The Incredible Super-Fan/Transcript

(Location: Garage)

Bongo: Let's stop a crime now, huh?

Ginger: Oh.

Tom: Whoo~

Ben: I've never been a fan of the Bongo & McGillicudy show, but their new mobile game rules!

Angela: Um...

Tom: Hm...

Ben: Get it? "Rules?" Because it's a game about law enforcement.

Ginger: Stop ruining it, Ben! This is the best app I ever played this week.

Ginger: My perp confessed! I just leveled up to bicycle cop! Whoo! Huh! Yeah! Oh!

Angela: I love how you can make your own character. I'm playing as Jackie, a no-nonsense lady of law who hates crime, and nonsense.

Ben: Ooh, don't mess with Jackie!

Tom: Wait, I just realized something. If we're loving this game, imagine how Hank, the world's biggest Bongo & McGillicuddy fan feels. This must be the best day of his life!

Ginger: Yeah, it must be!

Hank: (Suddenly enters) Ahhh! This is the worst day of my life! Have you seen this new game? It's an insult! A joke! A slap in the face to our cartoon boys in blue!

Angela: Really? We all love it.

Tom: Yeah.

Angela: It's fun.

Hank: It's not fun, it's wrong!

Hank: The shape of the police station is wrong. The rookie ranking system is wrong. And McGillicuddy's accent, it's ridiculous and also wrong!

Bongo: Let's stop a crime now, huh?

Hank: Argh!

Tom: I guess we didn't notice all that. We just thought anything with Bongo & McGillicuddy in it has gotta be good. Right?

Hank: Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! (goes upstairs, screams)

[Theme song]

(Location: Hank's room)

Hank: Ugh! "Five stars, this game rocks." Oh, what do they know? Again, "five stars."

Hank: Ugh! Why can't they see how much better the show is? (Turns on TV)

Bongo: We did it, McGillicuddy! We made a cake to suprise the Chief on the anniversary of his first collar.

McGillicuddy: (hoots)

Bongo: (laughs) Ain't that the truth. Sometimes if you want something done right, you just have to do it yourself. (winks)

Hank: Oh... Bongo you are so right! I have to do it myself! And I think I know just what "it" myself is going to do...

 (Location: park) 

Bongo: Let's stop a crime now, huh?

Hank: Attention everyone! Do not play the Bongo & McGillicuddy mobile game!

Old Lady: Why not? I love that app!

Hank: You're playing a bad game! But don't worry, I have a better one. The only game that stays true to everyone's favorite TV cops. Bongo & McGillicuddy's Tabletop Adventure Game! You see how fun this is? Oh, landed on a Give Me Your Badge space. That means I can stop playin' by the rules!

Man: Boring!

Surfer Driver: This one's lame! The phone game is great!

Hank: No! The game's all wrong! That's the whole point! You don't even care!

Woman: It's just a game.

Hank: Just a-- No, it's not! Bongo and McGillicuddy are my friends! Bongo and McGillicuddy are real!

(all laughing)

Hank: Stop laughing. I'm serious! Bongo is real! McGillicuddy is real! My friendship with them is real! (echoing) Real, real, real... Ah... (Hank chuckles)

Ginger: I love this game! Yes! I just arrested a smuggler and then bought his speedboat at a police auction.

Tom: I've got to catch up to you. I forgot to get a warrant and lost ten badges.

Hank: Attention. It is I, the Super Fan!

Ginger: What?

Hank: Get it? Super Fan. Multiple meanings.

Ben: That's Hank!

Hank: My message is simple-- Say goodbye to your precious Bongo & McGillicuddy mobile game. Because at 6:00 tonight, it's game over... forever!

(all exclaiming)

(Hank laughing)

(Hank screaming)

(Hank groaning)

(Hank screaming excitedly)

Angela: What is Hank thinking?

Ginger: I know, why wouldn't he edit out that last part?

Tom: We have to stop him! Hmm.

Ben: But how? We don't know where he is, or where's he going, and we don't have any way to find him!

Tom: That's easy! We just have to... Huh? I don't know. Usually Hank is the one who deals with the crime stuff.

Ginger: In the game, if a case is too tough you can ask Bongo and McGillicuddy for advise.

Tom: I mean, if Bongo and McGillicuddy were here, they'd know what to do. Too bad they're not. and never will be.

(knock on door)

Bongo: Hello, citizens! We're a couple of undercover cops. And as we patrolled this precinct, we couldn't help but perceive your predicament.

Tom: Have we met? You look familiar...

Bongo: No, no, we're out-of-town cops. I'm Morgan, and this is Brad.

McGillicuddy: (hoots)

Bongo: (grunts) (chuckles) So what do you say we offer you's a bit of police assistance and, uh, get hunting for your friend?

Tom: That's exactly what we needed! Come on, everyone. Let's investigate!

Ginger: Huh?

Bongo: Backdrop. Camera. Script.

Angela: Hmm.

Bongo: Now to your civilian untrained eye this probably looks like nothing but to me, it's a clue. Hank must have recorded his video right here.

Ginger: If that's true, then somebody nearby might have seen something!

(doorbell rings)

Roy: How may I help you, officer?

Bongo: We're looking for your neighbor. Hank?

Roy: Oh, Hank! Yes, of course I saw him. He was flying into town. Laughing to himself and talking about needing a lot of electronics.

Bongo: Wait a minute. Electronics? They sell those at the electronics store! Yep, Hank was here all right. And he bought a suspicious supply of electronics...

Tom: But why is Ronnie's name on that receipt? (gasps) He must've used Ronnie's discount card!

Angela: That means Ronnie probably knows where he's headed! I'm getting the hang of this!

Bongo: Oh, yeah. Let's stop a crime now, huh?

Ginger: Guys, look!

(kids gasp)

Boy: Run, let's get out of here! Ah, let's go!

Ronnie: Please, I can't go back to jail!

Ginger: You've never been to jail, Ronnie.

Ronnie: My mom drove past a jail once and it was horrible.

Tom: Well, if you want to stay of trouble, you'd better start talking. Are you working with Hank?

Ronnie: (stuttering) He told me he'd use my card so I could get the points from his purchase if I showed him how to hook a magnet to a server.

Ben: What?

Tom: What?

Ginger: Hank is going to delete the game. I'm gonna delete his face!

Ronnie: I just wanted points! I've been saving up to get my own toaster for years!

Bongo: Quick, to the server district! Game's up, Hank!

Ben: This is where the game's data is stored.

(Ginger gasps)

Bongo: Hmm.

Ben: Hmm. (exclaims) Wait, wait, wait, there he is!

Hank: (laughs)

(timer beeps)

Hank: Ha! You're too late! When this countdown ends, my mega-magnet will erase all these servers!

Bongo: Nice plan, Super Fan. But you forgot about one thing. Justice!

Hank: (grunts) (grunts)

Tom: Why are you doing this?

Hank: I have to do this! The only way to stop people from liking the game is the stop the game from existing!

Tom: Hank, why can't people like a thing even if you don't like it?

Hank: Because I know more about my favorite show than any of those other people!

(all exclaiming)

Hank: Ha-ha! The world will soon be a better place. All thanks to me, the Super Fan!

Ginger: You don't sound like a fan right now. You sound like a villain!

Hank: Wrong, Ginger. Wrong! I'm the hero in this story. And if they were here, Bongo and McGillicuddy would agree!

Bongo: That's not true!

(countdown beep continues)

Bongo: And I should know, Hank...

Hank: (grunts)

Bongo: Because I'm Bongo!

(Hank gasps)

Bongo: And he's McGillicuddy!

Hank: Bongo and McGillcuddy!

Tom: Bongo and McGillicuddy are real?

Bongo: Oh, we're real, all right. Real disappointed in our friend Hank.

Hank: Disapp-- What? I was just trying to protect you! This game gets it all wrong! Look!

Bongo: There's always time for pizza! Hank, that game might have changed a few details about us.

Hank: Yeah, a few zillion!

Bongo: You know what if didn't change? Our love of fighting crime and righting wrongs. Can you see that?

Hank: I... I thought I was helping. Oh, I can't believe I turned evil.

Angela: But you're not evil. You're Hank!

Tom: Yes!

Angela: And you can still fix this.

Hank: You're right. Server deletion order cancelled! Hmm.

(countdown beep continues)

Hank: (gasps) Oh-oh.

Ben: Without that remote, there's no way to stop the countdown! The servers are gonna be destroyed! This whole adventure was for nothing!

Hank: Not if I can help it!

(beep continues)

(Ginger gasps)

Ginger: Whoa!

Hank: (exclaiming) (grunting)

Ronnie: Whoa!

(Ronnie sighing)

Hank: No, no, no!

(Hank screaming)

(loud crash)

(Hank groans)

Hank: I stopped a crime now, huh?

Tom: Well, I'd never thought I'd say this, but... it's been nice meeting you, real Bongo and real McGillicuddy.

Ben: And before you return to your home... your reality, alternate, as it may be... I have a few quick questions regarding the scientific implications of your existence alongside ours. (clears throat) Given a construct of a... material universe...

Bongo: Classic Ben. Always being a nerd! But, time for us to go. Hey, anyone seen Hank?

Ginger: Hank! Your cartoon friends are leaving!

(Hank exclaiming)

Hank: Hang on, I want to earn bigger tires for my police plane.

Bongo: OK, I guess he's got more important things to do right now!

(all laughing)

Ben: Well...

Tom, Ben, and Angela: Huh?

Tom: Hmm.

Bongo: (laughing)

(outro music playing)

(Episode ends)