The Good Germ/Transcript

(Scene shows the driveway. A party has been set up.)

Ginger: Party!

Angela: What's going on here?

Tom: (moonwalks) It's a "Welcome-back, Angela" party, and you're the Angela of Honor. I got balloons, Hank is grilling up taxi snacks...

Hank: (cooks patties on grill) I'm cooking jellybean burgers!

Tom: And Ginger got a bounce house.

(The bounce house is of a cat resembling Ginger.)

Ginger: (jumps in bounce house) Yay! Yay!

Angela: Aw, thanks, guys. You know, ever since I got back, I've been feeling great! [sings] I...I'm even writing music again!

Ben: (walks outside, grumpy) Could you keep it down out here? I'm trying to wallow.

Hank: Hey, cheer up, buddy. Could be worse. I know one guy whose girlfriend left him and now he has to wear a bracelet that zaps him if he uses technology.

Ben: That's me, Hank. Look. (holds out cellphone)

(Ben attempts to touch the cellphone but is shocked by the bracelet.)

Ben: See? l can't even get (in slow-motion) my cell phone.

(Ben leans on a laptop. He gets electrocuted and screams.)

(Tom and Angela cover their faces.)

(Theme song plays)

(Ben storms inside.)

Tom: Other than Ben, everything mostly worked out great for all of us.

(Jeremy opens the garage door. He looks dirty and has a green drool coming from his mouth.)

(Tom and Angela gasp.)

Jeremy: A bounce house?

(Jeremy sees Ginger jumping on the bounce house.)

Jeremy: Yes, please! (hops to bounce house)

(Everywhere Jeremy hops gets covered with a green slime-like substance.)

Tom: No, Jeremy, no! You're going to get your germ-gunk all over it!

(Jeremy jumps in the bounce house.)

(Scene cuts. Ben puts barricade tape around the bounce house, which is covered in green slime.)

Tom: Okay, what l really meant to say is, there are... still lots of problems.

(Ginger runs out, covered in slime.)

Ginger: (cries) I'm filthy and gross! This shouldn't happen to a little boy!

Jeremy: Too bad you guys couldn't keep up with my sick partying skills. I'll bet you want to kick me out of the garage now, but you can't because we made a deal. (slides slime on Tom) Nah, nah-nah nah-nah!

(Tom backs away quickly.)

Tom: We get it, Jeremy. You're a gross, good-time-ruining jerk!

Jeremy: Ohh, so now you're probably going to try to make me change, huh? Well, it won't work, suckers.

Angela: That would be a waste of energy, because you never change.

Tom: Yeah, the best thing for us is to ignore you. Maybe eventually you'll just go away.

Ginger: (gasps excitedly) Can we get some cheer-up ice cream since my party got ruined?

Angela: Uh, it was my party, but yes.

Tom: You know the best thing about ice cream? No giant germs.

(The friends start walking away.)

Jeremy: Wait, what?! You're just walking away? (hugs pole) I'm a thorn that's always in your side!

(The friends ignore him and chat indistinctly.)

Jeremy: Hello? I'm going inside. (licks fence) I might mess up the fridge if you don't stop me. (licks fence)

(The friends continue to walk and ignore Jeremy.)

(Jeremy sadly slithers to the slime-covered garage.)

(Jeremy looks around the garage to see memories of the friends hanging out.)

Jeremy: (sings)

Am I really just a gross germ?

Is my fate so sad and firm?

Will I always be disgusting?

(enters bathroom)

Am I just a filthy worm?

Voices: (sings)Jeremy...

(Jeremy opens the toilet and finds germs singing.)

Germs: (sings)

Leave the clean world behind.

You'll never fit in there.

Jeremy: (sings)

I could join the germs.

Be sleazy, be so stinky and strange.

It would be so very easy.

''Or can I... or can I really change?''

(smiles)

(Scene cuts to the friends entering the garage.)

Hank: I once had a brain freeze that lasted for thirty minutes, 'cause I would stop eating the ice... (notices) cream.

(The friends notice that the garage has been cleaned.)

Tom: Whoa! What happened to this place?

Jeremy: I'll tell you what happened! I proved you wrong. (puts rose in vase) I changed!

(The friends look surprised.)

Jeremy: I'm a new Jeremy: a clean Jeremy! The best Jeremy ever!

(The floors are so shiny they are reflective.)

Hank: Wow! These floors are cement? I thought we had carpets!

Jeremy: No, that was dust. And that's not all I did! I cleaned up the bounce house, so you can have a redo of your Ginger-party!

(The bounce house is seen clean.)

Angela: It was an Angela-party!

Ginger: Wait, you fixed the bounce house?! (runs to bounce house, drops ice cream) Guys, this is awesome! We have to give Jeremy a chance! (jumps in bounce house) Hooray! Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah!

Jeremy: (wipes slime from door frame) Whoa, bwof! Bein' better than everybody sure feels good. Yike!

(Jeremy runs over to the ice cream cone and picks it up.)

Ginger: Woo! (laughs, holds bar of soap) You left a bunch of soap in here!

Jeremy: Oh, I meant to put that away, but the films got me all woozy.

(Ben is at a table containing several jars of jellybeans.)

Ben: You even color-coded the jellybeans. I admire the obsession with organization.

Hank: And I admire the jellybeans! (takes several handfuls and eats them)

Jeremy: Hey, watch it, please. I worked hard on that color scheme.

Hank: What for? My stomach is just gonna turn them into one big wad of rainbow-sweetness.

(Rainbow light emits from Hank's mouth.)

Jeremy: Ah!

Tom: Jeremy's right, Hank. You don't mix jellybeans in your stomach like a weirdo. You mix them... in your face! (throws jellybeans at Hank)

Jeremy: No!

Tom: Jellybean war!

Hank: Jellybean war!

(The friends start throwing jellybeans at each other.)

Jeremy: Gah! What are you doing?!

(Angela knocks Jeremy off the table and throws a jar at Ben.)

(Ben runs into the camera and knocks it over.)

Tom: I got you! I got you!

Jeremy: (screams) You're all makin' a mess!

(Jeremy screams in frustration.)

(Scene cuts.)

Angela: I thought I liked the new Jeremy, but if he's going to tie us up, I am officially undecided.

(The friends are all tied to the bounce house. Angela is tied upside-down. Jeremy is growling.)

Tom: It's obviously not a new Jeremy. It's the same old problem-causer we've always known.

Jeremy: Oh, no, I did change. You said I couldn't, but I cleaned up, and you ruined it by makin' a mess!

Hank: We were just havin' a little fun!

Jeremy: Is that so?! Well, I think you just don't like the clean me! You want me to be the gross guy you can all look down on! Well, that germ is gone! I am never gonna stop cleaning.

(Jeremy goes inside and returns with a vacuum cleaner.)

(Jeremy tries to pull the vacuum further, but the cord is too short. Jeremy tries to start the vacuum but it does not turn on.)

Jeremy: (screams in frustration) Yah, whatever! I don't need a vacuum, 'cause I have got a mouth.

(Jeremy starts eating the jellybeans on the floor. He comes across a broken table.)

Jeremy: Trash, trash, trash. Oh, that broken table is trash.

(Jeremy eats the table. He belches and strangely increases in size.)

Ginger: Did he just get bigger?

Ben: Well, as a germ, eating trash would naturally increase his mass.

(Jeremy eats a trash can and becomes larger.)

(Jeremy rampages through the city, eating trash in his sight and growing to a gigantic size.)

Jeremy: (sings in deep voice)

I was more than just a gross germ, but no one cared to see,

So, now, I will show everyone...

just what I can be!

(laughs evilly)

(The sky becomes cloudy.)

(Scene cuts to the driveway. The friends are still tied to the bounce house.)

Ben: This should be easy to fix. We simply have to develop a shrink ray that-

(Ben's bracelet beeps.)

Ben: Never mind. I know, stupid bracelet.

Tom: (struggles) I don't need science to stop him. Now, everybody, just struggle like crazy until we get free.

(The friends struggle with the ropes but they could not crawl free.)

Ben: It's not working! All we're doing is making fart noises.

Ginger: (giggles) Fart noises.

Hank: We're also making this bounce house wiggle.

Angela: Maybe that's all we need to do!

(The bounce house stands on its hind legs.)

Angela: I'm going to immortalize this moment in a song. (sings)

''Bounce to the left! Bounce to the right!''

Everybody bounce, it's time to fight!

(The bounce house chases Jeremy.)

Jeremy: (eats car) A little metallic, but the cushions really pop in your mouth.

(The bounce house approaches Jeremy.)

Angela: Spit out that sedan.

Jeremy: (spits out car) You're still actin' like I'm the bad guy.

Tom: Well, you are a giant monster rampaging through town.

Jeremy: You're the monster! The never-lets-people-change monster! Well, take this! (charges towards bounce house)

Angela: Let's do this! Report in, team!

Hank: Left arm, feeling strong! (raises house's arm)

Ginger: Right arm, ready to rumble! (raises arm)

Ben: Left leg, let's kick butt! (stomps)

Tom: Right leg, right... leg. Wait, when did you all get catchphrases?

(Jeremy charges at the bounce house. They jump at each other, but Jeremy misses.)

Jeremy: Huh? (crashes into building)

(They continue fighting. Jeremy knocks the bounce house back, but the house bounces back and hits Jeremy.)

(The friends cheer.)

(Jeremy picks up a lamppost and prepares to use it as a weapon.)

Hank: Nice move!

Jeremy: Why, thank you. (charges)

(Jeremy stabs the bounce house with the lamppost, knocking the house over. A bar of soap is knocked out of the bounce house.)

(Jeremy holds his lamppost ready to strike.)

Ginger: New plan, we have to join him!

Ben: No, we don't! The soap can help us!

(Ben touches his cellphone, getting electrocuted by the bracelet.)

Ben: (screams) Yes!

(Ben is able to break free from his ropes.)

Ben: Ah-ha! Now do a flip!

(Ben holds onto the tongue of the bounce house and holds the bar of soap.)

Ben: Ah-ha!

(The bounce house dodges Jeremy's attack, jumping into the air.)

(Ben throws the bar of soap into Jeremy's mouth.)

Jeremy: Oh, no. I'm getting... woozy again.

(Jeremy's stomach rumbles.)

(He starts to vomit everything he has swallowed, returning to his normal size and being sent flying into the air.)

(Jeremy lands and faints. The friends cheer.)

Tom: Woo-hoo! Ben, you saved the town with that tech bracelet you hate.

Ben: Yes, I used this to solve a problem. So in a way, indirectly, I used tech. (touches bracelet, gets electrocuted) Ah!

(All laugh.)

(Scene cuts to the garage. Jeremy wakes up.)

Jeremy: What happened? What'd I do? And why does my tongue taste like a tire?

Ginger: You didn't do anything I wouldn't have done if I could grow a million times bigger and eat cars.

Tom: It's not what you did, Jeremy. It's what we did. We said you couldn't change, and that made you crazy.

Angela: But from now on, we're gonna help you stay clean.

Hank: (opens storage room door) We cleared out the storage area for you to live in. Now you don't have to sleep in the toilet.

Jeremy: Aww!

And so, from this day on, you'll see, Jeremy will be clea-

(stops singing) Oh, ow, ow, ow, ow, I need to lie down.

Tom: (puts down pillow) You do that, pal.

(Jeremy starts sleeping on the pillow.)

(Credits roll)