Hank's New Job/Transcript

Ginger: (at the diner) I'm going to paint giant flames on my rocket because one time I had shoes with flames on them and I was the best runner at school that day.

Hank: Yeah, decorative flames are cool I guess, but the real secret to winning is fins. Plenty of extra fins.

Ginger: Fins? Are you sure?

Hank: Pretty sure. At least that's what I always notice whenever I look at my first place rocket, or my other first place rocket, or my dad's first place rocket, or my grandfather's first place rocket.

Ginger: Wow... Hank, can you help me win the Wooden Rocket Blastoff?

Hank: Well, yes, Ginger, I suppose I could help you win. But remember, winning the Blastoff takes teamwork, expensive power tools, and total focus if you wanna- (sees sundae and gasps)

Hank: What. Is. That?

[Theme song plays]

Rhonda: This sundae is called "All Or Nothing." If you can eat it all, it's free. If you can't, it's five hundred bucks.

Hank: Uh-huh. I heard free sundae. I'll take it!

Rhonda: Are you sure?

Hank: Rhonda, please. I've never had trouble finishing a dessert in my life.

Rhonda: It's your stomachache. (To the crowd) Attention, everyone. We got a challenger here for "All or Nothing."

[Crowd cheers]

Hank: Huh, challenge, yeah right. This will be easy-peasy icy-creamsy. [takes a scoop] Whoa, what kind of ice cream is this?

Rhonda: It's from a special super-condensed milk.

[Hank takes a bite and his stomach inflates]

Hank: That's rich. Alright, I'm full.

Rhonda: Thank you for dining with us today. Your total will be... um... five hundred bucks.

Hank: Five hundred? Here's the thing. I don't have that much money with me, or in the bank...

Rhonda: Then, here's the thing. You're the new dishwasher. Take your sponge. Name it. Love it. And learn how to use it.

Hank: Wait, did I just get a job? I don't want a job, how did I get a job?

Rhonda: The last dishwasher quit and this is way easier than hiring a replacement.

Ginger: What about building my rocket?

Hank: We'll start as I get home from my job. Which I'm just starting. Which I'm not sure how I got.

Rhonda: Oh, that's sweet. Now get to work.

[cutscene at garage]

Angela: Wow, Ginger, that's a really cool design. Um, but isn't that too many fins?

Ginger: Or maybe it's not enough fins. I don't know. When's Hank getting home.

Angela: That's weird. He should be home by now.

Ben: [looking at empty couch] Huh! Um, hmm. With Hank gone, and his spot available, it's actually possible to select a TV program. I can't even remember the last time I held a remote control.

Tom: Well, turn it on.

Ben: [turns on TV] (sighs) Bongo & McGillicuddy. I'm not watching this stupid show.

Tom: Come on, Ben. Give it a chance. It's funny.

Ben: Sure, why not. It will be interesting to study the lowbrow comedy that amuses Hank.

Bongo (on TV): Okay, McGillicuddy, today's the day we finally arrest those no-good banana thieves.

McGillicuddy: Eee ooo!

Bongo: No, you can't eat the evidence! (Tom and Ben laughs)

Ben: Oh, Cuddy. An orangutan working on a banana crime? The comedy possibilities are infinite. It practically writes itself.

Hank: (comes in tired) Hello, everybody.

Ginger: Hank, finally! Look at my design.

Hank: Yeah, that's great.

Ginger: Hank, look! Look, Hank! You are not looking! Haaank!

Angela: Hank, have you been washing dishes this whole time?

Hank: Yeah, look. My fingers are all pruney, I'm exhausted. (climbs the stairs and lies down on a chest) Okay, good enough.

Ginger: Get up! We have to make my rocket!

Hank: Okay, we will. Just give me one second to- (falls asleep)

Ginger: Hank! Wake up! Hank?

[fast forwards to 5AM and Hank wakes up]

Hank: [at the diner] Oh yeah! Uh... [finds several large stacks of plates and sighs](after all dishes and tables were cleaned) Rhonda, I think I'll head home early today. Okay?

Rhonda: Oh no, you won't.

Hank: Oh, I have to. I promised Ginger I'd help him build a rocket.

Rhonda: The dishwasher can't leave until all the dishes are washed.

Hank: But I did wash all the... (Rhonda pulls out a large bin of plates)

Rhonda: Back to work! (Hank faints)

[Back to the garage]

McGillicuddy: Eee oo aah ooo ooo!

Bongo: Why am I upset? Because a giant rubber mallet is not authorizes police equipment!

McGillicuddy: Ooo oo aah oo eee!

Bongo: McGillicuddy, you are a piece of work. (Tom and Ben laughs)

Tom: Bongo...

Ben: Tom, I'm laughing because their working relationship is like a comedic exaggeration of ours!

Tom: Yeah, I know! I'm totally McGillicuddy, and you're totally Bongo.

Ben: Totally! Okay, I admit it. I had the wrong idea about this show. It's fun, relatable, quality entertainment.

[Hank enters]

Ben: Hey, Hank! Have you seen this episode of Bongo & McGillicuddy with the giant rubber mallet?

Hank: [groans] Can I have one minute to myself before you bombard me with a million questions? Is that so much to ask?

Ben: Oh, yeah, whatever you want, Hank.

Hank: [sees dirty dishes] Look at this place. What did you guys even do all day?

Ben: You know, this and that. Watched some TV, took a nap, watched some more TV, took a longer nap.

Hank: Well, it must be nice. I wash dishes all day, and now I come home and I get to wash more dishes.

Tom: It's like three dishes. I'll do it.

Hank: No, you'll do it wrong and I'll need to fix it. Just forget it.

Ben: Ha ha, alright.

Ginger: Hank, the Wooden Rocket Blastoff is tomorrow. We have to make a rocket now.

Hank: [sighs] Rockets don't get the dishes clean, Ginger.

Ginger: All you ever do is wash dishes.

Hank: That's it. Go to your room! You've got it too easy, that's your problem.

Ginger: I don't even live here.

Hank: No back-talk!

Angela: Okay, let's go, Ginger. Hank's had a very, very long day. [to Hank] Look at what you're doing to this house. You're not the man I occasionally hang out with. Oh...

Tom: I've never seen Hank so grumpy.

Ben: If you say so, Tom. [laughs and falls off couch]

Tom: [walks over to Hank] Hank, we need to talk.

Hank: I'm sorry, Tom, I'm going to need to reschedge. I have these quarterly dish soap reports to fill out by tomorrow.

Angela: No, we need to talk now.

Hank: Oh, here we go.

Tom: Since you took this job, it's like you don't have any time to spend with the people you care about. Like us.

Hank: Listen, I am under enough pressure at work without you two piling on.

Angela: Hank, there's always going to be dishes that need cleaning. But there's never going to be another chance to help Ginger win the Wooden Rocket Blastoff.

Hank: Maybe you're right. You know what, I'm gonna- [gets call] It's work. I gotta take this. [on the call] Yep, go for Hank. Well, the dishes aren't going to dry themselves. You know what, get the towels on the phone and tell them it is my way or the highway!

Angela: [sighs] What are we going to do? This job is really bad for Hank.

Tom: Yeah, and it's upset the delicate balance of our workplace.

Angela: So, how can we get him to remember what's really important?

Tom: [looks at sketch] I think I have an idea. Blastoff!

[at the diner]

Tom: [to Hank] I think you missed a spot.

Hank: Hey, Tom. Let me get you a menu. Table for one?

Tom: Nah, we're just going to take a quick bite then give Ginger's rocket a test launch. You know, just before the big Blastoff.

Hank: The rocket's built, huh?

Tom: Yeah, come on. I'll show it to you.

Hank: Hey, Ginger. You built a rocket all by yourself? Let's see it. (sees Ginger's pink rocket and gasps)

Ginger: She (Angela) helped me.

Angela: What do you think?

Hank: It's not a... It's more of a... It's not that it's, it's just uh... how do I say this?

Angela: What? Spit it out.

Hank: Well first of all it's very pink! Pink is the slowest color in the rainbow! Everybody knows that. And look at the base!

Angela: What about it?

Hank: Is there some kind of fin shortage I'm not aware of?

Angela: Oh, it needs fins?

Hank: Yes, it needs fins!

Ginger: Can we fix it, Hank?

Hank: I don't know, but we have to try something.

Rhonda: Hank, get over here! This totally solidified oatmeal is not gonna scrape itself from its bowl!