Doc Hank/Transcript

Tom: Okay, I provided the flash of inspiration.

Ben: Now I'm stuck with three hard days of programming.

Tom: Teamwork!

Ben: Don't touch me!

(Hank munching those chips)

Ben: Okay. What are you doing?

Hank: What? The TV's broken so I came over here to watch your TV. What do you call this show, Numbers, numbers, numbers? (continues munching)

Ben: Alright. Until I have time to fix your TV, you can watch stuff online.

Hank: Ooh! Watching stuff online! That's right! That is popular! It's revolutionizing viewing habits. Thanks, Ben.

Ben: Now please stop bothering us!

(Tom munching chips)

Tom: Yeah! We're trying to work! What flavor are these?

(the scene cuts to theme song)

Hank: Now, which of my favorite TV shows should I search for? Ooh, how about... "That's Not My Lunch"? Heh, That schoolboy always has the wrong lunch. Whoops!

Dr. Internet Doctor: Attention! Click here! This could be the most important link you'll ever click!

Hank: Pfft, yeah right. I'm not falling for that.

Dr. Internet Doctor: Not falling for that? Excellent.

Hank: Huh?

Dr. Internet Doctor: But nothing you do will ever be more life-changing than clicking this link!

Hank: Nice try. But I don't think so.

Dr. Internet Doctor: Congratulations! By not clicking the first two ads, you've proven you're smart. Click here and your mother will always be proud of you! (disguised as Hank's mother) It's true, dear! (Hank gasps) I will be so proud if you click and so disappointed if you don't.

Hank: Mom?

Dr. Internet Doctor: Ooh, spooky! Oh, hello. So you want to be a doctor. And maybe even a renowned Internet doctor like myself. But do you think you have what it takes? Pop quiz. Question #1: What organ of the body pumps blood? A: The heart. B: A shoe. Or C: Count Dracula.

Hank: Ooh! I know that one. Click.

Dr. Internet Doctor: You clicked A: The heart. Very good!

Hank: Mmm-hmm.

Dr. Internet Doctor: Question #2: Do you or one of your roommates have a major credit card?

Hank: Hmm. Ooh! Uh-huh!

Dr. Internet Doctor: Congratulations! You have been accepted to Dr. Internet Doctor's Online Medical School! And as a special promotion: your first two classes are free! Free, free, free...

Hank: Guys, you won't believe this!

Dr. Internet Doctor: Free classes not actually free, failure to pay will result in demand for payment, All sales final, free parking with validation, dry clean only, do not dry clean, 2 shows nightly, 2 drink minimum, batteries not included, As seen on TV, copyright 2004, Wi-Fi not included, some assembly required, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money...