Bye, Bye, Bongo!/Transcript

Hank: Nooooooo! No, no, no, no, no!

Tom: Hank, is everything alright?

Hank: (sniffs) No, Tom. Everything is not alright. Something very, very bad has happened.

Ben: (sighs) I'll get the heavy-duty plunger.

Hank: Ooh, we can't plunge our way out of this one! My favorite TV show, "Bongo and McGillicuddy," is ending. Cancelled! Forever!

Tom: Oh. It's okay, Hank. (chuckles) There are plenty of other shows out there.

Hank: (sniffs) Not shows I care about so much that I'd write an entire unauthorized fan guide about 'em. (throws it on the floor)

Ben: (picks it up) Wow! Very thorough.

(Ben starts reading it.)

Hank: I wish there was a way I could go right into the TV and convince Bongo and McGillicuddy not to retire. (to himself) Please don't retire!

Ben: Well, now that you mention it, that might just be possible.

Hank: Yeah! Yeah! Wa-hoo! (bangs head)

Ben: With technology, Hank. I meant with technology.

Tom: Sweet jump though. You got some serious air!

(Intro.)

Ben: I call this the Screen Door! Because it turns TV screens into interdimensional doors! Get it?

Hank: Yes! I can go into the TV and convince Bongo and McGillicuddy to keep on being the loose cannon cops!

Tom: Wait, that sounds dangerous...

Ben: Oh, it's very dangerous. Because it could leave Hank stranded inside the TV... or even worse!

Tom: So that means don't use it.

Ben: Not until we do a full week of testing and another week of result looking.

Hank: (sighs) Okay... safety first I guess... Hey is that a computer thing?!

Tom: Huh?

Ben: A computer thing? Where?

Hank: (steals remote, running to the TV)

Tom: What are you doing? Stop!

Hank: Okay Bongo and McGillicuddy, here I come! (goes through the screen)

(Remote falls to the ground, causing it to fall apart.)

Ben: Oh no!

(Hank is now inside Bongo and McGillicuddy's world.)

Hank: The New Town City Police Department Super Duper Bad Guys Unit? (gasp) Home of the greatest crime fighting duo in the world!

Bongo: McGillicuddy?

Hank: (another gasp)

Bongo: The condensation from your banana smoothie made a ring on my report! At least on our last day of work, can't you use a coaster?!?!

McGillicuddy: (orangutan noises)

Hank: Bongo! McGillicuddy! Listen to me!

Bongo: I told you we'll be out of here in a few-

McGillicuddy: (orangutan noises)

Bongo: Hank? Is it really you?

Hank: Huh?

Bongo: Wow! I can't believe it!

Hank: What are you talking about?

Bongo: You're Hank from TV! We never miss an episode of Talking Tom and Friends!

Hank: Whaaaaa?

(Scene goes back to Tom and Ben, trying to fix the Screen Door.)

Ben: It's broken!

Tom: Are you sure? Try shaking it!

Angela: Hey guys! Huh?

Ginger: Oh cool! Hank's on Bongo and McGillicuddy!

Angela: Uhh, wait, how did Hank get in the TV?

Ginger: Out of my way!

Tom: Oh, just Ben letting him use an untested dangerous sciency thingy.

Ben: No, Hank's in there because Tom the Slowpoke couldn't catch him before he jumped through the TV screen!

Tom: Hey, Hank is very agile! For a guy who spends so much time not moving...

(Scene returns to Hank, Bongo and McGillicuddy.)

Bongo: Hahahaha! That's so Tom! Wow, I can't believe I'm actually meeting the star of my favorite TV show!

Hank: Wait, I don't understand, I thought I was meeting the stars of my favorite TV show! I even wrote the unofficial Bongo and McGillicuddy fan guide, see? That's why I'm here, to save your show! You guys can't retire! Why you're the best detectives New Town City has ever seen! Do you know how many villians are behind bars just because of you? The Tickler, Professor Jerkface, even your greatest foe of all, Dr. Technology!

McGillicuddy: (orangutan noises)

Bongo: I'm with you McGillicuddy! Sending Dr. Technology to jail all those times were some of the proudest moments of our career.

Chief Buzzcut: Bongo! McGillicuddy! I want your badges on my desk now!

Bongo: Well but I'm sorry Hank, it's time for us to quit the force. I'm getting too old for this shift.

McGillicuddy: (orangutan noises)

(Scene cuts to Chief Buzzcut's office. Bongo and McGillicuddy are putting their badges on the desk.)

Chief Buzzcut: I'm gonna miss you two. Younger cops just don't get it. They're not loose cannons, and they play by the real rules, not their own!

Hank: (sighs) I just can't believe that Bongo and McGillicuddy is ending.

Chief Buzzcut: I can't believe our entire dimension is just a TV show in your dimension! Ooh, what a crazy Monday.

(Ben's desk gets sucked into the TV dimension. Everyone freaks out.)

Chief Buzzcut: It's only getting crazier!

McGillicuddy: (orangutan noises)

(Camera is pointing at the TV.)

Tom: Hey Ben, why did your desk disappear?

Ben: Oh dear. It seems Hank's trip into the TV has linked our universes. If he doesn't get back here, everything in our dimension will be sucked into the TV dimension just like he was!

Angela: I'm no scientist, but that sounds like it can cause an interdimensional collision.

(Ben's tablet gets sucked into the TV dimension.)

Hank: Oh no! I came here to save your show but now I have to get back home to save mine! (gets idea) Quick, hand me the interdimensional TV transporter!

McGillicuddy: (orangutan noises, in confusion)

Hank: What do you mean? It's a high tech thing that can send me through the TV! You know?

McGillicuddy: (orangutan noises, in confusion)

Hank: Here, look! Season 4, Episode 3, "The One With All The Thievery". Ah! Here it is! Interdimensional TV transporter! (gasp) Uh oh...

McGillicuddy: (orangutan noises, in confusion)

Hank: It was stolen by your greatest foe of all, Dr. Technology!

McGillicuddy: (orangutan noises)

Bongo: Wait a minute McGillicuddy, you're right! That stolen transporter was never recovered!

Hank: Alright boys, let's go to the jail and ask the doctor a few police-type questions.

Chief Buzzcut: I've got some bad news. Dr. Technology escaped from jail. And you boys can't chase 'em because your badges are on my desk!

(Hank tries to steal a donut.)

Chief Buzzcut: Now I'm going to close my eyes, and if them badges are gone when I open 'em, well, hey, that's what I get for closing my eyes. (whistling)

(Bongo and McGillicuddy take their badges, and Hank tries to steal a donut again. Scene cuts to Tom, Ben and the others' world.)

Angela: Would you two stop all this arguing? We need a solution here!

Tom: And I already offered one! We have to find a way to get Hank back!

Ben: That's not a solution Tom, that's literally just stating our goal!

Ginger: QUIET! I'm trying to watch Bongo and McGillicuddy and Hank over here and you three are busy being silly and I've about had it with all the SILLINESS!!! Ugh!

Tom: Ginger's right. All we can do is watch the Hank show and hope for a happy ending.

(The sofa Tom, Angela and Ginger were sitting on gets sucked into the TV dimension. Scene cuts to a montage of Hank, Bongo and McGillicuddy searching for Dr. Technology.)

Hank: Dr. Technology! Nice of you to show up. Please make yourself comfortable, because you're gonna be here all night!

Bongo: Wow, I've never seen someone be both the good cop and the bad cop. This guy is good... and bad.

Dr. Technology: Bongo? McGillicuddy? Who is this guy?

Hank: I'll ask the questions here! You slimy rotten... suspect who's innocent until proven guilty! Now tell me what you did with the interdimensional TV transporter or I'll make sure you go to a jail which doesn't let bad guys watch TV!

Dr. Technology: I... have no idea where that thing is!

Hank: Huh, really? Then maybe you would be kind enough to explain, what this was doing in your cell!?!? (pulls out an electric toothbrush)

Dr. Technology: My electric toothbrush? I use it to brush my... teeth!

Hank: Oh... alright Bongo and McGillicuddy, let's get back to HQ, we've hit a dead end.

Dr. Technology: (smiles)

Hank: I juuuust have one final question? If this really is an "electric toothbrush", why are your teeth so much more yellow than in your appearances in Season 4, 6 and 15?

Dr. Technology: Gah! (small pause while Dr. Technology is scared)

Hank: Wouldn't someone with an electric toothbrush have a brighter smile!?

Dr. Technology: (gets up from his seat and tries to escape)

Bongo: Don't let him get away!

Hank: Nooooooo!

(Everyone tries to catch Dr. Technology, while Hank gets his "electric toothbrush" and deactivates the portal, making him bang his head.)

Hank: Aha!

Bongo: Wait a minute, you knew that toothbrush was a TV transporter the whole time? Wow, incredible police work!

Dr. Technology: How did you notice the tint of my teeth?

Hank: Because I'm a loose cannon that plays by my own rules!

Bongo: And you're also the writer of the unofficial Bongo and McGillicuddy fan guide! Or should I say... (sticks badge to the guide) official!

Hank: (gasp)

Dr. Technology: Well at least I'm being sent to jail by the best. Bongo, McGillicuddy, you could really learn something from this guy.

Hank: I'll be the judge of that!

Bongo: Hank you can actually stop with the "good cop, bad cop" thing. We solved the crime.

Hank: Haha! Yeah!

(Scene cuts to a hallway. Everyone is congratulating to Bongo, McGillicuddy and Hank's success.)

Bongo: Thank you, thank you, thank you. But we could've done it without Hank. Or should I say, Honorary Detective Hank!

Hank: Wow! I don't know what to say! This is all I've ever wanted!

Chief Buzzcut: Bongo! McGillicuddy! You gave a beloved TV star illegal access to our police material, and let him interrogate a suspect!? I shall take your badges! (...) And polish them and give it back to you, because you got results!

Bongo: Well chief that's good to hear, because me and McGIllicuddy have decided to stay on the force... forever!

(Big applause.)

Cop: Yeah!

Hank: Well, everything turned out just the way I would have wanted! (sigh) A happy ending!

(Scene cuts to Tom and Ginger in the real dimension.)

Ginger: Tom? Does this mean Hank isn't coming home? Like... ever?

Tom: I hope he does Ginger. He's a honorary detective now. It's what he's always wanted.

(The chair Ben was sitting on gets sucked into the TV dimension. Scene returns to Hank, Bongo, McGillicuddy and the rest.)

Hank: Oh, right. As much as I want to stay here and be a loose cannon who plays by his own rules, I have to get home fast, before my world gets cancelled! Bongo, McGillicuddy, background actors playing cops, thank you for the adventure of a lifetime. Random cop, I never got to know you, but (sniff) I think I'll miss you most of all. (sigh) There's no place like home... There's no place like home... There's no-

Bongo: Oh that's not how it works, you just hit the red button.

Hank: Oh, I-I knew that!

(Hank goes through the TV.)

Bongo: Wait Hank you forgot your badge! (throws it through the TV too)

(After Hank went through the TV, he went unconscious for ~9 minutes.)

Hank: Uhhh, what happened? Am I home?

Tom: Ooof course you are? You just dove into the TV and knocked yourself out for like nine minutes.

Hank: But- but I was just in the TV! Bongo was there, aaand McGIllicuddy was there, an-

Ben: You must have just dreamt all that when you hit your head.

Hank: Oh really? Then how do you explain this honorary detective badge I got? (while pulling out the electric toothbrush)

Tom and Ben: (giggles)

Hank: What?

Tom: I'm glad you're home buddy.

Hank: Huh? Ooh! (...) Thank you Bongo and McGillicuddy! (wink)

(Outro.)