Ben's Digital Detox/Transcript

(Scene shows a museum flooding late at night. The scene focuses on a specific painting.)

(Scene cuts to the garage in the morning.)

Ben: (to the friends) Behold! The next great invention from Tom and Ben Enterprises!

(Ben holds up a cake, which has been poorly made and looks unappetizing.)

Angela: Is that a cake?

Ginger: Blech!

Ben: It certainly is. Since I'm not able to use tech thanks to this pesky anti-technology bracelet!

(The anti-technology bracelet beeps.)

Ben: Ugh. I'm developing lots of new skills, like baking.

Ginger: Did you get the recipe from a monster magazine? Ugh.

(The garage door opens.)

Ben: Huh?

(Tom is seen in spy attire sneaking into the garage. He carries a large object in a potato sack.)

Angela: What do you have there, Tom?

Tom: (nervously) Uh, heh.

Angela: Oh, but don't tell me if it's a present for me. Just wink.

Tom: (sighs and removes sack) This is the famous painting, Portrait of the Artist as a Squiggly Man, okay? It's priceless. See? (holds blank price tag) No price.

Ginger: That's famous art? It's so stupid! (takes out phone) Let me post a FastaPic so--

Tom: Ah, oh no, ah! (goes in front of painting) No one can know it's here. The town art museum flooded, and since I'm the mayor, I have to keep this safe, and it's a lot of pressure! (pants)

Ben: Fortunately, I have the antidote to stress. Cake! (holds up cake)

(all groan)

(theme song)

(Scene cuts to the driveway. Ben has many items hung up on clotheslines.)

Ben: I don't need technology to be useful.

(The bracelet beeps.)

Ben: Watch this, bracelet! I can be a laundry genius!

(A plunger falls on Ben's head. Ben falls. The items hung up all fall.)

(Scene cuts to Ben dusting a fish plaque.)

Ben: I can be a dusting master.

(Ben dusts Tom's face. Tom coughs.)

(Ben tries to dust the ceiling fan but he is sent spinning into the air.)

Ben: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

(Scene cuts to Ben washing dishes.)

Ben: I can be the most brilliant dishwasher in the whole-- (loses grip on plate) whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa whoa! No!

(The plate flies into the air and hits Tom's behind, narrowly missing the painting.)

Tom: Ah! Ah! Ben, watch it! Your lousy washing almost hurt the squiggly man.

(Ben whimpers.)

(Scene cuts to Ben carrying groceries with Angela.)

Angela: I'm glad you asked for my help. I never use tech, except when I make music, do shows, shoot videos, or check my phone.

Ben: Well, I hope this works. Right now, I'm useless without technology.

Angela: Well, let's see how you did in your first lesson: the grocery store.

Ben: Okay, check it out. I tried to shop until I dropped.

(The bottom of Ben's grocery bag rips. The groceries drop onto the floor.)

Ben: Whoa! Ah, ugh!

(Ben slips on a glass bottle.)

Ben: (screams)

(Ben falls and the glass bottle hits him on the head.)

Ben: Uh!

Angela: Yikes.

Ben: I've never been this low. It's a good thing no one in the science world can see me now. (sobs)

(Scene shows Mel and Flo across the street.)

Flo: ...willing to use photosynthesis.

Mel: Yes, but you're reckoning without the presence of...

Angela: Um, I don't to make a bad situation worse, but isn't that Mel and Flo, (Ben gasps) your enemies from the science world?

Flo: The geometrics of the trigonometry just...

Ben: (screams)

(Ben hides behind a mailbox, then behind a lamppost, then behind a dump truck.)

(The dump truck drives away and Ben is spotted by Mel and Flo.)

Flo: There you are, Ben.

Ben: Gah!

Flo: Were you trying to hide from us?

Mel: Not surprising, Ben. You're embarrassed about being kicked out of science and cannot bear our mockery. So...

Mel and Flo: (sings and dances) Loser! Loser! Loser, loser, loser! Loser! Loser, loser, loser!

Ben: Stop that! Stop it! I will have you know that I was not kicked out. I, uh... I got so rich from science that I left so others can be successful too.

Flo: Ugh, ridiculous. You're not rich.

Ben: That's... not... true! In fact, the squiggly man painting was just delivered to the garage today! So obviously, I'm doing very well.

Flo: But that painting is priceless. It has no price.

Ben: They make exceptions for successes, (clears throat) like me. (walks away)

Mel: I told you we should have gone to a nursery to make fun of babies for not being able to count.

Ben: Ugh.

(Angela confronts Ben.)

Angela: (clears throat)

Ben: Guh.

(Scene cuts to Jeremy observing the Squiggly Man Painting.)

Jeremy: Hey, I think I was in a Petri dish with that guy once.

Tom: (hits Jeremy with broom) Get your slime away from the art! No offense.

Jeremy: Oh, no offense taken. I am very slimy.

(Ginger appears.)

Ginger: Guys! I filled water balloons with hot mustard. Let's do this thing! (prepares to throw balloons)

Tom: (takes balloons) No, don't do that!

Hank: (stretches leg) My muscles are cramping from watching TV all day. (does jumping jacks) Can we all run into things for a while?

(Hank runs into several objects, including the painting. Jeremy and Ginger join him in running around.)

Tom: (catches painting) Ah! No! What is wrong with you? Hey, listen up! (all stop running) (Tom stands on a chair.) Now, I have to keep this painting safe. If anything bad happens to it, I'll get in big, big trouble. Do you understand? Thank you. Now let's act like grownups- (chair falls off table) Whoa!

(A hamburger bun flies towards the painting from Tom's fall.)

Hank: (catches bun) Tom, be careful with this thing! Sheesh. (eats bun)

(Scene cuts to Ben in the streets.)

Ben: It was close, but I found a way to keep Mel and Flo off my back.

Angela: By telling them about the fancy painting Tom brought to the garage!

Ben: Okay, look, they were laughing and dancing. It was terrible!

Angela: Ben, this is a huge betrayal of Tom's trust. He doesn't want anyone to know about the painting! You have to tell Mel and Flo to keep it a secret.

Ben: But then they'll think I'm not a famous art collector!

Angela: You're not! Go, now!

(Ben runs away.)

(Scene cuts to Ben sneaking into Mel and Flo's lab.

Ben: Don't worry, bracelet. I'm not here to use tech. I just had to explain to Mel and Flo-

(Mel and Flo are seen plotting a heist. Ben is eavesdropping.)

Flo: (refers to floor plan of garage) So these are the possible entrances to Tom and Ben's garage.

Mel: (points to various entry points) Entry points are here, here, here, here, and here. We'll heist the painting...

Ben: Gah!

Mel: ...and exit through here. (points to exit point) This will fund our research for years. (cackles)

Flo: It's funny. In a way, Ben is finally contributing to science. (cackles)

(Scene cuts to Ben running home.)

Ben: I've got to get home and warn Tom!

(Scene shows Tom staring nervously at painting)

Hank: Tom, you're too stressed. Tell you what. Let's all go out and see a movie.

Tom: (paranoid) No, can't go out. I have to protect the painting.

Hank: No one even knows it's here, okay? Honestly, the biggest threat to that painting right now is us.

Ginger: Woo!

(Ginger is rope swinging. He brushes past the painting. Tom catches the painting, but slips on a broom and falls backward onto the painting.)

Tom: (dizzy) Gah! Uh. Oh. (puts down painting) You know what? You might be right. I am too stressed out. Let's, let's go.

(Scene shows Ben waiting for a traffic light.)

Ben: Co- come on! Change, light, hurry!

(The light turns green.)

(Meanwhile, Tom, Ginger, Jeremy and Hank form a congo line and leave the garage.)

Tom, Hank, Ginger, Jeremy: (singing) Going to a movie! Going to a movie! Going to a movie!

(They close the garage door.)

(Ben arrives to the garage.)

Ben: Uh! No, where did they go? I have to call them! (takes phone)

(Ben is electrocuted.)

Ben: Uh, gah! Ah! Stop it, bracelet! This is an emergency! (tries to call)

(Ben is electrocuted again.)

Ben: (screams and faints)

(Ben is shown in an abstract location. The squiggly man in the painting talks to Ben.)

Squiggly Man: Protect me, Ben! It's up to you!

Ben: Ah! I can't! I'm useless without tech. Oh, I'm only good at science.

Squiggly Man: But don't you see? Everything is science.

(The man turns into a loaf of bread.)

Squiggly Man: Baking is chemistry,

(The loaf of bread disappears and leaves dust.)

Squiggly Man: dusting is physics,

(Waves appear.)

Squiggly Man: and dishwashing is water science.

Ben: Water science?

Painting: The point is, the power to protect me is in you!

(Ben wakes up.)

Ben: The art hallucination is right! I can do this!

(Ben brings the painting upstairs.)

(Ben rigs the door with a catapult.)

(Ben spills a bag of marbles on the floor.)

(Ben chuckles.)

(Ben puts rakes on the stairs.)

(Finally, Ben rigs the top floor with a tripwire.)

(Mel and Flo approach the garage.)

Flo: (knocks on door) Hello?

(Ben hides behind door)

Flo: Are you there? It's your good friends, Flo and Mel!

(Ben looks in a mirror that shows Mel and Flo in front of the door. Mel is holding a telekinetic gun.)

Mel: We have some new inventions we wanted to show you. Let us in.

Ben: Go away!

Mel: There's nothing you can do to stop us.

Ben: We'll see about that.

(Mel breaks off the door handle using the ray gun. He and Flo enter, only to be hit with Ben's catapult trap. Balloons filled with glitter are launched into their faces.)

Mel: Ah! Glitter! (wipes glasses)

Flo: (wipes glasses) My eyes! I need those to read the sides of flasks and beakers!

Mel: It takes more than glitter to stop a great scientist, Ben. It's pointless to-- (slips on marbles) whoa!

(They both slip on the marbles and fall.)

Ben: (laughs) Pointless is right, (holds marble) because marbles are round. They have no point! (throws marble at Mel)

Mel: (growls)

(They run up the stairs, only to step on the rakes and be hit by them.)

Mel: Gah!

Flo: Oh!

(They groan and gasp, dizzy. They crawl up the stairs.)

Mel: (spots painting) Oh, my painting! (runs towards the painting)

(They trip on the tripwire. Coconuts fall from the ceiling.)

Flo: Oh...

Mel and Flo: (screams)

(The coconuts fall on them.)

Ben: (giggles) Nice try, but Ben came to this fight prepared.

(Both emerge from the coconuts using a jetpack.)

Mel: And so did we! (cackles)

(Mel takes the painting using the telepathic gun.)

Ben: No! Stop! (takes feather duster) You stay back!

Flo: Or what? You'll dust us? Oh, face it, loser. Technology always wins, and you don't have any.

Ben: (to himself) (observes ceiling fan) Dusting is physics.

Ben: No, but I do have science!

(Ben puts his feather duster into the ceiling fan. He spins in the air and hits Mel and Flo.)

(They crash into the oven. Mel and Flo cough as smoke appears.)

Ben: And baking is chemistry. And dishwashing is water science!

(Ben turns on the kitchen tap and manipulates the water so that it shoots onto Mel and Flo. Their jetpacks malfunction.)

Mel: It's called hydrology, you rube!

(Mel and Flo's jetpacks send them flying out the door. They scream.)

Ben: (waves goodbye) Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

(Tom, Hank, Ginger and Jeremy return from the movies.)

Tom: (looks at cake in trash) Ah.

Hank: (opens door) There, you see, Tom? Your painting was completely safe this whole time. It's just Ben in here making another cake.

Tom: Yeah. Nice progress, Ben.

Ben: Thank you. Turns out I don't need advanced tech to be useful. Making cakes, protecting art, kicking bad guy butt, it's all part of being... (throws cherries onto cake) ...a master scientist.

(The squiggly man winks at the camera.)

(credits)