Ginger and the Girl/Transcript

(Ginger and Ronnie observe a trophy behind a glass case in his classroom.)

Ginger: Ronnie, soon, this trophy will be ours! We're gonna win this Super Twosome Science Fair.

Ronnie: Go Team Gin-Ron!

Ginger: Yeah!

Miss Vanthrax: Class, I have an announcement. This year, the Super Twosome Science Fair will be sponsored by a local super twosome, (shows picture of Tom and Ben) Tom  and  Ben of Tom and Ben Enterprises. And, they're awarding the team with the best grade a trip to Bug Camp!

(The class cheers.)

Ronnie: A trophy and a fun-filled summer swimming with bees? We need this.

Ginger: We got this.

Ms. Vanthrax: Now, as for the twosomes, Rachel, you're partnered with Sherry. Drew F., you're with Drew H..

(Ginger and Ronnie prepare to high-five each other.)

Ms. Vanthrax: And Ronnie, you're with... Darren.

(Ginger misses high-fiving Ronnie and falls over.)

Ginger: What?

Darren: Aloooha, teammate Ronnie!

Ginger: B-b-b-but, Ms. Vanthrax, Ronnie's supposed to be my partner!

Miss Vanthrax: No, Ginger. You're with... Tonya.

(Ginger looks back at Tonya at her desk, scared. Tonya spits out a wad of gum and places it on her desk.)

Ginger: Odd Tonya? But she's a... girl!

(The class laughs.)

(Theme song plays)

(Scene cuts to the garage. Ginger is seen with a piece of paper.)

Ginger: (takes deep breath) Hi, my best friends, who are the best. (points to paper) Can one of you sign this? A-and just write "doctor" right next to your name?

Hank: Sure, it's never a bad day to practice handwriting!

Tom: (takes paper) Hang on. (reads paper) This says you broke your legs and can't go back to school until after the science fair?

Angela: (points to Ginger's legs) I'm no doctor, but those legs don't look broken.

Ginger: Ugh, fine, detective! The truth is, I'm not hurt, but I can't go to school until the fair is over.

Ben: Oh, I see what's happening here. Ginger, you don't have to drop out of the fair just because you know the judges.

Tom: We will treat you and every other contestant the same.

Ginger: Ugh, it's not that! I have a world-shattering problem! My partner for the science fair is a girl! (makes retching noises)

Angela: And what's wrong with someone being a girl?

Ginger: I'm talking about a "girl" girl! How am I even gonna talk to her without barfing?

Angela: Easy, just treat her like an equal. You may even have a lot in common!

Ginger: That's ridiculous! Everybody tell Angela to stop being ridiculous! Okay, I guess I'll have to move to another planet.

(Ginger goes offscreen and returns with a jetpack and suitcase.)

Tom: Before you skip the fair, you should know that this summer, Bug Campers will get to make friendship lanyards out of tie-dye worms! Do you really want to miss that? (echoes)

(Tom shows Ginger a picture of a bracelet made with worms. Ginger imagines the worms giggling. He groans.)

(Scene cuts to the park at sunset. Ginger and Tonya meet at the bench.)

Tonya: Let's get this terrible thing over with.

Ginger: Agreed! But I refuse to make a doll! My idea is to eat so many marshmallows, we puke, and then record our findings!

Tonya: That's not science, that's stupid!

(Ginger gasps.)

Tonya: (takes out backpack) I've been working on an idea for a solar-powered toaster! (takes out blueprints) No one in our class is gonna be able to beat that!

Ginger: I guess that's an okay idea.

Tonya: Fine! (starts gluing solar panel)

Ginger: You're gluing that like a girl.

Tonya: I'm about to glue your mouth shut!

Ginger: Give it to me! That glue needs a manly squeeze!

(Ginger tries to take the glue from Tonya. They touch hands.)

Tonya: Ah, you touched my hand.

Ginger: (whispers) Your hand touched mine.

Tonya and Ginger: Cooties! (screams and runs away)

(Scene cuts to the driveway. Ronnie and Ginger are driving remote-controlled cars on a racetrack drawn on the ground with chalk.)

Ronnie: I'm sorry, Ginger, but I have to keep a safe distance from you. I'm very cootie-sensitive.

Ginger: Totally understandable. I'm just happy to chill with a dude again.

Ronnie: At least a solar-powered toaster is a good idea for a project! How's it going?

Ginger: Uh, bad! Odd Tonya glued the sensor panel like a girl, which is wrong, and her girly fingers will probably mess up the conductor wires, too!

Ronnie: Are those important?

Ginger: Obviously, Ronnie! Don't you know anything about solar-toaster science? Ugh, here. I'll show you how...

(Ginger explains the toaster to Ronnie. Darren records Ginger's explanation from behind a bush on his phone.)

Darren: Yes, that's it. Explain it all to Team Da-Ron. (chuckles)

(Scene cuts to the science fair at the classroom.)

Tom: Hey, everybody! We are so excited for Day 1 of the Super Twosome Science Fair.

Ms. Vanthrax: Teams will present their science projects all this week. Our first group today, by special request, is Darren and Ronnie.

(Darren and Ronnie appear at the front of the classroom. Ronnie pushes a cart with a cloaked object.)

Darren: (clears throat) Thank you, Ms. Vanthrax. Team Da-Ron is very excited to present...

(Ronnie uncloaks the object.)

Darren: ...a solar-powered toaster!

Ginger: What?!

(A flashback is shown of Ginger explaining the toaster to Ronnie.)

Ginger: And then, you just glue the sensor panel to the top of the toaster!

(Flashback ends)

Ronnie: We created it by gluing this sensor panel to the top of the toaster.

Ginger: (growls and shouts) They copied our idea!

Ms. Vanthrax: Ginger, don't interrupt Darren and Ronnie's A+ presentation!

Ronnie: A+?! As in the grade?

Ms. Vanthrax: Indeed!

Tom: Looks like we've got ourselves some early front-runners for Bug Camp!

Ben: Agreed! That appliance is going to "toast" the competition!

Darren: (claps) Wonderful! Well, who wants some solar toast?

(The class cheers.)

Ginger: (to Ben) You have to believe me!

Ben: Ginger, we know you don't like your partner. That doesn't mean you can lie your way out of the fair!

Ginger: It's not a lie! And that's the truth! Aw, man! (growls)

(Ginger goes to Ronnie.)

Ginger: How could you do this to me?!

Ronnie: Darren said we were helping! You- you told us you couldn't build a solar-powered toaster with a girl!

(Ginger is hit in the head with a wad of gum.)

Ginger: Ow!

(Ginger looks behind him to see that Tonya is visibly angry at Ginger.)

(Scene cuts to the gymnasium. Ginger runs in panting. He screams as he is nearly hit in the head with a basketball.)

Ginger: Oh, hi, Tonya!

Tonya: You blabbed about our project! Now, I'll never get to Bug Camp! And I like both bugs and camp!

Ginger: It's not my fault! I only talked to Ronnie after you ruined everything!

Tonya: I ruined everything?!

Ginger: Yes, thank you for admitting it, because none of this would have happened if you weren't a girl! (screams out) Because girls are grooooossss!!!

(The children in the gymnasium stop. They are all female.)

Female Student: Get him!

(The girls chase Ginger around the gym. He trampolines onto a climbing rope. Tonya climbs up after him.)

Tonya: Oh, you better watch out, Ginger! A gross girl is gonna get ya!

(Ginger climbs to the top of the rope. The link holding the rope in place snaps.)

Female Student 2: They're gonna fall! We've gotta do something!

(The students scream and run away.)

(Tonya takes the wad of gum out of her pocket.)

Tonya: Use my gum to patch the rope!

Ginger: Ew!

Tonya: It's the only way! Just take it!

Ginger: Yuck! Bleugh!

(Ginger takes the wad of gum and uses it to repair the link. The gum stretches, lowering the rope to ground level. Ginger and Tonya get down safely. They sigh in relief, then start laughing.)

Ginger: We're alive! I didn't know gum could fix a rope. Hey, listen, Tonya, you're smart, and I was a jerk, and we should call a truce, okay?

Tonya: Yeah, truce.

Ginger: Huh!

Tonya: Darren and Ronnie are the real jerks, anyway. I wish my gum could fix them!

Ginger: (gets idea) Maybe it can!

(Scene cuts to the classroom.)

Ms. Vanthrax: (hits desk with ruler) Welcome to the final day of the science fair. Ginger and Tonya, do you have a project, or should I mark you both with a zero-minus?

Ginger: We do have a project, Ms. Vanthrax!

(Ginger goes to the front of the classroom. Tonya carries a cart with another cloaked object.)

Darren: What could it be? Getting married? (laughs)

(The class laughs.)

Ginger: (laughs) Yes, fellow classmates, it's true. I'm a boy and Tonya's a girl, but we have one thing in common: we both hate liars.

(Ronnie gets scared.)

Tonya: So, we invented lie-detector gum! (removes cloak, revealing blue gumball)

(The class gasps.)

Tonya: To show how it works, we need a trustworthy volunteer.

Ginger: Like Darren. Yeah, Darren should do it!

Ronnie: Lie-detector gum?! No way that would even work.

Darren: Now, now, Ronnie. I'll test the gum. After all, I have nothing to hide. (goes to front of classroom)

(Darren starts chewing the gumball. The class gasps.)

Ginger: Hey, Darren, did you steal the idea to make a solar-powered toaster?

Darren: Ridiculous! The idea came to me in a dream!

(To the class' horror, as Darren continues chewing the gum, his mouth becomes fused shut. Ginger and Tonya put their hands on Darren's shoulders, scaring him.)

Tonya: As you can see, if someone is lying, the gum fuses their mouth shut for a hundred years! Does anyone else want to volunteer?

Ronnie: Oh... OKAY!!! I ADMIT IT! (bawls) WE STOLE GINGER AND TONYA'S IDEA! ME AND DARREN DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE!!! WE JUST WANTED TO GO TO BUG CAMP!!! (continues bawling)

Ms. Vanthrax: I am extremely disappointed! Also, I'm slightly concerned about Darren. Is he going to be able to open his mouth again?

Ginger: Oh, he'll be fine. There's no such thing as lie-detector gum. It's just super-sticky prank-gum.

Tonya: Our real project is... a solar-powered toaster! (takes out toaster) With a few improvements.

Ms. Vanthrax: Well, since it was your idea, I will allow it. You both get an A+!

Tom: (gives trophy to Tonya) Which means you're the super twosome headed to Bug Camp!

(The class cheers.)

(Ginger and Tonya hold the trophy, only to touch hands. They both scream and run away.)

(Credits roll)