The Secret Life of Ms. Vanthrax/Transcript

(Ginger tells a story to the class with a flashlight. The scene shows the park as Ginger narrates. At the park, a monster emerges from a bush.)

Ginger: (narrates) So, when the evil shadow monster in the woods wakes again to feast on the joy of our townspeople, beware!

(The monster approaches a man. The man screams.)

Ginger: ...for his next victim could be you! (ends story and cackles)

(The class is frightened by the story.)

Ginger: (turns off flashlight) ...and thus concludes my report on the history of our great town!

(The class cheers and applauds Ginger.)

Ms. Vanthrax: Be quiet! All of you!

(The class stops.)

Ms. Vanthrax: (to Ginger) And, as for you, see me after class!

(The school bell rings. The class leaves, leaving Ginger behind.)

Ms. Vanthrax: How did you find out about the joy-sucking shadow monster in the woods?!

Ginger: What? I just made that stuff up!

Ms. Vanthrax: Tell me the truth now, or you're in trouble!

Ginger: But, Ms. V., the whole thing was just a silly story! Pinky swear!

Ms. Vanthrax: Oh, uh, but of course, it was. (laughs nervously) Forget everything I said. (opens door) You can go home.

Ginger: Yes! (notices) Wait, why are you acting so weird? (gasps) Is there really a monster?!

Ms. Vanthrax: Uh... if you won't go home... I will! (leaves)

Ginger: Mm-hm!

(Theme song plays)

(Scene cuts to the garage. Tom and Angela have one leg tied together. They are practicing a three-legged race.

Tom: No, no, no, no. The left leg, the left!

(Tom falls, causing Angela to fall with him.)

(Ben enters.)

Ben: Oh, no, are we being robbed?! (holds up hands) I surrender!

Tom: At ease, Ben. We're practicing to win the three-legged race at the carnival's Jamboree of Joy.

Angela: (gets up) Tom, let's try three-legged leaps!

(Ben is surprised when Hank walks from behind. He is wearing a hat with a smiley face on it. He is carrying a box of goods.)

Hank: Look what came in the mail! Our official joy-wear!

Ben: How exciting! I can't wait to see Ginger's smile when he first lays eyes on the churro juggler!

(Tom and Angela fall over, crashing into a stool.)

Tom: Ow! Speaking of Ginger, where is he?

(Scene cuts to a house. Ms. Vanthrax is seen leaving. Meanwhile, Ginger watches from a tree.)

Ginger: Ha!

(Ms. Vanthrax enters a car and drives away. Ginger follows with his bike.)

(Scene cuts to a back alley. Ms. Vanthrax enters a manhole into the sewer. Ginger follows.)

(Ginger follows Ms. Vanthrax. Ms. Vanthrax is seen climbing a ladder out of the sewer. Ginger climbs after her.)

(Ginger climbs to a trapdoor and opens it. He finds that he is in a cupboard. He opens the cupboard door and finds that he is back in the classroom.)

Ginger: (gasps) She went back to school?! No fair!

(Ginger hides behind a desk.)

(Ms. Vanthrax presses a button on the underside of her desk.)

(The classroom transforms into what appears to be a laboratory of sorts. Ginger hides behind a shelf.)

Ginger: What?!

(A screen appears at the front of the laboratory. Ms. Vanthrax kneels before the screen, calling a certain person.)

(A man appears onscreen. It appears he is on the toilet. He is shocked when Ms. Vanthrax calls.)

Man: No, no, no!

(The man readjusts his camera so that it appears he is standing up.)

Man: Greetings, Velma. I trust you are ready for tonight's monster hunt.

Ginger: (quietly) A monster hunt!

Man: It has been a hundred years since the monster last woke.

(Ginger hides behind a window of sorts and records with his phone.)

Man: So, tonight, he will be eager to feast on the joy of innocent, happy townspeople.

(Ginger slips on something and falls. Velma gasps.)

Man: What was that?! Is somebody there?

(Ms. Vanthrax sees Ginger through the window. She quickly pushes a button, closing the screen.)

(Ginger leaps out of his hiding spot. Ms. Vanthrax tries to grab Ginger, but misses.)

Ginger: Why'd they let you be a monster hunter?! You're ooold and boring!

Ms. Vanthrax: Quiet! (hits organ keys)

(A note plays on the organ. Purple neon bars emerge from the circle where Ginger is standing on, trapping him.)

Ginger: (gasps) I should be the one on a monster hunt. You have to take me, or everybody at school sees this! (shows video on phone)

Man (on video): It has been a hundred years since the monster last woke...

(Ms. Vanthrax takes the phone from Ginger, throws it on the floor and jumps on it.)

Ms. Vanthrax: Now, the only thing they'll see is you in detention!

Ginger: The video's already backed up to the cloud.

Ms. Vanthrax: They made a video cloud? No fair. Oh, you can come. (releases Ginger)

Ginger: Woo!

Ms. Vanthrax: But you can't tell a soul about this. (holds out pinky) Pinky swear it.

Ginger: (holds out pinky) Yes! Pinky swear! (makes "pinky swear" gesture)

(Scene cuts to the woods. Ms. Vanthrax sees through a sort of high-tech goggles.)

Ginger: I can't believe I'm gonna see my first monster! I'm so excited, I feel like I'm gonna explode!

Ms. Vanthrax: (whispers) Calm down. This hunt is about patience and discipline.

Ginger: Ugh, this is so boring. How did you make monster hunting boring?!

Ms. Vanthrax: (whispers) If you're having such a terrible time, you're welcome to go home.

(A footstep is heard. Ms. Vanthrax searches for the monster with her goggles.)

Ms. Vanthrax: It's close! It's time for us to...

(Ginger gasps in excitement.)

Ms. Vanthrax: ...keep waiting, but more quietly.

(Ginger groans.)

Ginger: (screams) That is it! Your way of monster-hunting is ridiculous! (runs out)

Ms. Vanthrax: Ginger, no!

(Ginger runs into the forest with a wooden spoon. He puts on his goggles, only to find that the monster was right behind him.)

(The monster roars.)

Ginger: (screams) Help me, Ms. Vanthrax!

(Ginger runs away. The monster chases him, only for Ginger to trip on a rock and fall. The monster is approached by Ms. Vanthrax.)

(Ms. Vanthrax is armed with nunchucks. She makes threatening moves with her nunchucks. The monster hisses before retreating.)

Ms. Vanthrax: You tiny fool! I needed to capture the monster, but you forced me to scare it away! You ruined my hunt!

Ginger: (sobs) I'm sorry. (hugs Ms. Vanthrax) I didn't realize a monster would be so scary!

Ms. Vanthrax: No. Now, now. (pats Ginger's head) There's no need for big emotions. Let's think about this: the monster will go to whatever part of town is the happiest. (takes out device) Maybe a fabric store? Or a dentist? The waiting room at a bank?

Ginger: Wait, the happiest place? I think I know where that is!

(Scene cuts to the carnival. The friends enter. Tom and Angela's has their legs tied together for the three-legged race.)

Ben: I can't believe you guys walked all the way to the jamboree like that.

Tom: Well, Ginger might not be here, but I still want to win that race.

Hank: Guys! They have jawbreakers the size of a soccer ball! Oh, our young friend doesn't know what he's missing.

(Scene cuts to the three-legged race. A bell dings, starting the race.)

(Scene cuts to the carnival entrance. The monster enters and approaches two children at a carnival game. The monster sucks the joy out of the children. The children's complexions become black-and-white.)

(Scene cuts to a man playing a high-striker game. He strikes the lever, making the bell ding.)

Man: Woo-hoo!

(The monster appears from above the high striker and sucks the joy out of the man.)

(Scene cuts to Ben and Hank cheering for Tom and Angela.)

Hank: Angela, Angela, Tom! Hooray for Tom and Angela!

(The monster appears from behind and sucks the joy out of them.)

Ben: Why do we even care who wins?

Hank: Well, you need to be a more supportive friend, you big jerk! (hits Ben)

Ben: Hey! (hits back)

(Hank and Ben continue fighting. The monster approaches Tom and Angela, who are laughing as they walk in the race.)

(The monster sucks their joy.)

Tom: Move your butt, Angela!

Angela: Move your butt! Or, should I say your face? You're a buttface!

(Angela nudges Tom, but both fall.)

(The monster is seen on a ferris wheel. It sucks the joy out of the entire carnival, causing it to lose its color.)

(Scene cuts to the carnival entrance. Ginger and Ms. Vanthrax enter.)

Ginger: The monster is turning the Jamboree of Joy into a Jamboree of Jerks!

Ms. Vanthrax: It's too late. I failed my mission.

Ginger: No, I failed your mission, but I'll make this right. There has to be something we can do!

(Ms. Vanthrax takes out an orb.)

Ms. Vanthrax: I can trap the monster in this orb, but I need to lure it to me. And I can't lure it when it's already in a buffet of happiness in there!

Ginger: So, someone has to be bait!

(A faint image of the monster appears in the orb.)

Ginger: Hmm, all we need to do is lure the monster into a corner and set a trap! I'll do it, Ms. V! I'll make you proud! (starts running)

Ms. Vanthrax: Stop, it's way too dangerous for you!

Ginger: I know it's dangerous, but we need joy, and I'm a little boy, at a carnival, full of candy, up past my bedtime. I can bring the joy! (leaves)

(Scene cuts to the monster sucking the joy from two people. Ginger hides behind a wall.)

Ginger: (to himself) I can do this. He's not that scary. Gah!

(Ginger stands in the open to confront the monster.)

Ginger: You call yourself a joy-sucker?!

(The monster roars. Ginger blows a raspberry.)

(The monster chases Ginger. Ginger runs away.)

Ginger: Oh, no, this was stupid!

(Ginger runs past a man juggling churros.)

Ginger: (takes churros and tries juggling) There is a churro juggler! Incredible!

(Ginger continues running. However, his joy starts getting sucked away.)

(Ginger runs to the rollercoaster.)

Ginger: The rollercoaster is running backwards? Nice!

(Ginger gets on the rollercoaster and the ride starts. The monster sits behind Ginger.)

(At the end of the ride, Ginger runs off. He is cornered in a location.)

Ginger: I... I was just kidding. You don't really wanna take my joy.

(The monster starts sucking Ginger's joy.)

Ginger: (resists sucking) You... can't... take away my happy thoughts! Best... friends... oh, no...

(The monster finishes sucking away Ginger's joy. Ginger is now black-and-white and he collapses on the floor.)

(Ms. Vanthrax appears with her nunchucks.)

Ms. Vanthrax: (makes battle cry) Back off, beast! No one upsets my students but me!

(Ms. Vanthrax fights the monster. The monster manages to knock away Ms. Vanthrax's nunchucks.)

(Ms. Vanthrax takes out her orb. The monster leaps into the air. Ms. Vanthrax also leaps into the air, throwing her orb forward.)

(A light fills the screen. Color is restored to the carnival.)

(Scene cuts to Hank and Ben.)

Ben: (fights Hank) Stop it!

Hank: I've had it with you, Ben!

Ben: Leave me alone!

Hank: Why don't you just-

(Hank and Ben regain their happiness.)

Ben: Hooray!

(Scene cuts to Tom and Angela. They continue insulting each other on the ground.)

Angela: You're a fartface!

Tom: You think I care? I don't care.

(Tom and Angela regain their happiness. They get up.)

Angela: Tom, I... I am so sorry I said all those terrible things about your face!

Tom: It must have been all this racing stress. I never meant for this to come between us.

Angela: Oh, Tom, nothing can come between us. Let's win this! (continues walking)

(Scene cuts to Ms. Vanthrax. She gets up to find the monster trapped in the orb. However, she finds that Ginger had not regained his colors yet. He races over to Ginger.)

Ms. Vanthrax: Are you alright?! Speak to me!

Ginger: Coming here... was... (coughs) ...a... mistake.

(Ms. Vanthrax nods.)

Ginger: (regains colors) A mistake for the monster! I totally tricked it! And then you swooped in, you were like, "pow, pyow, pyow, pyow, pyow!"

Ms. Vanthrax: I know, Ginger. I was there. But yes, the two of us working together was pretty neat, as I'm told you kids say.

Ginger: Those were some incredible monster-smashing moves, Ms. Vanthrax. I guess you're not so boring after all, even if you are old!

(Ms. Vanthrax and Ginger laugh.)

Ms. Vanthrax: Yes, you demonstrated bravery and smarts.

(The friends appear.)

Tom: Ginger? I thought you were studying for a big test.

Ginger: Yeah...

Ms. Vanthrax: The truth is that Ginger... finished studying earlier.

Tom: Do you want to see a jawbreaker the size of a soccer ball?

Ginger: Of course I do! Why would you even ask me something like that? (starts leaving)

Ms. Vanthrax: Oh, it's fine. Go be with your friends. You earned it.

(Ginger happily leaves.)

Ms. Vanthrax: Oh, don't stay out too late. You still owe me a real history report tomorrow!

Ginger: Aw!

(Credits roll)