Neighbor Roy/Transcript

Who the heck is-
(The episode begins with Tom and his friends at the museum.)

Ben: So, Tom, how does it feel to have a statue of you added to museum's Hall of Coolness?

Tom: I always knew that I was cool, but I never knew that I was "statue cool".

Hank: Wow! I can't believe Tom's image will be next to the ruby that fell from space.

Tom: It's around this corner. Prepare to marvel at some marble. Huh?

(Tom sees a statue of a raccoon.)

Tom: Um, pardon me. But, uh, quick question. Why does this statue of me, uh, not look like me?

Amy: Because it's not you.

Tom: Huh?

Amy: A cooler guy moved to town so he got a statue instead.

Tom: What?!

Amy: Some fella named Roy.

(Everyone chats about Roy.)

Babysitter: Roy babysat for our family once and planted two gardens just for fun.

Wesley: I choked on a grape once and Roy saved my life.

Tom: Who the heck is Roy?!

The New Neighbor
(The gang head back inside the studio.)

Angela: Oh, one little museum statues isn't a big deal. This isn't going to change our lives or anything.

Tom: Well, yeah, I guess that's true.

Ginger: Guys, look! (The movers are preparing for Roy to arrive) We're getting a new neighbor. And they have a bunch of cool stuff! I wonder who it is.

Roy: What if he's a jerk?

(The five scream.)

Roy: (laughs) No, I'm just kidding. He's me. Hi, new neighbors. I'm Roy.

Tom: Hmm...

(The scene cuts to the theme song.)

Unfriendly Gesture
* Tom shows the gang his pie.*

Tom: What do you think of my "welcome to the neighborhood" present for Roy, huh?

Ben: What a nice gesture, especially after Roy dethroned you as the coolest person in town —

Tom: Uh, Ben.

Ben: — according to the museum.

Tom: Ben?

Ben: But what do museums know?

Tom: Ben!

(Ben cowers)

Ben: Oh!

Tom: It's fine. In fact, that's why I'm giving him this pie, so that Roy can be like, "A homemade pie? Tom is way cooler than I am!"

Angela: So, it's not a nice gesture at all.

Tom: Mm-hmm.

Roy: Hey, guys.

(Tom gasps)

Roy: Just dropping by to give you a little something just to show you how much I appreciate being your new neighbor.

(Ginger opens the box to find a Lightening Man action figure.)

Ginger: A Lightening Man action figure!

(Ginger puts on his glasses and he pushes the button on the action figure, causing it to shine the inside studio.)

Ginger: They stopped making these after all the lightening injuries.

Tom: Whoa!

Ben: A Blue Flame 5,000? That's the best Bunsen burner you can buy!

(Tom growls)

Hank: Wow! The "Bongo and McGillicuddy" complete box set! (kisses box, then opens it) It even has the Christmas special everyone hated!

(Tom growls again)

Angela: Whoa. Are these real gold?

Roy: Mm-hmm. And real microphones.

Angela: (singing) Wow, Roy! You shouldn't have!

Tom: (angered) Yeah, Roy. You shouldn't have.

Roy: I wanted us to get off on the right foot, so I did a little research on y'all to see what you look like.

Tom: Well, that's creepy.

(Angela and Roy look at Tom, angrily)

Roy: (laughs) Oh, Tom, I wish I could be as hilarious as you. By the way, *holds up large pie* I didn't forget about you.

Tom: (shocked) Oh.

Ginger: That pie looks amazing!

(Angered, Tom throws his pie in the trash.)

Roy: Well, it's not a contest. And before I go, I'm having a little housewarming shindig tonight.

(Roy passes the large pie to Tom.)

Roy: You all should come if you're not too busy.

Tom: Yeah. You know-

Angela: We'd love to!

Ben: Yes!

(The four laugh)

(Tom falls on the floor with the pie in his face. The scene cuts to the gang heading to the party.)

Secret Rooms
Tom: I just don't understand why we are going to some stranger's party.

Angela: Roy is not a stranger, he's your neighbor. Stop being such a grump.

Tom: Fine. But don't come complaining to me when this party is super...lame?

(As the gang enter the party, a photographer take a picture of them.)

Photographer: (passes picture to them) For your memories.

(Tom spots Roy chatting with the group.)

Roy: So I said "Senator, that's not an avocado." The funny thing is, it was an avocado! He was right. I was wrong.

(The group laugh. The gang find this cool, except Tom, who is jealous of him. The cuts to Roy playing the piano. Tom is still jealous and Angela seems impressed. As Roy finishes, he gestures his hand for Angela to come over. Angela giggles and Tom puts his hand out, as if to stop Angela.)

Angela: (singing) ♫ Everybody give a toast ♫ 

(Tom is very angry and is about to squish the grapes.)

Angela: (singing) ''♫ To the host with the most. ''♫' 

(Tom squishes the grape harder and Hank catches the juice with his cup.)

Angela: ♫ Oh boy, shooby-doo bop-bop-doo ♫' 

Ginger: Tom! Roy has his own game room! Come play Extreme Foosball with me!

(Ginger grabs Tom's arm to find the "game room".)

Tom: Ginger, which one of these way-too-many-doors did you go into?

(Tom finds a door opening and gets scared. He backs away and something opens a staircase to a room. Tom goes down and finds a secret room. The room had some blueprints on a table and Tom looks at them)

Angela: There you are! Roy was just about to show us some pictures of when he climbed Mount Everest and built an orphanage on it.

Tom: Angela, these are blueprints for the town museum.

Angela: What? Are you snooping in here?

Tom: No, I just got lost but there is something weird about this guy. Look, he's got this *picks up a crown* thing just laying around. I mean, what even is this?

Roy: I know, right?

(Tom gasps)

Roy: It's silly. But what can I say? I collect cool things and this antique crown is cool, right? Soon, I'll get something even more "out of this world".

Tom: Hmm.

Roy: Anyway, you're obviously lost. (bends his arm for Angela to hold and Tom gasps) I'll take you both back in the party. The hallways in this house can be really, really confusing. Totally not your fault! It happens to a lot of people.

(Tom groans)

Tom: Hmm. Pfft.

(Tom flicks over a chess piece, resembling a raccoon, which opens a secret room)

Tom: Wow!

Angela: Tom, are you coming or not?

(Tom puts the piece up right and leaves)

Not What He Seems
Tom: And there was a secret door behind it! I mean, I am telling you, this dude is hiding something.

(Car screeches)

Ben: Calm down. It was probably some ugly utility closet (doorbell rings) he was simply trying to cover up.

Hank: (calling) Oh, Tom! A strange mail delivery that none of us knew about is here.

(Ginger jumps out of his seat)

Ginger: Ooh, a box! Let me open it! Yaah!

(Ginger opens the box)

Ginger: Whoa. (Ginger giggles) Check it out! I look like Star Bandit from Space Conflicts!

Tom: Uh, I did not order that. Ben?

Ben: (thinking) Mm, says it's for Roy. I guess it was delivered here by mistake.

Tom: Roy? Wait, this is burglary gear! It all makes sense! Roy had museum blueprints, he collects museum things and he said he was getting something "out of this world!" Roy's going to steal the space ruby!

Ben: Wow, I know your mad about the statue, but give it a rest.

Hank: Yeah, Tom. Roy's already got it all! Why would he want to steal *Close up on Angela* to get more?

Angela: Hmph.

(Tom sighs)

Tom: Okay, you're right. Yeah, sure, Roy is just a cool guy with a cool house. So, I think I'll just take this back to him and thank him for all of the coolness he gives us.

Angela: That's the spirit, Tom!

Tom: (untruthfully) Sure.

Spying on Roy/Chasing Roy
(Tom hides behind the space ruby, in lookout for Roy. He hears Roy's footsteps. Tom growls and jumps in front of him.)

Tom: A-ha!

Roy: What?

Tom: Busted, Roy!

Roy: Tom? What are you doing here?

Tom: Stopping you from stealing this.

(Tom picks up the ruby and the alarm blares. Tom puts back the space ruby in its place. Roy runs off. Tom chases him around town. Tom falls into a bouncy house and uses his grappling hook to avoid falling, but as he chases Roy with his gadget, it winds up in a tangling mess.)

Tom: Gotcha! Not so cool now, are you?

Roy: Ohh.

Roy's Secret Is Out!
(Tom shows the citizens Roy, who is tied up in a rope.)

Angela: Oh, no, Tom. What have you done?

Tom: I just happened to catch Roy trying to steal the space ruby.

(The citizens gasp.)

Tom: Yeah, that's right.

Roy: Tom, I'm afraid you're mistaken.

Tom: I caught you sneaking into the museum.

Rhonda: How dare you.

Roy: It's true.

Hank: What?

Roy: I was sneaking into the museum. Because I was so touched when you all honored me with my statue, I wanted to make a donation for my own collection as a "thank you". Could someone pull that cord?

(The assistant pulls up the curtain to show the crown.)

Citizen #1: The lost crown of the city of secrets?

Citizen #2: Come on!

Assistant: What an incredible piece.

Roy: Yeah, I studied the museum blueprints so I could sneak in and drop off the crown while the museum was closed. I guess I should have told someone about it, but I wanted the donation to anonymous. My grandma always said it's important to be humble.

Citizens: Aww!

Tom: No! Don't "aww", all right? He said he was going to add something "out of this world" to his collection, as in from space.

Roy: Oh, that? Tom, I meant that I brought the Star Bandit costume from the "Space Conflicts" movies. Actually, it's a lot like your outfit. Where'd you get that?

Tom: But, I...you...space ruby...

(The citizens boo.)

Police: All right, folks. Nothing to see here. Roy was just trying to do something nice, and Tom spoiled it.

Roy: Excuse me, officer. Don't be mad at Tom. He was only trying to help. We're lucky to have such a concerned citizen. Let's give Tom a round of applause! For Tom! Hip-hip!

(The people look at each other, confused)

Angela: Hooray, Tom!

Tom: Aww.

The Truth About Roy
Reporter: The museum accepted Roy's generous donation, which was going to be anonymous until it was spoiled by a citizen who shall remain unnamed. But he looks like this.

(The citizens boo.)

Tom: Ohh.

Angela: It's okay, Tom. People will forget about this in a few days or weeks. I mean, definitely in a few months.

(Doorbell rings.)

Roy: Hey, uh, Tom-o, I wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings about what happened today. Friends?

Tom: Sure, Roy. Friends.

Roy: Aw, I was hoping you'd say that. (whispers in Tom's ear) Because nobody's gonna believe now that you made a fool of yourself in front of the whole town. (chuckles evilly)

Tom: Wait. What?! I was right about you!

Roy: (menacing) See you around, Tom. (He and Tom growl, but he steps on a bucket by accident) Whoops, I mean... (He and Tom growl again)

(Episode ends.)