Ben's Digital Detox/Transcript

Ben: Behold! The next great invention from Tom and Ben Enterprises!

Angela: Is that a cake?

Ginger: Blech!

Ben: It certainly is. Since I'm not able to use tech thanks to this pesky anti-technology bracelet

[BEEPING]

Ben: --ugh. I'm developing lots of new skills, like baking.

Ginger: Did you get the recipe from a monster magazine? Ugh.

[DOOR OPENING]

Ben: Huh?

Angela: What do you have there, Tom?

Tom: Uh, heh.

Angela: Oh, but don't tell me if it's a present for me. Just wink.

Tom: [SIGH] This is the famous painting Portrait of the Artist as a Squiggly Man, OK? It's priceless. See? No price.

Ginger: That's famous art? It's so stupid! Let me post a FastaPic so--

Tom: Ah, oh no, ah! No one can know it's here. The town art museum flooded, and since I'm the mayor, I have to keep this safe. And it's a lot of pressure! [PANTING]

Ben: Fortunately, I have the antidote to stress. Cake!

[GASP]

[THEME MUSIC]

Ben: I don't need technology to be useful.

[BEEPING]

Ben: Watch this, bracelet! I can be a laundry genius! I can be a dusting master.

Tom: [COUGHING]

Ben: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I can be the most brilliant dishwasher in the whole-- whoa,whoa, whoa, whoa whoa whoa! No!

Tom: Ah! Ah! Ben, watch it! Your lousy washing almost hurt the squiggly man.

Ben: [WHIMPER]

Angela: I'm glad you asked for my help.I never use tech except when I make music, do shows, shoot

videos, or check my phone.

Ben: Well, I hope this works. Right now, I'm useless without technology.

Angela: Well, let's see how you did in your first lesson-- the grocery store.

Ben: OK, check it out. I tried to shop until I dropped. Whoa! Ah, ugh! [SCREAMING] Uh!

Angela: Yikes.

Ben: I've never been this low. It's a good thing no one in the science world can see me now.

Flo: Willing to use photosynthesis.

Mel: Yes, but you're reckoning without the presence of--

Angela: Uh, I don't to make a bad situation worse, but isn't that Mel and Flo,

Ben: [GASP]

Angela: --your enemies from the science world?

Flo: The geometrics of the trigonometry just--

Ben: Ah! [PANTING]

Flo: There you are, Ben.

Ben: Gah!

Flo: Were you trying to hide from us?

Mel: Not surprising, Ben. You're embarrassed about being kicked out of science and cannot bear our mockery. So--

Mel and Flo: (SINGING) Loser! loser! Loser, loser, loser! Loser! Loser, loser, loser!

Ben: Stop that! Stop it!

I will have you know that I was not kicked out. I, uh-- I got so rich from science that I left so others can be successful too.

Flo: Ugh, ridiculous. You're not rich.

Ben: That's no true! In fact, the squiggly man painting was just delivered to the garage today! So obviously, I'm doing very well.

Flo: But that painting is priceless. It has no price.

Ben: They make exceptions for successes, ahem, like me.

Mel: I told you we should have gone to a nursery to make fun of babies for not being able to count.

Ben: Ugh.

Angela: [CLEARS THROAT]

Ben: Guh.

Jeremy: Hey, I think I was in a Petri dish with that guy once.

Tom: Get your slime away from the art! No offense.

Jeremy: Oh, no offense taken. I am very slimy.

Ginger: Guys! I filled water balloons with hot mustard. Let's do this thing!

Tom: No, don't do that!

Hank: My muscles are cramping from watching TV all day. Can we all run into things for a while?

Tom: Ah! No! What is wrong with you? Hey, listen up! Now I have to keep this painting safe. If anything bad happens to it, I'll get in big, big trouble. Do you understand? Thank you. Now let's act like grownups whoa!

Hank: Tom, be careful with this thing! Sheesh.

Ben: It was close, but I found a way to keep

Mel and Flo off my back. By telling them about the fancy painting Tom brought to the garage. OK, look, they were laughing and dancing. It was terrible!

Angela: Ben, this is a huge betrayal of Tom's trust. He doesn't want anyone to know about the painting! You have to tell Mel and Flo to keep it a secret.

Ben: But then they'll think I'm not a famous art collector!

Angela: You're not! Go, now!

Ben: Don't worry, bracelet. I'm not here to use tech. I just had to explain to Mel and Flo.

Flo: So these are the possible entrances to Tom and Ben's garage.

Mel: Entry points are here, here, here, here, and here. We'll heist the painting-- -

Ben: Gah!

Mel: --and exit through here. This will fund our research for years. [CACKLING]

Flo: It's funny. In a way, Ben is finally contributing to science. [CACKLING]

Ben: I've got to get home and warn Tom!

Hank: Tom you're too stressed. Tell you what. Let's all go out and see a movie.

Tom: No, can't go out. I have to protect the painting.

Hank: No one even knows it's here, OK? Honestly, the biggest threat to that painting right now is us.

Ginger: Woo!

Tom: Gah! Uh. Oh. You know what? You might be right. I am too stressed out. Let's-- let's go.

Ben: Co-- come on! Change, Light, hurry!

'''Tom, Hank, Ginger, Jeremy: '''(SINGING) Going to a movie! Going to a movie! Going to a movie!

Ben: Uh! No, where did they go? I have to call them! Uh, gah! Ah! Stop it, bracelet! This is an emergency!

[BEEP]

Gah!

Ah!

[BEEPING]

Painting: Protect me, Ben! It's up to you!

Ben: Ah! I can't! I'm useless without tech. Oh, I'm only good at science.

Painting: But don't you see? Everything is science. Baking is chemistry. Dusting is physics, and dishwashing is water science.

Ben: Water science?

Painting: The point is, the power to protect me is in you!

Ben: The art hallucination is right! I can do this! [GRUNTING]

[KNOCKING] - [GASP]

Flo: Hello? [WHIMPERING]

Flo: Are you there? It's your good friends, Flo and Mel!

Mel: We have some new inventions we wanted to show you. Let us in.

Ben: Go away!

Mel: There's nothing you can do to stop us.

Ben: We'll see you about that.

Mel: Ah! Glitter!

Flo: My eyes! I need those to read the sides of flasks and beakers!

Mel: It takes then  glitter to stop a great scientist, Ben. It's pointless to-- whoa! [GROANING]

Ben: Ah ha! Pointless is right because marbles are round. They have no point!

Mel: [GROWL]  Gah!

Flo:  Oh!

Mel: [GROANING]

Flo: [GASPING]

Mel: Oh, the painting!

[BOING]

Flo: Oh-

Me: ah!

Ben: Heh heh heh. Nice try, but Ben came to this fight prepared.

Mel: And so did we. [CACKLING]

Ben: No! Stop! You stay back!

Flo: Or what? You'll dust us? Oh, face it, loser. Technology always wins, and you don't have any.

BEN (In Mind): “Dusting is physics.”

Ben: No, but I do have science! Ah!

Ben: And Baking is chemistry. And dishwashing is water science!

Mel: It's called hydrology, you rube!

Mel and Flo: [SCREAMING]

Ben: Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

Tom: Ah.

Hank: There! You see, Tom? Your painting was completely safe this whole time. It's just Ben in here making another cake.

Tom: Yeah. Nice progress, Ben.

Ben: Thank you. Turns out I don't need advanced tech to be useful. Making cakes, protecting art, kicking bad guy butt-- it's all part of being--

--a master scientist.

[Outro Music]