Corn Heads/Transcript

( The episode begins in the garage )

[ Drumroll ]

Hank: (clears throat) As President of Movie Night, I want to welcome you to a perfect evening of entertainment and wonder !

Tom: (laughs) All right !

Ginger: I can't believe no one voted for me to be President of Movie Night.

Tom: Come on, picking Hank was a no-brainer. He's the master of movies. He'll get every little detail right.

Hank: Yup, I got every little detail right ! We'll start at eight o'clock sharp, the best time for movie viewing. ( Points to clock ) I've lowered the lights to 37%, the perfect dimness for optimal screen focus. And for the ultimate movie snack we have...

( He grabs and opens the pot, but it's empty. )

Hank: ( gasps ) Oh, no, no ! No, I'm a failure !

Angela: Wait, is something wrong ?

Hank: Aw ! We're out of popcorn ! ( he turns the pot to the side and drops a popcorn ) Movie Night is ruined ! No ! (he goes away)

he goes away)

Ginger: Ha ! Now, I get to be president of-- Aw man, he took the remote !

( Main theme )

( The next morning )

Angela: Whoa ! Who's this hard-working farmer and what did you do it Hank ?

Hank: Angela, the tragic events of last night really opened my eyes. If we can run out of popcorn once, we can run out of popcorn again ! So, I'm growing my own corn.

Angela: Oh ! That will be so nice to have at Movie Night - in a few months.

Hank: A few months ? No way ! These will be fully grown by tomorrow !

Angela: But that's not how farming works. Unless you're planning to--

Ben: I found it ! If you need instant super-growing results nothing like my experimental fertilizer, SuperGrow.

Hank: Great ! Science me up, Ben !

Angela: No ! Put that away ! Plants should only be grown with natural things, like sun and dirt and smiles. Like this !

( She lies on the floor and smiles at the plant, with Ben and Hank watching behind her )

Ben: That's not doing anything.

Angela: Wait for it ! ( Giggles )

Ben: Hank, use the SuperGrow.

Angela: No ! If you mess with nature, there could be terrible consequences !

Hank: Oh. All right ￼, Angela, you win ! I want my popcorn to be natural. ( He crosses his fingers behind him, lying ) and you were louder.

Angela: You're make the right decision.

( she goes into the garage and waves to them )

Hank: So, I'll just wait here, then... Nice and pacient... No need to rush to--

( She opens the door and waves to them again and enters )

Hank: I can't take the watching anymore ! Give me that SuperGrow. ( Uses SuperGrow in the plant ) Now ! Now ! Now !

( The plant begins to grow, and grow... )

Hank: Wow !

( Creaking )

( Ben and Hank start to get scared and hug each other )

( After... )

Angela: Ah ! What ?

( A cornfield appears in the yard and Hank just watches. He holds a corn )

Angela: Hank, did you use the SuperGrow ?

Hank: Now, don't you worry about that, friend. Just sit for a spell and let old farmer Hank fetch you a treat.

Angela: Get that away from me ! Science is for phones and space ships, not food !

Hank: Now, Now, that there ain't bad corn, It's good corn !

Angela: And stop talking like a farmer ! Ew !

Hank: ( gobbling )

Angela: ( slowly moves away ) Uh...

Hank: Mmm ! That corn is gooood corn...

Angela: ( getting into the garage ) Ben, I told you not to let Hank use the-- ( gasps )

( Another cornfield, but inside the garage )

Angela: What is all this ?

Ben: Why, this is a-farmin' ! We're plantin' a whole passel of this here corn, see ? ( gobbling ) Such good corn it is.

Angela: Uh...

Ginger: Good day, Miss Angela. ￼We sure would be honored if you'd sample some of our vittles. Our vittles are corn.

( She pulls away, then screams. She looks back and sees Tom )

Angela: Oh, Tom ! Thank goodness it's you.

Tom: Of course it's me. Are you Ok ?

Angela: I'm fine. But something's wrong with Hank, Ben and Ginger. And there's corn all over the place !

Tom: Oh, that ? Yeah, I can explain. Follow me.

( They climb the stairs )

Angela: Oh. That's a relief. I was worried something terrible was going on.

Tom: Well, you'll never have to worry again, Angela. Because what's going on is actually...

( Tom puts on his hat )

Tom: ... Wonderful !

( Thunderclap )

( A mutant corn appears )

Angela: ( Screams )

Tom: This here's the Mother Cob. Ain't she a beaut ?

Angela: Oh, no ! You're one of them.

Tom: Join us, Angela. All it takes is eatin' just a little bit of corn.

Angela: No.

Tom: Corn.

Angela: No, Tom.￼

Tom: ( points to Angela and the mutant corn goes to Tom's shoulder ) Corn !

Angela: Nooooo !