Hank vs. Vampires/Transcript

(Scene shows a salesman approaching on the garage door at night. Inside, Hank is seen watching TV. Hank yawns when the salesman knocks on the door.)

Hank: (opens door) Hello, uh, may I help you?

Mysterious Man: Have you ever felt disappointed with... your television options? (laughs evilly)

Hank: Uh, OBJ no, I've never thought about that, but I'm thinking about it now.

(Bert & Ernie appear)

(The salesman laughs nervously.)

Tom: Hank, what are you doing? Don't talk to a door-to-door salesman! (swings Hank)

Angela: Yeah, back off, buddy! Go peddle your lies somewhere else.

Mysterious Man: Oh, I am dreadfully sorry. I merely thought you might be interested in 500 television channels. (holds device)

Hank: (gasps) 500 channels? Tom, we should hear him out.

(Tom pulls Hank into the garage and closes the door.)

Tom: (to Hank) You can't trust a salesman. They'll say anything to try and make a sale!

Angela: And Tom should know, because he's basically a salesman.

Tom: Yeah. Wait, that was a compliment, right?

Angela: Um...

Tom: Eh, I'll take it as a compliment.

(Tom and Angela leave, leaving Hank alone.)

(Hank follows the salesman in the streets holding a jar of money. The salesman is whistling.)

Hank: Hey! Forget my friends. Here's some money. I need that gizmo!

Mysterious Man: Oh, this is a deal you assuredly will not regret! (laughs evilly)

Hank: (gives salesman the jar of coins and takes device) Why would I, right?

(The salesman laughs evilly.)

Hank: ...Right?

(Theme song plays)

(Scene cuts to the living room. Ginger is reading on the couch when he sees Hank plugging the device into the television.)

Ginger: Ooh!

(Hank goes to the couch.)

Tom: So, you ignored us and bought the TV channels from the creepy guy, Huh?