The Incredible Super-Fan/Transcript

The New Game
(Scene shows the garage. Ginger is playing a game on his phone, where Bongo appears onscreen.)

Bongo (on phone): Let's stop a crime now, huh?

(The friends are all on the couch playing the game on their phones.)

Ginger: Oh!

Tom: Whoo!

Ben: I've never been a fan of the Bongo & McGillicuddy show, but their new mobile game rules! (makes gesture at Tom and Angela)

Angela: (confused) Um...

Tom: Hm...

Ben: Get it? "Rules," because it's a game about law enforcement.

Ginger: Stop ruining it, Ben! This is the best app I ever played this week.

(Ginger's phone pings.)

Ginger: (gasps) My perp confessed! I just leveled up to "Bicycle Cop!" Woo! (gets up and dances, cheering) Uh-huh! Yeah! (gets back on couch)

Angela: I love how you can make your own character. (shows character) I'm playing as Jackie, a no-nonsense lady of the law who hates crime, and nonsense.

Ben: Ooh, don't mess with Jackie!

Tom: Wait, I just realized something! If we're loving this game, imagine how Hank, the world's biggest Bongo and McGillicuddy fan feels. This must be the best day of his life!

Ginger: Yeah, it must be!

(Hank enters screaming.)

Hank: This is the worst day of my life! Have you seen this new game? It's an insult! A joke! A slap in the face to our cartoon boys in blue!

Angela: Really? We all love it!

Tom: Yeah!

Angela: It's fun!

Hank: It's not fun, it's wrong! (points to Tom's phone) The shape of the police station is wrong. The rookie ranking system is wrong. And McGillicuddy's accent, it's ridiculous and also wrong!

Bongo (on phone): Let's stop a crime now, huh?

(Hank angrily groans.)

Tom: I guess we didn't notice all that. We just thought anything with Bongo & McGillicuddy in it has gotta be good. Right?

Hank: Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! (goes upstairs screaming in frustration)

(Theme song plays)

Hank's Plan
(Scene cuts to the bedroom. Hank reads reviews on the game on his tablet.)

Hank: Ugh! (reads review) Five stars, "this game rocks!" Oh, what do they know? (scrolls through reviews) Again, five stars! Ugh! Why can't they see how much better the show is? (turns on TV)

Bongo (on TV): We did it, McGillicuddy! We made a cake to surprise the chief on the anniversary of his first collar.

(McGillicuddy makes a monkey noise.)

Bongo: (laughs) Ain't that the truth! Sometimes if you want something done right, you just have to do it yourself. (winks)

Hank: Oh...! Bongo, you are so right! I have to do it myself! And I think I know just what "it" myself is going to do!

(Scene cuts to the park. Several people in the park are playing the game.)

Bongo (on phone): Let's stop a crime now, huh?

Hank: Attention, everyone! Do not play the Bongo & McGillicuddy mobile game!

Old Lady: Why not? I love that app!

Hank: You're playing a bad game! But don't worry, I have a better one!

(Hank takes out a board game.)

Hank: The only game that stays true to everyone's favorite TV cops, Bongo & McGillicuddy's Tabletop Adventure Game!

(Hank plays with the board game, rolling dice, moving game pieces and using cards.)

Hank: You see how fun this is? Oh, landed on a "Give Me Your Badge" space! That means I can stop playin' by the rules!

Man: Boring!

Surfer Driver: This one's lame! The phone game is great!

Hank: (screams) No! The game's all wrong! That's the whole point! (gasps) You don't even care!

Park Person: It's just a game!

Hank: Just a--? No, it's not! Bongo and McGillicuddy are my friends! Bongo and McGillicuddy are real!

(The people in the park laugh.)

Hank: Stop laughing! I'm serious! Bongo is real! McGillicuddy is real! My friendship with them is real! (echoing)

(Scene cuts to the garage. Hank bursts in. He goes to the storage room and takes a video camera. Hank chuckles.)

(Scene cuts to the living room. Tom, Angela, Ben and Ginger enter, still playing the game.)

Ginger: I love this game! Yes! I just arrested a smuggler and then bought his speedboat at a police auction.

Tom: I've got to catch up to you. I forgot to get a warrant and lost ten badges.

(Tom's phone screen statics, then shows Hank dressed up as a supervillain.)

Hank (onscreen): Attention! It is I, the Super Fan!

(Ben gasps.)

Ginger: What?

(Hank has an electric fan on his back.)

Hank: Get it? Super Fan! Multiple meanings!

Ben: That's Hank!

Hank: My message is simple: say goodbye to your precious Bongo & McGillicuddy mobile game, because at 6 o'clock tonight, it's game over... forever!

(The friends gasp.)

(Hank laughs evilly. He attempts to fly away using the electric fan, but crashes into the camera, knocking it over. He flies off into the sunset.)

Bongo & McGillicuddy in Disguise
Angela: What is Hank thinking?!

Ginger: I know, why wouldn't he edit out that last part?

Tom: We have to stop him!

Ben: But how?

Tom: Hmm...

Ben: We don't know where he is, or where he's going, and we don't have any way to find him!

Tom: That's easy! We just have to... huh? I don't know. Usually, Hank is the one who deals with the crime stuff.

Ginger: In the game, if a case is too tough, you can ask Bongo and McGillicuddy for advice.

Tom: I mean, if Bongo and McGillicuddy were here, they'd know what to do. Too bad they're not, and never will be.

(A knock is heard from the back door.)

(Tom opens the door. Bongo and McGillicuddy appear, though they are thinly disguised.)

Bongo: Hello, citizens! We're a couple of undercover cops, and as we patrolled this precinct, we couldn't help but perceive your predicament.

Tom: Have we met? You look familiar.

Bongo: No, no, we're out-of-town cops. I'm Morgan, (points to McGillicuddy) and this is Brad.

(McGillicuddy makes a monkey noise. Bongo nudges McGillcuddy away.)

Bongo: (chuckles) So, what do you say we offer yous a bit of police assistance and, uh, get hunting for your friend?

Tom: That's exactly what we needed! Come on, everyone.

Ginger: Huh?

Tom: Let's investigate!

Investigation
(Scene cuts to the lawn at the side of the garage. On the lawn is what appears to be a movie set.)

Bongo: (points out items) Backdrop, camera, script...

Angela: Hmm.

Bongo: Now, to your civilian untrained eye, this probably looks like nothing, but to me, it's a clue.

(Bongo traces the items on the floor with chalk.)

Bongo: (points to location) Hank must have recorded his video right here.

Ginger: If that's true, then somebody nearby might have seen something!

(Scene cuts to Roy's house. Bongo rings the doorbell, and Roy opens the door.)

Roy: How may I help you, officer?

Bongo: We're looking for your neighbor. Hank?

Roy: Oh, Hank! Yes, of course I saw him. He was flying into town. Laughing to himself and talking about needing a lot of electronics.

Bongo: Wait a minute, electronics? They sell those at the electronics store!

(Scene cuts to the Grape Store. The friends look at a very long receipt.)

Bongo: Yep, Hank was here, alright, and he bought a suspicious supply of electronics.

Tom: But why is Ronnie's name on that receipt? (gasps) He must've used Ronnie's discount card!

Angela: That means Ronnie probably knows where he's headed! I'm getting the hang of this!

Bongo: Oh, yeah.

(Scene cuts to an undisclosed street. Ronnie, Darren and another boy is playing the mobile game.)

Bongo (on phone): Let's stop a crime now, huh?

Ginger: (in the distance) Guys, look!

Boys: Run, let's get out of here! Ah, let's go!

(The boys run, but Ronnie falls and is left behind.)

Ronnie: Please! I can't go back to jail!

Ginger: You've never been to jail, Ronnie.

Ronnie: My mom drove past a jail once, and it was horrible!

Tom: Well, if you want to stay of trouble, you'd better start talking. Are you working with Hank?

Ronnie: (stuttering) He told me he'd use my card so I could get the points from his purchase if I showed him how to hook a magnet to a server.

Ben: What?

Tom: What?

Ginger: Hank is going to delete the game?! I'm gonna delete his face!!

Ronnie: I just wanted points! (starts crying) I've been saving up to get my own toaster for years!

Bongo: Quick, to the server district!

(Scene cuts to the server room.)

Bongo: (bursts in) Game's up, Hank!

Stopping Hank
Ben: This is where the game's data is stored.

(Ginger gasps in amazement.)

Bongo: Hmm.

Ben: Hmm.

(A figure briefly flies by.)

Ben: Wait, wait, wait, there he is!

(Hank is on top of a server. He laughs evilly, then presses a button.)

(A timer on the magnet starts, set to activate in two minutes.)

Hank: Ha! You're too late! When this countdown ends, my mega-magnet will erase all these servers!

Bongo: Nice plan, Super Fan, but you forgot about one thing: justice!

(Hank grunts, then flies to another location.)

Tom: Why are you doing this?!

Hank: I have to do this! The only way to stop people from liking the game is to stop the game from existing!

Tom: Hank, why can't people like a thing, even if you don't like it?

Hank: Because, I know more about my favorite show than any of those other people!

(Hank flies to the magnet.)

Hank: Ha-ha! The world will soon be a better place. All thanks to me, the Super Fan!

Ginger: You don't sound like a fan right now. You sound like a villain!

Hank: Wrong, Ginger. Wrong! I'm the hero in this story, and if they were here, Bongo and McGillicuddy would agree!

Revelation
Bongo: That's not true! And I should know, Hank...

(Hank growls.)

Bongo: ...because I'm... (removes disguise) Bongo!

(Hank gasps.)

Bongo: (removes McGillicuddy's disguise) And he's... McGillicuddy!

Hank: Bongo and McGillcuddy!

Tom: Bongo and McGillicuddy are real!

Bongo: Oh, we're real, alright. Real disappointed in our friend Hank.

Hank: Disapp- what? I was just trying to protect you! This game gets it all wrong! Look! (shows game on phone)

Bongo (on phone): There's always time for pizza!

Bongo: Hank, that game might have changed a few details about us.

Hank: Yeah, a few zillion!

Bongo: You know what it didn't change? Our love of fighting crime and righting wrongs. Can't you see that?

Hank: I... I thought I was helping. Oh, I can't believe I turned evil.

Angela: But you're not evil. You're Hank!

Tom: Yes!

Angela: And you can still fix this!

Hank: You're right. Server deletion order cancelled! (presses button)

(The timer continues.)

Hank: (gasps) Uh-oh.

Ben: Without that remote, there's no way to stop the countdown! The servers are gonna be destroyed! This whole adventure was for nothing!

Hank: Not if I can help it!

(Hank flies into the air.)

Ginger: (gasps) Whoa!

(Hank takes the magnet and flies into the sky. Several magnetic objects get attracted to the magnet.)

(On the ground, Ronnie is holding a toaster.)

Ronnie: (hugs toaster) Aw!

(The toaster is sucked into the air and hits the magnet.)

Hank: No, no, no!

(The load of magnetic objects becomes too heavy and Hank falls. He crashes into the park.)

Hank: (groans) (dizzily) I stopped a crime now, huh?

Goodbyes
(Scene cuts to the garage.)

Tom: Well, I'd never thought I'd say this, but... it's been nice meeting you, real Bongo and real McGillicuddy.

(McGillicuddy makes monkey noises.)

Ben: And before you return to your home... your reality, alternate, as it may be... I have a few quick questions regarding the scientific implications of your existence alongside ours. (clears throat and opens book) Given a construct of a... material universe...

Bongo: (laughs) Classic Ben. Always being a nerd! But, time for us to go. Hey, anyone seen Hank?

Ginger: Hank! Your cartoon friends are leaving!

(Hank is in the hammock upstairs, playing the game.)

Hank: Hang on, I want to earn bigger tires for my police plane!

Bongo: Okay, I guess he's got more important things to do right now! (laughs)

(Bongo and McGillicuddy fade away.)

Ben: Well...

Tom, Ben, and Angela: Huh?

Tom: Hmm...

(Bongo appears on the TV and laughs, then winks at the viewer before the TV turns off.)

(Credits roll)

(Episode ends)