought me this far. Okay. Yes. Let's do this!

Ginger: Angela, wait! You're still saying "yes" all the time, right?

Angela: Um... yes. What now, Ginger

Ginger: I stuck a bunch of colorful tacks in my tires to make them look cool, only I think it backfired. Can you give me a ride to school?

Angela: Yes, fine! Hop on.

Ginger: Thanks, you're a hero!

Angela:  Ten minutes. You got this, girl.

'''Unnamed Minor Charecter: '''Would you... mind taking our... photo?

Angela: Sorry. I'm really in a rush so I

*In Angela’s Mind* It only takes a single "no" to erase all the positive energy you've built up with your yes-ing.

Angela: I mean, yes. I would love to.

Daisy: Now, let's do a silly one!

[motorcycle engine revs]

Angela: Oh, no. I mean, yes!

[siren blares]

Ben: Ohhh! Ooh!

[sirens wailing]

[screams, baby cries]

Unnamed Minor Character: You guys are on! Let's show the world that veggie-chopping action!

Ben: What do we do? We'll embarrass ourselves in front of the whole world on TV!

Tom: Don't worry. Angela will come through. You'll see!

Ben: I'll give a fake name. Linda.

Tom: Where are you, Angela? Come on. Show the crowd your TV smile.

[applause]

[siren wailing]

News Reporter: I am here with inventors Tom and Ben, and they're going to show us, tell me if I'm getting this right, guys, a super-sonic vegetable chopper!

Tom: Um... maybe we should check the weather first? How's our week looking, Deb?

Deb:  sunny.

Tom: There you have it. [nervous laugh]

[sirens wailing]

Angela: Woo-hoo!

'''Police Officer Brian: '''Aagh!

Angela: Yes!

Tom: And that's the exact time we officially founded Tom and Ben Enterprises. Yeah. So... I guess that means it's time for us to Quick, Ben, run!

-[audience gasps]

Angela: Wait! I'm here! I did it!

Tom: Hey, stop! That's my girlfriend!

'''Police Officer Brian: '''Oh, yeah? Well, your girlfriend is under arrest for reckless scooting! We got her. Repeat, we got the town maniac.

Angela: I'm not the town maniac! I was just embracing my "yes-itivity!" -That's what they all say.Wait! I'm a good person!

-[audience cheers]

Tom: Uh... thank you. The rest of the talk show went pretty well, at least. Which... is not what you need to hear right now. I keep doing that!

Angela: Hey, I'm glad I saved your show, and I appreciate you coming to get me. but I can't believe I thought saying yes to everything was a good idea.

Ben: It's not bad to say yes. You just also have to say no sometimes.

Angela: Trust me, Ben, I'm going to say no to everything from now on.

Hank: That's the spirit! Kinda.

-[phone ringing]

Tom: Oh, this is yours. You want to answer it?

Angela: No. Huh, that felt good.

Tom: Hello, Angela's phone. Uh-huh. Wait, you're... It is the director of Law Capella! He saw your arrest on TV and thinks that you'd be perfect to play a singing criminal in next week's episode! Oh, but you said you're not saying--

Angela: Yes! I'll do it! Yes! Yes! Yes!