The Brave Sir Ginger/Transcript

(Scene shows Ginger's class at a museum exhibit. The students are visibly bored.)

Guide: ...and that is how they made candles in the Middle Ages!

(A girl collapses from boredom.)

Ginger: (whispers to Ronnie) This is so boring! Why can't we learn about cool stuff, like knights, and ogres, and dragons?

Ronnie: Hey, I like candles! They're the second-best part of birthday wishes!

(Ginger scoffs.)

Guide: Come, kids! There's plenty more educational things to see!

(Ginger finds an exhibit depicting a sword in a tree trunk.)

Ginger: Finally something good! A sword! (runs to sword)

Guide: Ah, that's the Sword of Virtue! No one has ever been able to pull it from that stump. Legend has it that whoever does will become the knight protector of this realm.

(Ginger gasps in amazement.)

Guide: But, that's not part of this tour. Next up, how nails were made!

(Ginger sneaks back to the sword.)

Ronnie: Come on, we've got nails to see!

(Ginger starts pulling on the sword.)

Ronnie: And you're not going to get the sword out. It's stuck forever.

(Ginger finally manages to pull the sword out of the stump.)

Ronnie: (stutters) Wow!

Ginger: Sorry, I didn't hear you! I was too busy becoming Knight Protector!

(Theme song plays)

(Scene cuts to the garage. Ben and Angela are heard screaming.)

Ben: (screams) Duck and cover!

(Ginger is swinging on the ceiling fan with the sword. He then starts bouncing on several pieces of furniture, haphazardly swinging his sword.)

Ben: Stop!

Ginger: (strikes computer) Take that!

(Ginger bounces off a beanbag chair, then onto a wheeled chair. However, the chair falls, and Ginger is sent flying forward. The sword becomes lodged into the couch.)

Tom: (takes sword) That's enough, Ginger!

Sword: Back away, knave!

(Tom drops the sword and ducks behind the couch, shocked that the sword was talking.)

Sword: I belong to Sir Ginger, the Knight Protector!

Tom: What the...

Ginger: My magic sword just got more magic!

Ben: What...?! This is absurd. Let me check that thing for speakers.

Ginger: Back away, knave!

Ben: Ginger...! (extends hand to take sword)

Ginger: No! (hits Ben's hand)

Ben: Ow!

Angela: This might actually be real. The Internet Legend Database says the Sword of Virtue was enchanted with speech to teach its owner the way of knights.

Sword: Sir Database speaks the truth! What now, brave Sir Ginger? Ready to learn?

Ginger: (shows poster depicting knights) I'm pretty sure I know how this works.

(A montage is shown of Ginger moving around town, swinging his sword. Ginger wears a helmet made with what appears to be cardboard.)

(Scene cuts to outside the diner. Ginger rides his bike, holding his sword.)

Ginger: Woo!

(The people run away.)

Sword: Sir Ginger, please! I simply want to teach you!

(Ginger hops off the tops of many cars and into a garbage truck. He swings the sword at the garbage bags, causing the bags to fall onto the cars driving.)

Ginger: Yay!

Sword: Please, Sir Ginger, listen to-

(A garbage bag falls onto the sword.)

(Scene cuts to the park. A police officer talks to a kid.)

Cop: Kid, this is a crime scene here, okay? Someone stole a statue right out of the park, and we're looking for clues, but-

(Ginger appears on his bike.)

Ginger: Your Knight Protector will help, peasant! Yeah! (bikes away)

Sword: Won't you please just stop?

(End of montage. Scene cuts to the driveway.)

Angela: So, excited about the laser show?

Ben: Yeah, this is gonna be great.

(Ginger appears.)

Ginger: I grow weary from a long day of heroics, and I demand a payment of candy! (draws sword) Candy, I say!

Tom: Knights don't get paid in candy. I mean, didn't your sword tell you that?

Ginger: No.

Sword: Sir Ginger has not given me a chance to teach him. He's been too busy yelling and swinging me around.

Ginger: Quiet, Swordy! I know how to hero. I don't need to learn anything!

Angela: But, Ginger-

Ginger: (tutting) Please raise your hand if you're a knight.

(Tom subtly raises his hand, but Angela nudges Tom's hand down.)

Ginger: Oh, I thought so. Now, candy! (starts swinging sword)

(The friends back away.)

Angela: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Ginger, stop!

(Tom and Ben lean back into the door, opening the door and falling inside. Ben wonders why the door is unlocked.)

Ben: Huh?

(The furniture in the garage is overturned, indicating a break-in.)

Tom: What happened in here? Hank?

Ginger: Hank?

(A hooded figure appears in purple dust. He holds a scepter with a crystal, implying that he is a sorcerer.)

Sorcerer: Your friend isn't here right now. He's been taken. By me! (holds up crystal ball and laughs)

(The crystal ball shows Hank locked behind bars.)

Hank (in crystal ball): Guys, what's going on? I'm scared!

Sorcerer: I have been awakened from my slumber because someone is claiming to be Knight Protector! Would that be you, Ginger the Weak?

Ginger: (draws sword and grunts) More like Ginger the Gonna-Kick-Your-Butt! Give me back my pal!

Sorcerer: Or what? You could never defeat me.

(The sorcerer casts a spell with his crystal scepter. The crystal emits a light, electrocuting the sword. The sword screams, then is thrown on the floor.)

Sorcerer: Zap! (laughs evilly)

(Ginger screams.)

Sorcerer: If you want to rescue your friend, meet me in the clearing in the woods at sundown. But you'd better be ready! (disappears)

Tom: That wizard doesn't know who he's messing with! Right, Ginger?

(Ginger is nowhere to be found.)

Tom: Ginger?

(Ginger is hiding behind a gate across the street.)

Ginger: (shudders) I don't know how to fight a dark wizard. I thought being a Knight Protector would be fun, not scary! What am I gonna do?

Ben: Well, I hate to be Captain Magic, but the sword did mention it could train you to be a better knight!

Ginger: Can you really do it, Swordy?

Sword: Of course, Sir Ginger! You simply must follow the Knight's Path.

(Tom gives the sword to Ginger.)

Sword: (recites rhyme)

The first step is no time to yield,

for now's the time to make your shield!

Ginger: Now, we're talking! I want one with spikes and a laser!

Sword: (continues reciting)

But, if you want to win the day,

you must do it in the right way.

Ginger: What's that mean?

Ben: I think I might know.

(Scene cuts to the taxi in the driveway. Ben and Ginger are forging a shield from metal. Ginger hammers the hot metal to shape it into a shield.)

Ben: Medieval blacksmiths were master technicians. Observe their process!

(Angela carries a barrel of water. Ben uses a tool to dip the hot shield into the water, cooling it down. The metal hisses.)

(Ben exclaims as he pulls the shield out of the water.)

Ginger: That looks like a dinner plate.

Ben: For a first try, it's not bad, huh?

Ginger: Well, okay. Swordy, I made a shield. What do I do with it?

Sword: (continues rhyme)

That shield will help you save the day,

as you learn the knight the knightly way.

But to strike fear into a foe's chest,

you must create your knightly crest.

Ginger: But what's that? A cool helmet?

(Angela nudges Tom.)

Tom: Oh- I know this! A knight's crest was a picture representing who they are.

(The friends look at Tom awkwardly.)

Tom: What? I went through a castle phase. Ginger, ask yourself, "Who are you?"

(The scene shows a few scenes of Ginger parading through town, then eating candy, then drawing his sword.)

(Scene cuts to the garage. Ginger draws on a banner his crest. On the left half of his crest is a drawing of a sword, on the top-right is a drawing of a bike, and on the bottom-right is a drawing of candy.)

Ginger: Okay, this is everything that's important to me right now! Not sure how it's going to help me fight a wizard.

Sword: (continues rhyme)

The third step is no small trick:

to learn the craft of wax and wick!

Ben: "The craft of wax and wick." Hmm, wax and wick. Huh, it sounds like you're supposed to make a can-

(Scene cuts to Angela's apartment. Angela assists Ginger in making a candle. Ginger is holding the wick over a pot of wax.)

Angela: Now, slowly pull the candle by the wick from its mold and...

(Ginger pulls the candle out.)

Angela: Voila! Not bad, huh!

Ginger: But what does that have to do with being a knight?

Ben: (points to window) Guys, it's almost sundown. We're running out of time to save Hank!

Ginger: This makes no sense! How will a candle, a picture, and a junky shield help me fight a wizard?!

Sword: (continues rhyme, but is muffled)

To win your fight...

(Ginger sighs and pulls out the sword.)

Sword: (finishes rhyme)

...you must be clever.

Use the things you've learned together!

Ginger: Uh, not helpful, Swordy!

Tom: Ginger, you don't have to do this alone! We can help you!

Ginger: I am the Knight Protector. This is my fight! It always has been, ever since earlier today when I got this sword. I have to trust my path! (gathers items and leaves)

(Scene cuts to the forest. Hank is in a cage talking to the sorcerer, who is using his phone.)

Hank: Where'd you get a staff like that? Did you have to make it? Is there a guy who sells staffs?

(A breaking twig is heard.)

Sorcerer: Silence! I sense someone nearby.

(Ginger appears and charges at the sorcerer.)

Sorcerer: Well, well, well. Do you think you have what it takes to fight me?

Ginger: You bet! You're looking at someone who just did the Knight's Path!v

Sorcerer: (laughs) You young fool! I could banish you to the dark realms with a single spell!

Ginger: No, you can't, because I can use the things I learned together! (holds up items) Candle! Crest! Junky shield!

(Ginger expects the items to do something, but nothing happens.)

Ginger: Okay, swordy.

(The sword is silent.)

Ginger: What now, swordy?

(The sorcerer casts a spell. A line of lightning appears between the staff's crystal and his left hand. He laughs evilly.)

(Ginger retreats. He goes to Angela, Ben and Ginger, who are sitting on a log nearby. Ginger falls down a hill.)

Angela: Ginger, what happened?

Ginger: I lost! My stupid sword gave stupid advice! Using the things I learned together didn't do anything! (takes out poster) I'll never understand being a knight.

(Tom examines the poster depicting the knights and notices how the knights are working together.)

Tom: Hmm... wait. Maybe that's not what "together" actually meant.

(Scene cuts back to Hank and the sorcerer. Tom appears, holding the crest.)

Hank: Tom!

Sorcerer: What?!

Tom: I, Tom the Squire, hereby announce the arrival of Sir Ginger the Brave!

(Ginger appears with the sword.)

Sorcerer: Fool! (casts spell)

(Ben appears, blocking the spell with the shield.)

Sorcerer: Huh!

Tom: Yes!

Ben: Ha!

(Ginger laughs.)

Tom: Lady Angela the Candlemaker!

(Angela appears with the candle. She gives a battle cry before striking the sorcerer down.)

Ginger: Yeah!

Sorcerer: Getting your friends to fight for you?! What kind of knight are you?!

Ginger: Real knights depended on others to succeed! Blacksmiths, squires and candlemakers all helped too!

(The friends appear alongside Ginger. The sorcerer smiles.)

Ginger: Now, eat sword, knave!

(The sword starts talking, only in a less "wizardly" accent and more like an average person.)

Sword: Congratulations on completing this interactive lesson on medieval knights!

Ginger: Swordy, what are you saying?

(The sorcerer removes his hood, revealing himself to be the museum guide.)

Ginger: (gasps) Hey! You're the museum guy!

Guide: (puts on glasses) I am! We got a lot of feedback that our normal tours are, well, very boring. So, this "quest" is a new program we're doing.

Ginger: But the sword talked!

Ben: Yes, it has little speakers in it!

Ginger: What? But how did you know that?!

(Hank pushes himself through the bars.)

Hank: Sorry for fooling you, Ginger, but they said if we played along, they'd give us tickets to the museum laser show!

(The friends laugh.)

Ginger: I don't understand! Are you saying that "Knight's Path" stuff wasn't training me to be a wizard-fighter?

Guide: (laughs) No, it was learning!

Ginger: (grunts) You tricked me! (growls)

Tom: That's true, but, Ginger, look what you did! You were a brave knight and you saved your friend!

(Hank giggles holding his tickets.)

Tom: And I bet you had some fun, too.

Ginger: (grunts) Okay, but my next adventure better be real!

Guide: Well, I'm glad you liked it! I-I'm going to have to ask you to clear out. Another kid is coming and we can't spoil the surprise!

(The museum guide takes out the sword and throws it into a pile of used swords.)

(Credits roll)