A Secret Worth Keeping: Part One/Transcript

(The episode starts with Tom, Hank and Ginger speeding through traffic on a wagon, when they see Angela in the way)

Tom: Angela, get out of the way!

Angela: Nooo!

(Four hours earlier, Angela arrived at Rhonda's diner.)

Rhonda: Hey, Angela! What are you doing here so early? I haven't even set the table for your surprise!

Angela: For my surprise? For my surprise what?

Rhonda: Uh, nothing, no, nothing at all. (chuckles)

(The door opens and Ben walks in the diner with a box of supplies. He gasps and turns to leave.)

Angela: Ben!

Ben: (gasps) (throws away box of supplies and walks back inside whistling) Angela, what are you doing here already? We're not ready to start your surprise... I mean birthday... (gasps)

Angela: You mean my surprise birthday party?

Ben: Oh, I blew it! Why can't I keep a secret? Well, at least I didn't say anything about the chocolate raspberry cake.

Angela: Chocolate raspberry cake? (squeals) It's my favourite.

(Ben screams.)

(Theme song)

(Scene cuts to Ben and Angela sitting on the table.)

Angela: Oh hey, where are Tom and the guys anyway? Shouldn't they be here by now?

Ben: Tom wanted to get you a special new cake at that new bakery across town, The Baked Dessert. They're probably on their way.

(Camera cuts to Tom, Hank and Ginger walking in a desert. Hank reads a sign, reading "The Baked Desert.")

Hank: How in the world did we end up in the baked desert?

Tom: Yeah, that's weird. Um... unrelated question, how many 's's are in the word "dessert?"

Ginger: Oh great. Now we're gonna miss Angela's party because Tom can't spell?

Tom: Uh-uh-uh-uh, no, no, no, we can still make it to the party if we hurry. I'll just reprogram the GPSS to get us to the diner.

Ginger: You know "diner" only has one 'n,' right?

Tom: Eh, I better look that up. (The phone's battery dies) Noooo!

Hank: Save your energy, Tom. In the desert, no one can hear you scream.

Ginger: That's space, Hank. In space no one can hear you scream!

Hank: Yeah, well, that's 'cause there's a lot of space in the desert.

Tom: Okay, okay, let's not panic. Now my scout boy survival training will get us out of here. Any good scout boy knows moss always grows on the south side of a tree, so all we have to do, is find a tree...

(Scene pans to show that there are no trees in sight.)

Tom: ...which might be harder than I thought.

(Ginger groans.)

Ginger: (notices something and gasps) Hold on for a second. I found something!

(Scene shows a shack with a sign reading "World's Biggest Candy Bar.")

Ginger: Ah, ooh! (imagines eating the candy bar)

Ginger: The world's biggest candy bar!(walks towards the shack)

Tom: (grabs Ginger) No, Ginger, wasting time at some roadside tourist trap is not gonna get us any closer to Angela.

Hank: Well, I don't know if this is helpful, but I found a sign with an arrow on it pointing to where the town is. (points to sign reading "Town")

Tom: Good job, Hank. See, now we'll just follow this arrow and we'll be at Angela's party in no time! Come on. (starts walking)

Hank: Ginger, let's go! (starts walking)

Ginger: No, what? Wait. (throws down party hat)

(As Tom, Hank and Ginger walk, the wind blows the sign the other way.)

(Scene cuts to Ben and Angela.)

Ben: (sighs and hums) So...

Angela: So?

Ben: (sighs) Hmm... write any new songs?

Angela: Nah, I've been feeling kinda blue lately. Hey, you know what? Forget those guys. Let's get this party started! Why don't we order some ice cream?

Ben: No thanks. I don't like to eat ice cream on an empty stomach.

Angela: Rhonda! (Rhonda arrives.)

Rhonda: Yeah, what do you want?

Angela: One scoop of strawberry ice cream, please.

Ben: Strawberry? That's my favourite!

Angela: Mine too. (to Rhonda) Make it a double.

Rhonda: You got it. (writes down order)

(Scene cuts to Tom, Hank, and Ginger walking in the desert. They are panting and exhausted.)

Tom: Oh, man. (pants) Now I understand why cowboys wear such big hats.

(Hank spots the garage and hugs Tom)

Hank: You did it, Tom! You saved us!

Tom: What do you mean guys?

(Hank sprints into the garage, sits on the couch and turns on the TV. A cactus with a face is on the TV screen.)

Hank: Phew, on the Cactus Network.

(A talking cactus is sitting next to Hank.)

Cactus: Howdy, Hank.

Hank: Hello there, Mr. Garden.

(The garage disappears, revealing that it was nothing but a mirage. In reality, Hank's couch was really a rock and the cactus was an ordinary, non-talking cactus.)

Ginger: (to Tom) Well, I guess we should just leave him here, right guys?

Tom: No, Ginger. We're not leaving Hank. Hank! Come on Hank. But we're not home! That's not the garage, it's just a mirage! Now let's get back on this trail. We're probably almost there! Come on!

(The friends keep walking, when Tom notices Angela in his sight.)

Tom: Angela? (hugs her)

(Angela is revealed to be another mirage, and in reality was another cactus.)

(Tom screams and leaps high into the air. He falls and thuds.)

(The friends keep walking, when they spot the town sign again.)

Tom: This can't be! We just walked in a big circle?

Ginger: Well, Tom, that can only mean one thing. We get to see the world's biggest candy bar!

Tom: We don't have time for that.

Ginger: Give it up, Tom. We're never gonna make it back to town. Time to start our new lives here in the desert. Just you, me, Hank, and the world's biggest candy bar.

Hank: He's got a point, Tom. Besides, what else are we gonna do?

Tom: Fine. Maybe someone there can give us directions to the diner.

Ginger: (cheers) I'm gonna take a picture of the candy bar! I'm gonna ride that candy bar! I'm gonna get a candy bar keychain! (runs to the candy bar)

(Tom and Hank follow Ginger.)

(Scene cuts back to Ben and Angela rapidly eating their ice cream. There is a stack of dirty bowls, indicating that they have eaten a lot of ice cream.)

Angela: (throws bowl aside and shouts) Rhonda!

Rhonda: (arrives) Yeah, yeah, what do you want? I ain't deaf.

Angela: Another bowl, please.

Rhonda: Honey, I think you've had enough.

Angela: (chuckles) You listen here (angrily), Rhonda. (hits table) It's my birthday, and I'll have as much ice cream as I want! (hits table, causing a spoon to fly) Duh!

(The spoon hits Rhonda in the eye. She removes the spoon, annoyed.)

Ben: (laughs and hits table) Yeah! (faints)

(Scene shows Tom, Hank and Ginger in the hut. Ginger is disappointed that the candy bar is not as big as he imagined.)

Ginger: (sighs) That's not so big.

Tom: (slightly angry) See, Ginger? This place is not just a tourist trap. Oh, no, no. It's a closed and abandoned tourist trap.

Hank: (reads pamphlet) It says here that the whole town shut down when a bigger candy bar was discovered by villagers in the local mountains. This pamphlet is full of fun facts. Did you know that they got the candy bar here by putting wheels on the bottom? Too bad the way here is all uphill.

Ginger: (with an idea) Wait a minute! If the way here is uphill...

Tom: ...and there are wheels on the candy bar, I think I have an idea.

(They push the candy bar up a hill.)

Tom: Okay, everyone. When I count to three, let's all jump on. One, two... (starts pushing wagon downhill)

Hank: You're counting too fast!

Tom: Three!

(Tom and Hank manage to jump off, but Ginger does not.)

Ginger: Hey! Wait!

Hank: Ginger! Give me your hand!

(Ginger takes Hank's hand and leaps on the wagon.)

(Scene cuts to Ben and Angela at the diner. A large stack of bowls are seen.)

Angela: (gloomy) Maybe Tom forgot my birthday. I mean, we talked about it yesterday, but I guess sometimes birthdays are hard to remember, right?

Ben: (feeling sick) Angela?

Angela: Huh?

Ben: Angela.

Angela: Uh, huh?

Ben: (burps) Tom definitely did not forget your birthday.

Angela: Oh well, is he invisible, because I don't see him anywhere!

Ben: Angela, listen to me. I'll be the first to admit that Tom has his flaws, but he always... (gags) ...comes through in the end.

Angela: Well, yeah, except it's always by doing something crazy and dangerous!

Ben: That is not true.

(Scene cuts to Tom, Hank and Ginger riding the wagon in the desert.)

Tom: (excited) This is crazy!

Hank: (also excited) And dangerous!

(The wagon reaches town.)

(Scene shows Ben and Angela riding into town.)

Ben: You know, Hank and Ginger are missing too. But it seems like you mostly care that Tom isn't here.

Angela: (waits a few seconds) Okay, can I tell you a secret?

Ben: No don't tell me. I can't stand the pressure that comes with keeping secrets.

Angela: (chuckles) Right. You're so right... (blurts out) I kinda like Tom!

(Everyone in the diner gasps and looks at Angela.)

Angela: (gasps) I can't believe I said it out loud.

Ben: (excited) Angela, I can't believe it! This is great news! When Tom gets here, let me talk to him and tell him that you--

Angela: (interrupting) What? No! Don't you dare say anything! Not a word! It could ruin our friendship!

Ben: But why- why did you tell me?!

Angela: I don't know. I guess I couldn't stand the pressure of being the only one who knew!

Ben: (shocked) So you told me?! But I just told you I can't keep a secret! I can't handle it! (runs out of the diner screaming)

Angela: Ben! But wait! (follows Ben)

(Tom, Hank, and Ginger are riding in the streets on the wagon.)

(Angela leaves the diner and looks for Ben.)

Angela: Where are you?

(Ben is hiding behind a truck)

Angela: Wait, what?

(The wagon continues riding towards the diner. Tom notices Angela on the sidewalk.)

Tom: Wait, what is that? (sees Angela) Angela, get out of the way!

Angela: Nooo!

(Angela leaps out of the way just as the wagon crashes into a lamppost. Tom comes to eventually.)

Tom: Ow... (gasps) Angela?

(Tom sees Angela unconscious and thinks she's dead)

Tom: No! (sobs)

Angela: (comes to) Is everyone okay?

Tom: Happy birthday, Angela. (Hank and Ginger pop up happily) Surprise!

(Ben appears.)

Ben: Tom!

(Ben rushes towards Tom. Angela covers his mouth.)

Tom: Is he alright?

Ben: (breaks free) Tom, I have to tell you something about Angela.

Angela: (covering his mouth) No, he doesn't. (to Ben) No you don't, right Ben? You just wanted more ice cream! Right here. Eat it! (force-feeds ice cream to Ben)

Ben: (shrieks) Brain freeze! Oh, I'm passing out... (faints)

Angela: (giggles) Wow, I guess Ben can't hold his ice cream, right?

Tom: Yeah, I guess not. What was he gonna say?

Angela: Nothing. He was just joking.

Tom: Well, happy birthday. I hope you saved room for dessert. (shows candy bar)

Angela: Dessert? That sounds... (stomach grumbles)

(Angela faints on Ben.)

Tom: Oh.

(credits)