Superhero Picnic/Transcript

Act I
(The scene shows Hank dressed as a superhero. He has a paper costume, half a pair of glasses and a paper cup in his hand. The scene shows a red and green background.)

Hank: Beware, supervillains, or face the might of Cyber-Hank and his trusty sidekick...

(The background turns to yellow.)

Ginger: (jumps onscreen) ...Sticky Ginger! (makes throwing gesture)

(A graphic with the name "Sticky Ginger" appears onscreen.)

Ginger: Holy helium! It's our archenemy, the Balloon-inator!

(Ginger points to a balloon with a face drawn on it.)

Hank: We have to stop him before he inflates the whole world! Time to download justice!

(Ginger and Hank leap towards the balloon.)

(Scene cuts to the kitchen, revealing that Hank and Ginger are simply pretending to be superheroes.)

(Hank hits the balloon. The balloon floats away.)

Hank: No!

(Tom, who takes a watermelon from the fridge, watches and laughs.)

(Ben is at the desk holding a device and screwdriver.)

Ben: Tom, put down the watermelon and help me with this!

Tom: (spins watermelon on finger) Got no time, Ben. Havin' a picnic with Angela this afternoon, huh?

Ben: You'll have plenty of time when you help me complete the Time Slower.

Tom: (holds basket of food) Angela's at the store right now pickin' out our grapes. This picnic is on. (leaves)

(Hank, still playing as a superhero, looks at Ben through his glasses lens.)

Ben: Stupid Tom... (rants inaudibly)

Hank: The Balloon-inator is making its move. Enter Observation Mode! Boop-boop-boop!

(Ben finds that the balloon has floated towards him.)

Ben: Wh-what's this doing here?!

(Hank and Ginger leap at Ben.)

Ginger: Cyber-Sticky-go-go!

(Hank and Ginger land on Ben, who is holding the balloon.)

Ben: Get off me! Stop it!

(Ben pushes Hank and Ginger off, who falls to the floor. Ben holds the balloon and starts squeezing it, growling.)

Ginger: Huh?

(Ben squeezes the balloon harder.)

(Hank and Ginger gasp.)

(Ben squeezes the balloon harder. The balloon pops.)

(Ben chuckles and wipes his hands.)

Ginger: Wha- wha-

Hank: You know, Ben, no matter how evil he was, that balloon deserved a trial.

(Ben growls.)

(Theme song plays)

Hank: (to Ben) Citizen, it is our sworn duty to be a firewall between you and crime.

Ben: (pushes past Hank, scoffs) Don't be a firewall to me! Play your game somewhere else.

Ginger: Mighty misunderstanding, Ben! (hops on chair) Superhero-ing isn't a game; it's big, grownup stuff. (sees box) Huh? Toys!

Ben: (picks up box) Don't touch that! It's my Fail Box, where I put all my inventions that don't work.

(The box handle breaks and the heavy box falls on Ben's foot. He screams in pain.)

(Ginger picks up a harmonica.)

Ginger: Whoa!

Ben: Don-

(Ginger plays the harmonica. It plays a belching noise.)

Ginger: (laughs) Yes! I love it! Why is this harmonica in your Fail Box? (giggles)

Ben: The Yuck-monica has lousy battery life. Now, please, stop touching-

Ginger: (opens container of slime) And what's this? Robot boogers?

Ben: I was trying to improve upon glue. I failed, so that only sticks to things if you throw it.

Hank: (holds flashlight) Oh-ho, and this could be Cyber-Hank's Cyber-Saber! (waves flashlight)

Ben: It's just a flashlight that's way too bright! Don't point it in my... (screams) eyes! Guys, go away! I need to work on my Time Slower!

Hank: Yeah, but... you're the only one around who needs to be kept safe from crime!

Ben: That's... not true! There are lots of other citizens to save, like, uh... like, uh... (laughs evilly) Tom and Angela! I hear their picnic is in peril.

Ginger: A perilous picnic? That doesn't sound very dangerous.

Ben: That's what the bad guys want you to think!

Hank: (in robotic voice) That logic computes. We've got to save Tom and Angela!

Ginger: Okay, but we have to take the Fail Box!

Ben: Fine, just go! Save somebody else!

(Hank and Ginger carry the Fail Box and leave.)

Act II
(Scene cuts to behind the garage. Tom and Angela are on a picnic mat and Hank and Ginger hide behind a bush.)

Tom: (to Angela) I don't want to ruin the surprise, but I heard that soon, we'll have plenty of even more of these picnics.

Angela: Oh, nice! Is Ben making a time-slowing machine?

Tom: (holds cupcake) Mm-hm.

(Hank notices a fly above Tom's cupcake.)

Hank: (in robotic voice) Bug detected. That villainous fly is about to destroy Angela's cupcake!

Ginger: (jumps out of bush) Dastardly desserts! Let's teach that fly to buzz off! (throws slime)

(The slime knocks the cupcake out of Tom's hand.)

Angela: Hey!

Hank: Download this, scoundrel! (points flashlight)

Angela: Oh! (chuckles) You don't need to fight the fly, guys. Flies are part of picnics, like ants, and sunburns in weird places.

Ginger: But Ben told us to protect you because you were in danger.

Tom: So, Ben put you up to this, huh?

Hank: Yeah, good thing!

Tom: Is it really a good thing? What do you guys know about supervillain mad scientists?

(Hank and Ginger gasp.)

Angela: Oh, yeah. A mad scientist would definitely be someone two brave superheroes would want to battle.

Hank: But the only mad scientist we know is Ben. Ben's not doing anything evil. He's just making some invention to control time.

Angela: But he could use that power to rob banks!

Hank: (gasps) You're right! Ben fooled us as if we were... fools!

Ginger: Not for long! Cyber-Hank and Sticky Ginger to the rescue!

(Hank and Ginger run back to the garage.)

(Scene cuts back to the garage. Ben is using a soldering gun.)

Hank: Hold it right there, Doctor... hm... Slowpoke! Dr. Slowpoke, that's a good name!

Ben: (sighs, removes soldering mask) I'd thought I pushed you off onto Tom and Angela. G-go back outside. I'm busy! (puts mask back on)

Ginger: Your mind games won't work on us, Dr. Slowpoke! The time has come to stop you from stopping time! (throws slime)

Ben: Whoa! (removes mask) What are you talking about?! The Time Slower is a miraculous, world-improving invention! (laughs evilly)

Hank: World-improving? Doesn't sound evil.

Ginger: Not sounding evil is an obvious supervillain trick! Don't fall for it, Cyber-Hank!

Hank: Excellent point, Sticky Ginger. The one thing that doesn't stick to you is lies. (to Ben) Step away from the Time Slower, Dr. Slowpoke.

Ben: Stop calling me that!

Ginger: Cyber-Sticky, get the supervillain!

(Hank and Ginger leap at Ben.)

Ben: I'm not a supervillain!

(Ben hurriedly changes settings on the Time Slower and fires the trigger at Hank and Ginger.)

(Ben gasps as Hank and Ginger are frozen midair.)

Ben: Well, how about that? It works! (presses Hank's nose) Hoo, hoo! (chuckles)

(Ben walks past them.)

(Scene cuts. Hank and Ginger are tied-up, upside-down, and gagged with the sticky slime. They make muffled cries.)

Ben: Sorry to take such extreme measures, but I need to finish my work. I hope you don't mind hanging around until I'm done! (laughs evilly)

(Scene cuts back to the picnic.)

Angela: (sighs, bored) We're having a... (eats cherry) great time. This is a lot more fun than playing superheroes, like Hank and Ginger, right?

(Ben's evil laughs are heard from outside.)

Angela: It does not sound like they're having a good time in there, does it?

Tom: No. Not one bit.

Angela: Hm... I kind of want to be a superhero, too!

Tom: Me too! Oh, I'm so glad you said that! Hmm...

(Tom and Angela spot the Fail Box.)

Angela: Yes! We can get costumes from here!

Tom: Woo! Let's go fight evil!

Act III
(Scene cuts back to the office. Hank and Ginger are still tied-up and Ben is soldering.)

Ben: Stop that mumbling! It's making it very hard to get into my workflow.

Ginger: (spits out slime) We'll never stop, Dr. Slowpoke, not until you've been vanquished!

Ben: I am not a supervillain! Besides, who's going to vanquish me? You guys are all tied-up! (rimshot, laughs) Man, I am on today!

(The door opens.)

Ben: Huh?

(Tom and Angela enter in superhero costumes. Tom wears a basket on his head and a cape and Angela wears a mask made from a paper plate.)

Tom: Yeah!

Angela: (gasps) Hank! Ginger! What happened?!

Ginger: You were right about Dr. Slowpoke! He wants to freeze us all in time!

Ben: That's not what I'm doing! (to Tom and Angela) And who are you two supposed to be, anyway?!

Angela: Well, (clears throat) I'm the Dynamic Diva! Fighting evil with the power of song! (sings notes)

Tom: And I'm Tom... Man! Oh, uh... I'm Tom... Guy. Wait, okay, look, I didn't come up with a cool superhero name yet, but I will, I promise.

Angela: Tom Guy, sh. The point is, why are Hank and Ginger tied up? (pulls rope)

(Hank and Ginger fall and land on a pillow.)

Ben: Because I no longer have time for any more interruptions! And unfortunately for you guys, you are interrupting me. (points Time Slower)

Ginger: Hey!

Tom: Ben, oh, no!

(Ben laughs and pulls the trigger.)

(The friends, except Ben, are frozen in place. When they are unfrozen, Ben has vanished.)

Ginger: Vanishing villains! Where did Ben go?!

Ben: I'm right here!

(Ben is seen wearing a horned helmet.)

Ben: I stopped time so I could change into this bad-guy costume. It just happens to look good on me, and if you must know, I also had a snack and took a little nap.

Angela: Ben's all-villain now, but it's a good thing we have a supervillain's one weakness... (sings) a superhero team!

Hank: Woo! (laughs, holds flashlight)

(Ginger throws a ball of slime.)

(Angela plays the Yuck-monica.)

Tom: Yeah! (holds watermelon)

Ben: How dare you all distract me from my work?!

Angela: Get the Time Slower!

Hank: Woo!

(The friends all charge at Ben and surround him.)

(Ginger throws a ball of slime. Ben fires the Time Slower at the slime, then tosses it aside.)

Ginger: Aw, no fair!

(Ben points the Time Slower at Ginger, but is blocked by Hank.)

Hank: Don't worry, Sticky Ginger. Boop-boop-boop! Attack now! (points flashlight at Ben)

Ben: Ow! Hah-hah, ya-ya...

(The helmet's horns begin to glow. Ben laughs as the helmet emits its own light at Hank.)

Tom: Ah, the light!

Hank: He's using his helmet against us! Boop-boop-boop! (screams and leaps into couch)

(Ben laughs.)

Angela: (leaps) Cover your ears, everyone. Let the Diva take this verse. (blows into harmonica)

(The belching noises make Ben dizzy. Ben fires the Time Slower at Angela, then replaces her harmonica with a ukulele.)

(Angela groans. Ben laughs.)

Tom: Hey, Ben? (makes unintelligible moves)

Ben: What is your power supposed to be?

Tom: Uh... it's... a good one! You'll see... soon... right after this.

Ben: Enough! (points Time Slower) Time to end this.

(Ginger screams and leaps towards Ben in slow-motion.)

(Ginger lands on Ben.)

Ginger: Gotcha! Nice distraction, Tom!

Tom: Oh, distraction. That's my super-thing.

(Ginger tickles Ben's armpit. Ben laughs. Ginger takes the Time Slower out of Ben's hands and throws it to Hank.)

Ben: Nooo!

Hank: (catches Time Slower) Ah-ha! (fires machine)

Act IV
(Scene cuts. Ben is tied-up.)

Ginger: Looks like the only thing you'll be inventing now is tears, Dr. Slowpoke-Crybaby! (sucks thumb mockingly)

Ben: I get it, I got carried away, but I just wanted to finish the Time Slower, and then Hank and Ginger kept distracting me!

Tom: Well, you have no one to blame but yourself.

Angela: Mmm...

Tom: Oh, all right, we sent them in, but only so we could have a picnic by ourselves.

(Hank and Ginger gasp.)

Ginger: Wait a minute! This was all so you two could do your kiss-barfing! (growls)

Hank: Wow, classic superhero backstab. Life is a graphic novel, I guess.

(Ginger takes the Time Slower out of Hank's hands and points it at Tom, Ben and Angela.)

Tom, Ben, Angela: No!

(The Time Slower is activated.)

Act V
(Scene cuts. Tom, Angela and Ben are tied-up upside down.)

Ginger: This machine is far too powerful to be left in your hands. Cyber-Hank, we've got a town to protect.

Hank: I'm with you, Sticky-Ginger!

(Ginger and Hank leave.)

Ben: Well, I wouldn't worry. They'll break that thing soon enough.

(Hank and Ginger are seen in superhero sequences. Hank and Ginger leap forward, and Ginger throws his slime at the viewer.)

(Credits roll)