Happy Town/Transcript

(The CEO is in his office with Darren.)

CEO: Soon my plan to become mayor and destroy Tom and Ben Enterprises will be complete. (cackles)

Darren: Um, uncle? Don't you remember what just happened?

(The scene cuts to a flashback from Vote for Tom!)

Darren: Tom had a secret system to become mayor but when it was stolen by you, it all came down to the Mayor Factor competition. And you did not win. Tom won.

CEO: I know, but it's not fair! I want to be mayor!

(The CEO kicks his chair and falls over)

CEO: Ow! Now my kicking leg hurts. This is the worst day of my whole life!

(The CEO cries and throws a tantrum while Darren closes the door and sighs)

(theme song)

(Two people are about to kiss at Jerry's when Ginger peeks in the window. Ginger then enters.)

Ginger: Everybody, remain seated. No sudden moves! I'm doing a security sweep for the new mayor. (goes over to Wesley) Sir, do you mind telling me why you aren't eating that soup?

Wesley: I'm waiting for it to cool down.

Ginger: Sir, I'm gonna need you to eat that soup!

(Wesley blows the soup and then sips the soup as steam comes out of his ears)

(Ginger opens the door for Tom as he walks in)

Ginger: All clear!

(Tom enters.)

Tom: Thanks, Ginger. I don't really need security. Ha!

(Tom poses)

Ginger: Ha!

(Tom poses again)

Tom: Check that guy over there.

Ginger: I'm on it!

(Ben enters Jerry's)

Ben: Now, let's get down to business!

Tom: Bah, bah, bah. Way ahead of you. We have to decide when I'm supposed to wear my mayor sash and when I should probably wear my mayor button.

Ben: That's not what I meant by business. I'm talking (pulls out a piece of paper) about the minor civic infrastructure issues that urgently need to be deal with.

Tom: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Look, (Tom takes the piece of paper from Ben and throws it away) I don't know what those words mean. But I do know that being mayor is about wearing sashes, cutting ribbons, and making sure everyone is happy, which they are.

Rhonda: I'm not happy, Mr. Mayor. I'm tired, my shows weren't on last night, and earlier today, I stepped on a bee.

Tom: Sounds like a job for Mayor Tom. Let's see that foot. Hmmm.

(Tom looks at Rhonda's foot.)

Ben: Tom, no! Rhonda's complaints and feet have nothing to do with a mayor's responsibilities.

Rhonda: Oh yeah, you're probably right. Besides, no one is really happy, I mean,

(Scene shows dishwasher blowing on his finger)

Rhonda: Joe the dishwasher has a hangnail,

(Scene shows a woman screaming and slamming her laptop into the table.)

Rhonda: Lucy's laptop broke.

Lucy: (screams)

(Scene shows man hiding behind menu. He is wearing pink.)

Rhonda: Oh, and Marv put a red sock with all the whites and ruined his laundry.

Tom: I had no idea people were so unhappy. I have to do something about this. (clears throat) Citizens! I am your mayor and I want to put your simple minds at ease. I hereby promise that I will not rest until everyone in this town is happy. Yes, you heard that right! Until everyone is happy.

Ben: Tom, you can't promise that!

Tom: Oh, right. That's not a promise. That's a guarantee!

Ben: Oh, no!

Tom: Thank you, thank you. Now you can return to putting food in your mouths.

Ginger: You heard the mayor! Everybody back to lunch! (points to Wesley) That means you, sir.

(Wesley fans his tongue.)