Man on the Moon/Transcript

Let’s see: backpacks, sleeping bags, lanterns… Oh… sunscreen?

Check!

Cool shades?

Check!

Hacky Sack?

The sack is in the pack.

Great, I think we’ve got everything we need for the annual best friends

camping trip! Now to pack it all... Hank, I’ll let you get started.

I got to take care of the thing with the deal...

Wow. How’d you fit all that in?

The secret is to roll your underwear into tubes.

Woah, woah, woah! Is that a laptop?

Nowadays it’s called a portable computer.

This is our best friends camping trip! That means me, you, Hank and no laptops!

Hi, guys!

Oh, and I also invited Angela.

If that desert is hiding dinosaur bones, they will be mine!

And I invited Ginger. Someone has to teach him about nature!

Hold on! Five people on a three-person best friends trip?!

What’s wrong with us coming?

Let’s see. Five is not three!

Don’t worry, Ben. We’re still going to do the same things we do every year.

Plus, we’ll get to witness the rarest sight in nature.

A half bird, half snake man?

Even better... an Ultramoon.

That’s when the moon comes so close, it’s like... ultra.

I don’t see it.

It’s not out now yet. It’s still daytime.

Okay, everyone, according to my checklist,

it’s time for our first night Hacky Sack session. Tom!

Later, Ben, I’m cooking here.

Okay, while we wait for you, Hank, Ginger, let’s get kicking...

I feel like playing some music.

I’m going to look for dinosaur bones!

I see... I guess I’m the only one who cares about tradition.

Alright everybody, try and guess the song!

Oh! I know! “Dance the Night 4 U”!

Nope. Here, let me play the hook.

That’s the exact same note!

Hank, please stop. Everyone knows we don’t play “guess the song”

until the second night of the best friends trip!

Look! The Ultramoon is rising!

Wow... looking at the Ultramoon reminds me of a song.

Now that’s “Dance the Night 4 U.”

You guessed it!

What? Oh, come on!

Go ahead, Tom, bring Angela. Sure, Hank, bring Ginger too, why not?

Hey, someone should call up Santa and see if he’s busy!

At least I have you, smuggled laptop.

Let’s see. Wi-Fi? In the middle of the desert?

Hi, u up?

Am I up? Who is this?

The moon.

Ha! You’re being funny. Who is this really?

Ow! Who threw that?!

Wow, that tastes just like a moon rock!

Yes, I have a lot of those. Because I’m the Moon.

OK. But how am I talking to you? You’re way too far away to get a signal.

Usually that’s true, but tonight I’m much, much closer to you.

Did you get Wi-Fi just for this Ultramoon?

I’ve always had it... I just don’t ever get to use it.

Then you have some catching up to do. Wanna watch a funny Internet video?

What’s a video?

Oh boy, where do I even start? What do you know about kittens?

You sign off first.

No, you sign off first.

I did and I logged back on and you’re still on.

What’s going on?

I don’t know. I found him like this. Maybe he’s gone desert crazy.

Hey, Ben, what are you doing?

Oh, just chatting with the Moon.

I thought you weren’t going to bring your laptop.

You brought Angela. Hank brought Ginger. And thanks to my laptop, I found... The Moon.

Wait, is that really the Moon?

Of course not.

Then how do you explain this sudden eclipse?

Yeah, good one, Moon.

Did you see that eclipse?!

That’s Angela... Remember I told you about how she gets.

Hmm, she’s exactly like you described her.

Wait! What?!

Well, are you and the Moon coming on the hike with us?

Oh, can you?

I wish! It’s time for me to set.

Oh... When can I chat with you again?

I’ll be back in 14,000 years.

14,000… Well, it was nice meeting you, I guess.

Yeah, I’ll miss you, Ben.

Ah, here’s a crazy idea. What if I didn’t set so we could keep hanging out?

Yes! You could do that? Then you could go on the hike with us!

Okay! I’d love to.

Hey, buddy, a little farther and we’ll be at Pleasant Springs...

the highlight of every best friends camping trip, right? Ben?

What’s so funny?

I can tell you. But the Moon doesn’t think you would get it.

Really? I’m pretty good at “getting” things, but whatever.

Okay... We’re laughing because I meant to send Ben a winky face,

but I accidently sent him a kissy face.

That was a lucky accident...

Oh, so cute, so funny. You make such a good couple.

Okay. The Moon needs to go now.

I know the Moon is annoying, but she makes Ben happy.

Hold on. I need to get a screenshot of this. A winking smiley face?!

Vomit.

I’ll talk to him.

Say "cheese"!

Hey, Ben, some of us were thinking maybe it’s time for the Moon to... I don’t know...

Set?

Who’s “some of us”? Angela?

Can the Moon not be a part of this conversation?

Anything you want to say to me, you can say to the Moon!

Okay, there’s supposed to be a best friend vibe on this trip, but the Moon

who I think is totally cool is kinda pulling you away from the group.

Don’t let him talk about us like that, Ben-Ben!

Nobody talks about my girlfriend that way! Moon, we’re out of here!

That Moon is trouble.

Yeah, something needs to be done.

I have an idea....

And I have a dinosaur bone.

So now that we’re alone, was that true, what you said back there?

Am I really your girlfriend?

Well... do you want to be?

Do I want to be? Does this answer your question?

Ouch! Moon, you are so hot.

Oh, Ben, stop it...

Yoo hoo! I’m just a lonely asteroid lost in this desert. If only there were a handsome

or, uh, an average looking man to help me.

What do you think you’re doing?

Trying to save the best friend camping trip.

You’re the one who ruined it when you let Angela and Ginger come.

Hey!

Well, you ruined the hike! You and the Moon!

Ohhhhh, I get what’s going on here.

You’re jealous because you wish you had the kind of connection

with Angela that I have with the Moon!

Whaaaat?! This Angela?! What gave you that impression?

Admit it, Tom! You wish you could do this!

Moon, since the first time I saw you, I’ve wanted to kiss you.

Kiss me, Ben!

I don’t think the Moon should be this close to the Earth!

Whoa... Best camping trip ever!

Take cover!

Everyone to the tents!

Ben! Remember the real reason we came here! Best friends camping trip!!!

Nooo! Moon! Stop!!

- Ben? - Best friends camping trip...

Yes! Us. Best friends! Remember?

Wow... I don’t know what to say. I had no idea a relationship with the Moon

would cause this much trouble.

Yeah. I know it’s hard. But you’re doing the right thing breaking up with her.

Ben?!

What?! Oh no, that’s not what’s happening here.

What?!

Take care, Tom.

- Well, this is it. Goodbye, Ma! - Where are you going, Ben?!

To the moon, Mom! To the moon...

Okay!

To be continued...