The Mystery of the Pyramid/Transcript

(Scene shows a pyramid in the desert. The friends are walking towards the pyramid.)

Tom: I have got a bad feeling about this.

Angela: Oh, seriously, Tom? (laughs) I'm about to do a concert next to an ancient desert pyramid! What could possibly be bad about it?

Tom: How about how this was set up by Ricky de Luna? He does not like you.

(Scene shows a flashback from Pirates of Love. Ricky de Luna prepares to kiss Angela, but Angela pushes him off the ship.)

Angela: Yeah, he acted like a jerk, but now, he wants to apologize. I'm not going to not accept an apology, Tom. That's just not me.

(Hank is holding a basket.)

Hank: Plus, he gave us these awesome gift baskets! Ooh, there's gumballs in these.

Ginger: Dibs on a green one! Gimme! Give it!

Hank: (holds basket away from Ginger) No, too slow!

(The MC appears on the stage.)

MC: Whooop! Yo, Angela! Check out this sweet stage slide for the show!

(The MC points to a ramp on the side of the stage.)

MC: This concert's gonna be beyond g-g-g-g-g-gravity!

Angela: (laughs) Yeah, it is!

Tom: Wait, the MC is MCing this? But you had that very public fight with Ricky, remember?

(Scene cuts to a flashback at a talent show. The MC appears onstage, and Ricky is on the side of the stage.)

MC: And now, for our main musical event, give it up for Ricky de Luna, aka Slicky! He told me not to give him a nickname, but I'm doing it, y'all! Slicky! Slicky! Slicky!

(Ricky de Luna facepalms, embarrassed.)

(Flashback ends and the scene returns to the pyramid.)

MC: Turns out, the dude really hates nicknames, but now, he's obviously trying to patch things up between us.

(Victoria Payne appears.)

Victoria Payne: Well, well, it's Angela and the MC, my least-favorite performers. You'd better do a good show tonight, because my thumb is ready to down.

Tom: Wha- music critic Victoria Payne?! You said Ricky's last album sounded like rocks in a blender. Now, am I the only one here who thinks it's just a little bit weird that Ricky put together a concert with all of his enemies?

Angela: Relax, Tom. Ricky is trying to change, and he's doing it with an all-star concert blowout!

(The concert's lights turn off.)

(The MC screams as he is dragged away by an unseen force.)

(The lights come back on and the MC is missing. A floppy disk is in the spot where the MC disappeared.)

Ben: Oh, no! The MC is... gone!

(Hank's gift basket is empty.)

Hank: And so are my gumballs! Who did this?

(Ginger is seen chewing.)

(Theme song plays)

Tom: MCs don't just disappear. There must be something going on here and I'm gonna-

Ginger: Yeah, there is! Check this out! (points to sign)

Angela: (reads sign) "Welcome to the desert tomb concert hall, home to rocking music and shocking mummy curses."

Hank: A mu-mu- a mu-mu-mu-mummy curse?! That's so scary, I can't even react to it with a real word. I have to make one up! Zonks! No. Zorks? No. Zooks?

Ginger: This is all the evidence I need! The MC was taken by a mummy, which means we're going to have to fight a mummy! (starts walking) I'll lead the way-

(Ben picks up Ginger.)

Ben: Easy, Ginger. I'm sure there's a logical explanation for this that doesn't include mythical baddies.

Tom: Yeah, especially when there's a not-mythical baddie right here. (points to poster of Ricky de Luna)

(Scene cuts to the backstage area of the stage. The friends look for Ricky de Luna.)

Tom: Ricky! Show yourself, you creep!

(Tom opens the door to the dressing room and enters.)

Tom: You can't hide, Ricky! We know you stole the MC!

(A shirt in the clothing rack moves. Tom searches the clothing rack to find Ricky hiding.)

Ricky: (screams) Oh, please don't hurt me! Oh, Tom. Thank goodness. I thought you were... the mummy!

(A loud crash is heard.)

Hank: Ooh! Sorry. I tripped over this large drum.

Tom: Okay, Ricky, cut the act, will ya? We know you're behind this. You invited all of your musical enemies to the desert so you could get rid of them.

Ricky: No, you must believe me! I didn't think the mummy was real either! But then, I found that on my mirror!

(Ricky points to a drawing of a cobra on the mirror.)

Ginger: That's definitely an ancient mummy symbol.

Ricky: Yes! I hoped it was a drawing made by one of my beautiful fans, but now, I know it was a warning about the curse... of the mummy!

(Another crash is heard. Ricky screams. Hank had tripped over a drum again.)

Hank: Oops. Sorry.

Ricky: (begs) Protect me! I only wanted to do a concert to apologize for being such a big jerk. I wouldn't have done it if I knew this place had a monster!

Ben: Ricky, surely, you know you're talking about a silly, made-up-

(The lights go off. Ricky screams. The lights go back on, and Ricky is missing, leaving behind a strip of paper.)

Angela: Jeepers! Ricky de Luna is gone!

Ginger: (picks up strip of paper) And something left mummy rags.

Tom: I'm officially creeped out, now. (sighs) Could it be that Ricky was telling the truth?

Ben: Let's be logical. There's someone here who disliked both the MC and Ricky.

Angela: Ben, it wasn't me!

Ben: I'm talking about Victoria Payne.

Tom: If Victoria's up to something, we have to find out what. Let's split up, gang!

(Scene cuts to the side of the pyramid. The friends eavesdrop Victoria, who is on the phone.)

Victoria: (on phone) Yeah, yeah, everything is getting dealt with. Soon, this will all be over.

Tom: That sounds suspicious. What is she talking about?

(Tom and Angela hide behind a pillar, only to find that Victoria disappeared.)

(Scene cuts to one of the corridors of the pyramid. Ben searches the area.)

Ben: Huh, hmm, hmm.

(Ben finds a long strip of bandages similar to the mummy rag found in the dressing room.)

Ben: Is this a clue I smell?

(Ben follows the strip to a door. He finds that the "mummy rags" was a from a roll of toilet paper.)

Ben: No, it was something else!

(Scene cuts to another location in the pyramid, where Hank and Ginger are.)

Hank: No sign of Victoria.

Ginger: (turns on flashlight) But I do see more of those gift baskets Ricky was giving out. There might be gumballs in them!

Hank: Ginger, will you take this seriously? We have a mystery to solve.

(Ginger runs to the gift baskets and eats the gumballs in them.)

Ginger: Mmm.

(Scene cuts to Ben, who is outside at the sunset.)

Ben: Well, that went nowhere. Though I did find an extra bathroom.

(The friends are also outside. Angela finds a golden statue of a cobra on the pyramid.)

Angela: Huh? Look at this! It's just like the symbol in Ricky's room!

Tom: This must be a clue! Everyone, be careful. We don't want to set off any trap- (gasps)

(Tom accidentally pushes a block of the pyramid. The block moves inwards, but nothing happens.)

Tom: Phew!

(A trapdoor opens underneath them. The friends fall.)

(They land in a burial chamber, decorated with Egyptian paintings on the walls.)

Angela: I think you set off a trap, Tom.

Ben: (spots rake) Hmm, why would there be a rake in here? That doesn't fit the "ancient desert tomb" theme.

Ginger: Ben, who cares about a dumb rake? We've landed in the mummy's chamber!

Angela: Maybe this is where Ricky and the MC went. (shouts to Ricky and MC) Are you here? Call out "yes" if you are, and "no" if you're not!

(A roar is heard, coming from a corridor. The friends scream.)

Ben: Calm down! That sound is merely air, passing through tiny cracks in the pyramid's ancient stone wall.

(Footsteps are made, but the friends do not hear.)

Ginger: Uh, you believe in pyramid air all you want, but I know a ghoul when I hear one, and that was definitely a-

(The mummy appears. Hank is the first to see it.)

Hank: Oh, mu-mu-mu-mu-

Ginger: Mummy! Let's do this! Everybody punch his ancient face!

(The mummy roars and tries to seize Ginger. Ginger screams.)

(The friends run away from the mummy. Ben hits his head on the rake. Ben gives the rake to the mummy.)

Hank: Zoinks, the mummy is real! Ooh, "zoinks!" That's the word I was looking for.

(The mummy roars behind them. The friends scream and continue running into the tunnels.)

Tom: Quick, into those dark tunnels!

(The friends take a left turn and they are in the dark, with only their eyes visible. They end up falling into another trapdoor, escaping the mummy.)

Ginger: I told you it was a mummy. I would've beat it, but I wanted to protect you. You know how I am.

Hank: Yeah, sure, Ginger.

Angela: But, if that's really a mummy, then who was Victoria suspiciously calling on the phone?

(Victoria appears.)

Victoria: I was calling my driver so I could get out of here. No concert review is worth a curse, no matter how quotable my quips may be. Later!

(Victoria leaves through the curtains, but the lights turn off, she screams, and disappears by the time the lights come back on.)

Tom: Aaand the mummy got her.

Angela: This isn't fair! The joy of hundreds of music-lovers is being messed-up by one lousy monster!

Tom: I knew this concert was bad news. Let get outta here.

Hank: Way ahead of ya, pal. Later! (starts leaving)

Ginger: (stops Hank)Don't you guys know anything?! The mummy already saw us. No matter where we go, it'll follow and get us! Everybody knows that about mummies!

Ben: (sarcastically) Sure, everyone knows that! Mummies are real! Up is down! Science is fiction!

Ginger: Hm!

Angela: If we can't run, then we have to fight! We'll come up with a plan to put this mummy back in its tomb!

Hank: Oh, zoinks. (eats gumballs)

(Scene cuts to the stage. Tom creates a fake model of Angela using a mannequin. Over the mannequin is a cage, which Tom plans to use to capture the mummy.)

Angela: (sings in background)

You know that I like you!

 'Cause when it's me and you,

Dreams come true!

In sunny and bad weather...

(...)

Tom: Hey, real Angela, you did a great job making Mop Angela.

(The mummy sneaks behind Tom and Angela, but they do not notice.)

Angela: Thanks! Now, we should give Hank a sign when the mummy attacks.

(The mummy taps on Tom's shoulder. Tom mistakenly believes Angela tapped his shoulder.)

Tom: Like the one you just gave me?

Angela: What are you talking about?

Tom: Isn't that why you tapped me on the shoulder? To make me do that?

Angela: Uh, I didn't tap you, Tom.

Tom: Huh?

(Tom and Angela turn around and discover the mummy was behind him.)

(Tom and Angela scream. They run onstage, and the mummy chases them.)

Tom: Guys, get the rope!

(The friends try to apprehend the mummy all at once, but the mummy overpowers them. Hank, who was knocked over, spits a gumball at the stage slide. Angela gets an idea.)

Angela: (gasps) Yes! (runs to top of slide) Hey, mummy! Check me out over here, all not-cursed!

(The mummy walks toward Angela.)

Tom: Angela, what are you doing? Run!

(The mummy gets his foot stuck to the gum.)

Angela: No, Tom. I'm not gonna let some bad-brained bully ruin my show!

(The mummy reaches towards Angela. Angela pushes the mummy back. The mummy falls down the ramp and down the front steps. Its bandages are being unwrapped as he falls.)

Hank: Oh, zoinks! He's unravelling!

Ginger: Close your eyes! If you see his unwrapped mummy face, you'll go crazy!

(The mummy completely unravels, revealing Ricky de Luna underneath.)

Ricky: (dizzily) Ay, ay, ay!

Ginger: Uh, Ricky de Luna?

Tom, Hank, Ben: Ricky de Luna?!

(Scene cuts to inside the pyramid. Ricky de Luna is placed in handcuffs by a police officer.)

Tom: I was right all along! This whole concert was a trap so you could use a "mummy curse" to get rid of your music enemies. You drew that mummy symbol on your mirror, you used a rake to erase your footprints, and you pretended to be scared so we wouldn't suspect you.

Ricky: Ugh! It was a perfect plan, and I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling people who I specifically invited here!

Victoria Payne: Hey, Ricky, you're getting my worst review yet: twelve thumbs-down! A little help, guys?

(Angela, Ben, Ginger, Hank, and the MC puts their thumbs down. They, along with Victoria, have twelve thumbs-down total.)

Ricky: Oh, come on, that's harsh!

(Ricky is dragged away.)

MC: Later, Slicky! I'll think you'll need this to cool off that mad burn! Boo!

(The MC throws a carton of juice at Ricky. A crowd at the concert cheers.)

Angela: Right, the concert! Ugh, with all this mummy madness, I almost forgot I had to do a show!

Tom: You've got this, Angela. Now go make those people scream! But, you know, uh, happy screams. Not the terrified ones.

(Angela goes onstage.)

Angela: (sings)

You know that I like you!

So let's hang out together!

(Credits roll)