The Deep Secret/Transcript

(The friends are at Angela's apartment. The friends are dressed in Victorian-style costumes, and Angela is holding a game box.)

Angela: Okay, so the man at the store said this mystery game will be a bonding experience, or it will tear our friendships apart. I'm hoping for bonding!

Hank: (holds up character card) Ooh! My character is Dr. Moreau, a suave, French physician. Enchanté.

Ben: (holds up character card) And I'm Detective Mulholland, a hard-nosed lawman with a past. Hm, I was hoping to play someone a bit less like myself, but, oh, well.

Ginger: (uses cellphone) I'll tell you who I am in a minute! I almost have enough quartz to make a drawbridge in my city builder game- hey!

(Angela takes Ginger's cellphone away.)

Angela: (puts phone in bowl) No phones allowed, Ginger. Or should I say... (reads card) Sebastian, the little butler?

Ginger: Oh, man! Can I at least be a dinosaur butler?

Angela: What? No! That's not how this works. (calls Tom) Tom, we're about to start the mystery!

(Tom is in another room, adjusting his outfit.)

Tom: Just a minute! Hm, does this tie say... (in British upper-class accent) "Bartholomew Wellington, international spy?" (makes finger guns) (laughs)

(Tom notices a book on Angela's bed.)

Tom: Hmm, the code book, I presume. (reads book cover and gasps) (in normal accent) Angela's diary? Where she keeps her deepest thoughts that she can't tell anyone?! Uh... (stutters) I'd better pretend I didn't see this. (drops book) Or, I could just read it. (picks book back up) But just one word. One innocent word.

Diary: (in Angela's voice) "Tom..."

Tom: (gasps) "Tom!" Okay, I'll read two innocent words.

Diary: (in Angela's voice) "Tom can't..."

(Tom flips the page.)

Diary: (in Angela's voice) "Tom can't know my secret."

(Tom gasps.)

(Theme song plays)

(Tom is still in the bedroom, thinking about what was written in Angela's diary.)

Diary: "Tom can't know my secret..."

Tom: Her secret? What’s her secret? (flips through diary) You can’t write that and not explain it!

(Angela appears.)

Angela: (offscreen) Tom?

Tom: (yelps and drops diary) Secret- I mean, Angela? Uh, 'sup?

Angela: What’s taking you so long? We're all waiting for—

(Angela notices her diary out in the open.)

Angela: (laughs nervously) Oh, wow. It is such a mess in here. (locks diary in cabinet) Much better, right? Don’t you think that’s better? (laughs nervously)

Tom: (laughs) Yeah, you keep a tidy room.

Angela: (continues laughing nervously)

Tom: (looks at cabinet) Hm...

(Scene cuts to the living room. Angela collects the friends' cellphones in a basket.)

Angela: (clears throat) Thank you all for joining me, Madame Cassandra, for an evening of refreshments and mystery!

Hank: Ooh, I like both of those things!

Angela: You see, somebody in this room... is a rotten jewel thief!

Ben: (holds up magnifying glass) Hmm...

(A collage is shown of the friends portraying the characters.)

Angela: One of us has a deep, dark, secret.

(Ben and Hank laugh. Ginger is seen with his cellphone.)

Angela: (points to Hank's card) Is it the doctor...

(Hank silently giggles.)

Angela: (points to Ben's card) ...the detective...

Ben: Hm.

Angela: (points to Ginger's card) ...the butler...

(Ginger looks at his phone.)

Angela: (points to Tom's card) ...or the spy?

Tom: (angrily) What about the lady, huh? Could the lady have a deep, dark, secret? Hm?

Angela: I suppose you'll have to find out.

Tom: I suppose I will.

Angela: (rings bell) Okay, we have a half-hour to talk to each other and look for clues! Then we gather back together for the "Plot Thickens" round.

(Scene cuts to Angela interrogating Ben.)

Angela: He doesn't look like a jewel thief.

Hank: (interrogates Ben) We can do this the easy way or the hard way! I'm going to ask you some questions!

(Tom pulls Ben aside.)

Ben: Whoa!

Tom: Psst, Ben, I need to ask you something.

Ben: I'm sorry, Mr. Wellington, I believe you have me mistaken for somebody else- some lousy sap named Ben.

Tom: No, I really-

Ben: (shushes Tom) Ah-bap-bap-

Tom: Ugh, fine. (in British accent) Might I have a word, detective?

Ben: Make it snappy.

Tom: Right, so, I think that Ang- uh, Madame Cassandra is hiding something, but I can't just ask her. Or do you think I should just ask her?

Ben: Now, listen, Wellington, if you directly question a lady, she'll confound and misdirect you! If I was you, I'd search for a clue first.

Tom: Clues?

Ben: Yeah, see, that's what the game is all about. Seriously, Tom, that's the game.

Tom: Hm. (leaves)

Hank: (confronts Ben) Cozying up to the spy, eh? I'm watching you, Mulholland. (eats popcorn)

(Scene cuts to Ginger. He using his phone while hiding it under a few cards.)

Angela: Lovely evening, isn't it, Sebastian? (takes card)

Ginger: Uh, if you say so.

Angela: (reads card) It says here that you were seen admiring Mr. Haberdash's prized ruby collection two days before the very same jewels were stolen! Seems awfully suspicious to me.

(Tom sneaks into Angela's bedroom.)

Ginger: Mm-hm, artfully suspicious.

(Angela takes another card from Ginger, revealing his cellphone underneath. His city building game is shown.)

Angela: Ginger!

Ginger: Aw, come on, I have to water my yam garden so my city can get prestige!

Angela: There were no phone video games back in mystery times!