Hank the Millionaire/Transcript

[ The episode begins with Tom & Friends at the diner with Ben making study]

Ben: ( mumbles then finishes) After a careful study I have determined that this place does in fact have the best burgers in the known universal.

Tom: Well yeah, I mean especially if you order off the secret menu.

Angela: Oh I love the secret menu, it makes me feel so mysterious.

Tom: you can get the square bun style, that's where the burger has a square bun. Or double onion style. ( obvious) Oddly that's triple onions, or the Talking Tom which is just a regular burger but they named after me.

Hank: I'm gonna get mine free style. That's where get a burger and it's free. Eh?

Tom: ( pushes his finger) I don't think free style is a real thing.

Angela: There's a freeze style where the meat is still frozen.

Ginger: And freak style where the burger really freaks you out.

Hank: Oh. ( blows) Well what about the double secret menu?

Tom: ( surprised) There's a double secret menu?

Hank: No I made it up. Can anyone give me money to buy a burger? ( everyone pretends no to hear, ehile Hank groans Talking Tom & Friends Theme)

[ Later Tom ran to the bathroom when Hank came out]

Hank: Hey what kind of a dirty rotten world to we live in? ( stopping Tom from getting in not knowing he has the go) Where you always have to pay for a hamburger, how is that fair?

Tom: Hank I was about to, umm...

Hank: I mean seriously, I already payed for rent, and electricity, and TV theme song downloads. I'm not made of money Tom.

Tom: No.

Hank: I'm not a tree.

Tom: No.

Hank: I'm not a dog of means. ( Tom groans when Angela closed the bathroom door)

Tom: If your short on cash, why don't you just try Cash Kicker?

Hank: Wait, cash-o what now?

Tom: It's that website where you ask people for money, and if they think it's for a good reason they give it to you. ( gives to Hank and waits for Angela)

Hank: Whoa you think a cash kicker campaign could get as much as $3.00?

Tom: It could if the video where beg for money is convincing enough. ( Tom happy when Angela finishes he runs in, while Hank gets an idea)

[ Hank now makes his videos a little awkward]

Hank: ( holding a picture of a hamburger) Hi everyone, my name is Frank-- uh no it's not

[ next video]

Hank: ( now holding the picture upside down) I need to eat a hamburger, and I need you to help me achieve that lofty and delicious goal. Uh, hold on I pointed the wrong way.

[ next video]

Hank: ( in a funny voice) I'm Hank's tummy, and me want hamburger. Me so hungry.

[next video]

Hank: I heard these campaigns go better if I make this personal, so this message is going out to you Beth, and you Kristoff, and Amy. But not you Mike. Definitely not you. I'm not going to mention your name, Mike.

[ Hanks records Angela singing about what he wants]

Angela: ( singing) He doesn't want your loving. He doesn't want no fame. He just wants a hamburger. So please give Hank a hamburger. Live your dreams!

Hank: Yeah, I think we got it.

Tom: Yeah!

[ now Ben has a video]

Ben: ( to the viewers) Hank's project is an insult to everyone with a real CashKicker campaign, like my campaign. ( shows a campaign on a hologram) I perfecting the ability to create hand-held holograms. With this amazing new technology, you can be holding something and then... ( the device goes poof and disappears) Surprise! It was a hologram! ( back being angry) Anyway it's better than Hank's burger thing. That guy's not gonna raise a dime. ( scoffs)

[ Soon The Cash Kicker said raised a million dollars]

Tom: ( surprised) You raised a million dollars on Cash Kicker?

Hank: ( holding a burger) Yeah I only needed three, turns out it was as easy as you said it would be. ( eats the burger)

Ben: But this flies in the face of statistics, and logic, and physics! In no sane world this has happen!

Hank: What can I say? I guess people just like the idea of buying me a hamburger. ( Ben screams and grunts to the door)

Tom: ( pretty amazed) Wow! okay, wow! This changes everything. We're gonna have to buy a fancy new car, and then we're gonna drive that fancy new car on a boat-- ( now thinking) wait that might ruin the boat. ( still happy) Oh, wait, it doesn't matter. We got a million dollars!

Hank: Yeah, uh, about that... ( Ben opens the door and packets of burgers pile on him) We don't have the money anymore, cause I spent it all on hamburgers.

Tom: ( shocked) You what?! ( shakes him) Why would you do that?

Hank: Tom, people gave me this money for one reason: to buy burgers.

Tom: Still, I mean you could've saved some money for like a helicopter, or two you know something small.

Hank: Look your Cash Kicker idea was super great, I wanted a burger, I got a ridiculous amount of burgers ( Tom grunts) I made a giant burger mountain in the backyard, and now I'm eating a burger. Everything worked out fine, Tom. You want a burger? ( Tom walks away while Hank eats when Ginger appeared)

Ginger: ( coming out of the pile) Congratulations, on your success Hank. Your my hero!

Hank: Well, the secret is asking in a way that makes people want to give.

Ginger: ( holding a tablet) Yeah, and making crazy promises. Like promising you'd eat a burger woth anyone who gave you money? Totally stupid. I love it!

Hank: ( confused) I said what? That doesn't sound like me. ( Ginger shows him the video he made)

Hank on video: ( smiling, while holding a burger picture) And anyone who gives me money will to sit down with me and personally watch me eat the burger.

Hank: ( gasps, surprised and suspicious) That does sound like me, and it looks like me too, so either I have an evil twin. ( gasps again) Or I am the evil twin.

Ginger: Hank, I just your my hero, and heroes always keep their promises. And since I contributed one penny to your campaign, I demand you eat a hamburger NOW!!!! ( his voice echos and shakes the garage)

Hank: ( thinking) Well a promises is a promise. ( eats another hamburger and sighs)

[ now Hank's stomach was filling up with burgers, while Hank was sitting on the couch]

Hank: ( to the viewers) So, apparently I own everyone my million dollars while a backer, so one on one burger time. That's a lot of burger time. But maybe Ginger is the only one who cares. Maybe most of those people won't even call in for their reward. ( his phone rings and soon...) Your calling in for your reward?

[ Now everyone was sitting with Hank while watching him eating a burger]

Mother: Remember, there are hungry children in the world. So don't waste any sauce and finish the bun.

[ Now Angela]

Angela: This is totally my fault. If I'd done such a good job singing, less people would've given money and you wouldn't be in these position.

Hank: ( preserve her) Aw, don't say that. There's a lot going on in that video.

Angela: ( not really keeping it) No, Hank. I was really, really good, and now I have to live with that. ( gives him a bigger burger) Just eat this quickly. ( Hank groans) I'm sorry I did this to you.

[ Now MC]

MC: Oh, yeah! A b-b-b-b-burger, burger, burger in the house. It's Hank eating a burger time y'all. Eat, eat, eat, eat, eat.

[ Now Rhonda]

Hank: Uh, I just ordered a small water.

Rhonda: ( holding a