Landlord In Love/Transcript

Tom: Lamp shot!

Hank: Wah! Couch shot!

Angela: Fridge shot!

Ben: Ow! Hey!

Hank: Whoa! A computer-Ben-juice-cup shot! That's game!

Angela: Good job, Tom.

Ginger: Are you guys still playing garage-pong?

Tom: Uh...

Ginger: Aw, man! I missed it!

Tom: Sorry, Ginger.

Ginger: I was practicing to the game all day. But Ms. Vanthrax made me stay after school because I was distracting people - with my mad skills!

Tom: Throwing a ball in a classroom is distracting? Since when?

Ginger: She just loves punishing me!

Tom: I'll tell you what, Ginger, I'm ready to go another round. Because this garage will always be a place where garage-pong is not a crime!

Landlord: Hey!

Ginger: Oh, no! It's the landlord!

Hank: Tom, you hit his highness right in the eye-ness. Prithee, m'lord, do not kick us off your lands for this grand offense.

Landlord: Kick you out? For playing pong-ping? Never!

All: (relieved sighs)

Hank: Phew!

Landlord: But I am kicking you out because I am selling this place, so...

Ben: What?!

Hank: (gasps)

Landlord: You have to leave. Bye bye!

Tom: No, wait!

Ginger: Oh!

(The scene cuts to the theme song)

Tom: Why are you selling your house?

Landlord: Ehh real estate deals are complicated and boring but maybe I'll explain it in song.

[♪ tropical music]

Landlord : ♪ I want to live on tropical island ♪

♪ Eat coconuts and frolic on semi-dry land ♪

♪ Oh, party and play aboard yachts on the seas ♪

♪ Ride down the lava on tiki skis ♪

♪ And most of all ♪

♪ Finally find love of my life! ♪

-Aw! -This is our home! What will we do?

"Wah, wah, wah." You are soft and weak.

When I was boy in mountain village, I sleep on thorn bushes

with blankets made of rocks.

Oh, but you whine when I sell garage.

Cos it's also our office!

Maybe new owner lets you stay.

You know, he says you guys are best friends.

Really? Who's the new owner?

Er, something like eh, starts with C, like the sound a bird makes. C.O.O--

What?! The CEO?!

He's not our best friend. He's our worst enemy.

Eh. When I was your age we had real enemy -

the people-biting-fury-fish that would bite us when we swim in Lake Ouchie.

Why would you swim in Lake Ouchie?

Believe me, much safer than Lake Yikes. [thunder claps]

Please! No! Anybody but the CEO. Landlord, come back!

Call me by my island name now - Sandlord.

-[chuckles] -Ugh.

-Uh, Hank. Why are you gardening? -I'm not gardening, Tom.

I'm digging up my plants so I can take them with me.

Hank, don't give up yet, okay? We're not leaving without a fight.

Okay. Back you go, little buddies.

Agh!

Aw.

CEO, what are you doing here?

Gloating. I've beaten you, Tom,

-Barton, Fredo, Minnie. -Uh...

Don't correct me. Your names don't matter.

-[helicopter whirrs] -[Ben] Whoa! What is that?

It's the first piece for my Museum of Me!

[CEO] That's what I'm putting in here when I kick you to the curb.

I think it will look good in the place where your hopes and dreams used to go,

don't you?

[evil laugh]

I will not let him get this garage.

Hey there, Landlord. I'm the CEO's brother.

He told me to buy the garage for him. So let's close this deal. What do you say?

If you are CEO's brother, why are you so hairy?

Uh... shaving is for poor people!

Whatever you say, brother of CEO.

-[Landlord laughs] -Yes!

As long as you bring me the bathtub full of money as payment,

we can close the deal.

How about we close this deal with a trusting business handshake?

No handshake. We agreed, bathtub full of money!

I see. Good day, sir.

We need another plan.

[♪ tropical music]

Aloha, Landlord. Sit down, have a coconut!

And now we present a song guaranteed to make you want to keep the garage.

♪ You don't need to go to a tropical island ♪

♪ We have coconuts and fake sand, too ♪

♪ No need for the big waves of the ocean

♪ We can leave the garden hose running for you ♪

Bravo!

Now, point me to the love of my life and maybe I stay.

We don't have that part yet, but have you ever tried skimboarding?

Hm. All right. Show's over.

-No? -Start packing.

Are you actually giving up on the garage, after all it's done for you?

It's over, Ginger. We tried everything.

-Coconuts, sand, disguises... -Even skimboarding.

We couldn't give the landlord what he wanted most of all.

♪ The love of his life ♪

The love of his life, huh?

I have an idea that might solve both our problems.

Something happened at detention today with Ms. Vanthrax.

I was cleaning the masks that she uses to scare the children into behaving.

Some of them are of her.

Aagh!

Ms. Vanthrax, this is a creepy punishment

when all I did was draw a picture of you - as a cyclops!

-[Ginger giggles] -Hm! Thanks for noticing.

I live alone, so I've got nothing to do

but think of creative ways to punish children!

[evil laugh]

Ms. Vanthrax is single and the landlord wants to mingle.

So if we get them together, she'll be too busy to punish me.

And if the landlord is in love,

he won't want to leave, which means he won't sell the garage.

I think you're on to something.

[violin scraping tunelessly]

Well, I guess people do need lessons to play these things.

Let me try. I watch a lot of violin-based television.

Hm.

[plays a beautiful scale]

Whoa.

TV, you've never failed me. [knock on door]

She's here! Guys, remember - be romantic.

I'm here about your ad for the masks that can scare children--

Thomas?

I never thought I'd see you in the fast-paced world of scary masks.

I think you'll find that this night is full of surprises.

I just want the masks.

What's your hurry? Please, come on in.

Oh, no. I see what's going on here.

You arranged this romantic situation

to set me up with an available gentleman, didn't you?

-[♪ Da-da-da-duh!] -Er, no.

Everyone assumes a beautiful, sophisticated gal like myself

is looking for a man - well, I'm not!

-[♪ Da-da-da-duh!] -But you said...

I mean, I heard you just sit around all day thinking of punishments!

-[Hank playing "Beethoven's 5th symphony"] -Yes! That's what I love to do.

And that's what I'll be doing for the rest of the evening!

Oh!

Okay, Tom, show me this rare mold you found growing in kitchen.

What's going on here?

-[Hank plays romantic tune] -Did you arrange this romantic situation

to set me up with this distinguished lady?

Absurd, isn't it?

-Oh, no. It's not working. -They just need a little more of a push.

[clears throat] Wow! You guys really figured us out!

Darn! We hoped tricking you would be easy.

Easy? That's the problem with you! You want everything to be easy!

Mm, so true! Kids these days are soft and weak.

Yes, they are.

[landlord] You tell me more about how kids have it these days.

Well, they're always complaining.

Such complaining, right? Yes, yes. [chuckles]

When I was a child, we never complained.

And we used to sleep on rocks with thorn bushes for blankets.

-Ah, tell me more... Yes. -[flirtatious laugh]

It's working. We're going to get to keep the keep the garage!

[laughing] This is crazy.

But tell me, how do you feel about... tropical islands?

I've always wanted to live on one.

[♪ tropical music]

♪ I finally live on tropical island ♪

♪ Cos I found the love of my life! ♪

♪ I'm the love of his life! ♪

But guys, if they run away to a tropical island, we still lose the garage.

Agh! After a series of nail-biting ups and downs,

our plan is ultimately just a down, down, downer!

But Ms. Vanthrax is going away, so half the plan worked - my half!

-[Tom] Good for you, Ginger. -[Ginger] Ugh.

I'm going to regret this!

-Oh! -Take that, Vanthrax!

Ginger! I don't know what you were thinking,

but you've just arrowed yourself into a week's detention.

Oh, no, a week's detention?

Well, I guess I deserve it for being rambunctious. Wait a minute!

♪ You can't give me detention ♪

♪ You're going to be on a tropical island! ♪

[giggles]

Oh. I'm sorry, handsome.

I can't leave this town when everything I love is here.

Specifically, I mean many children that need to be punished.

I understand. In that case...

I'm not selling.

-I can't leave this remarkable woman. -Woo-hoo!

-Yes! All right! -You did it, Ginger!

-You saved the garage! -Watch out!

You're about to get detention from a beautiful lady!

[chuckles]

-And after that, dinner? -I'd like that.

And I hope you like third grade, cos you're never leaving it!

[Ginger screams]

Remember my sacrifice!

Wow. That was one brave kid.

[finishes with flourish]

Voilà!