Everybody Hates Tom/Transcript

Act I
(Scene shows the garage. Several movers are seen moving items from the garage into a moving truck.)

(Inside, Tom and Ben are at the desk. Hank enters with a sandwich.)

Hank: Hm, are we remodeling? Did we win a house-decoration show contest?

Ben: No, Hank. We're finally being evicted because we're broke! Our savings are down to one coin.

Hank: (gasps) No! I'm not ready to be garage-less!

Tom: I know. It's bad. Our only hope is that our newest invention is a massive hit that saves the company!

Ben: The reviews will post any minute. If people don't like it, we'll lose the garage- and the business!

Tom: Don't talk like that! We'll do whatever it takes to keep this team together- whatever it takes.

Male Mover: Excuse me. (takes desk)

(Hank's sandwich falls. A robot erects legs and a hand and picks it up, handing it back to Hank.)

Hank: Oh, thanks. So, this is the new invention, huh? A food-returner! Interesting.

Ben: We call it the Helping Hand. It helps you do small chores by giving you a helping hand, hence the name.

(The male mover tries to pry the laptop from Tom.)

Tom: No, not yet! We need a minute!

Mover: Huh?

(A video is played on the laptop.)

Tech Reviewer: The new helping hand from Tom and Ben Enterprises is awful...

(Hank, Ben and Tom gasp.)

Tech Reviewer: ...awfully good! It's great at opening pickle jars, and I own a lot of pickle jars. (shows stack of pickle jars) Highly recommended!

(A thumbs-up icon appears onscreen.)

Ben: Oh, that's a good start, but one review won't be enough to save us.

Short Reviewer: The Helping Hand is great for reaching high shelves when you're a little guy like me.

(The reviewer's Helping Hand is seen retrieving a ball from a high shelf. A thumbs-up icon appears onscreen.)

Cool Reviewer: Anyone without a Helping Hand is missin' out on the next big thing.

(A thumbs-up icon appears onscreen.)

Reviewer 4: Buy a helping hand now, will ya?

(Many more positive reviews appear onscreen.)

Tom: We did it! Our invention is a hit!

(The friends cheer.)

Tom: Movers, you can put everything back because all our problems are over! (fist-bumps Helping Hand)

(Theme song plays)

(Scene cuts to a talk show. Tom and Ben are being interviewed by a reporter.)

Talk Show Host: (to audience) With us are Tom and Ben, inventors of the Helping Hand, the must-have tech breakthrough of the year. Tom, Ben, thanks for coming on the show.

Tom: Glad to be here. You know, since our invention came out, things have been... just the best.

(The scene shows Tom in an alley, knocking on a secret door with Angela.)

Tom: (narrates) We got invited to the best parties.

(Tom enters the door to find a disco party.)

Angela (in flashback): Tom, I recognize people here from magazines!

Tom (in flashback): Don't be nervous. Since you're my girlfriend, that's how people are gonna recognize you!

(The flashback cuts to the garage. Hank accepts a trophy mailed to the garage.)

Tom: We won the best awards.

Hank (in flashback): (reads trophy) "World's Greatest Company." Hm, I'll put it with all the others.

(Hank throws the trophy into a large pile of trophies.)

(The flashback changes to the park. Ginger, who is being filmed by Tom and Ben, is wearing a vest that allows him to float in midair.)

Tom: (narrates) We had the best time.

Ben (in flashback): The people who made this hover-vest want to know if we can give it our endorsement.

Ginger (in flashback): (flies) Whee!

(End of flashback. Scene cuts back to the talk show.)

Tom: But more than anything, we had the best feeling, knowing that we had made the world a better place.

(The audience applauds. The host tears up and a Helping Hand bot offers her a tissue.)

(Scene cuts to a tech conference. Tom and Ben are onstage.)

Ben: (to audience) People ask what's next for us. I don't want to give it away, but let's say I have plans to colonize a planet that rhymes with "Blaturn."

Tom: And I want to take up surfing! Never had time before, but now that everything is good forever, I'm ready to hit those waves.

(A Helping Hand bot changes the stage backdrop to an image of Tom surfing. The audience cheers.)

(Unbeknownst to Tom and Ben, Roy is hidden among the audience.)

Tom: Now, let me tell you a story. It begins in a garage where two good friends had one big dream. There would be good days and bad days, but through it all, we had...

(The audience becomes distracted, looking at their phones worriedly.)

Tom: Uh... hello? Kinda giving a presentation up here?

(The Helping Hand bot changes the backdrop to a video of a news broadcast. The reporter is in a street where the people are panicking.)

Reporter: It's chaos in the streets as the Helping Hands go out of control. Cheeks have been slapped...

(A Helping Hand bot is seen slapping Wesley.)

Wesley: Ow!

Reporter: ...wedgies have been given...

(A Helping Hand bot is carrying a bag of groceries when it suddenly gives a wedgie to a man.)

Reporter: ...and valuables have been stolen.

(A Helping Hand bot runs away with a bag of money as Rhonda is tied to a lamppost.)

Reporter: What careless inventor could have let this happen?

(A Helping Hand bot pulls down the reporter's pants.)

Reporter: (maintains composure) This just in, I've been pantsed by one of these mean machines.

(End of broadcast. The crowd begins jeering.)

Woman: We have to get out of here! Run! Beware the hands!

Man: How could you do this to us?!

Boy: We trusted you!

Ben: Let's stay calm! I'm sure this is a minor glitch that only affects... (checks phone and is shocked) e-every Helping Hand in the world?!

(The Helping Hand bot's light turns red and the bot leaps at Ben.)

Man 2: (throws potato) Take that!

Ben: (catches potato) Who brings a potato to a tech conference?

(More audience members start throwing food.)

Tom: There's no time to wonder about that, Ben! We have to go!

(Tom rips the Helping Hand bot off of Ben and throws it aside. The bot is damaged.)

(Tom and Ben run offstage.)

Act II
(Scene cuts to the garage. A large, angry mob has appeared in front of the garage, booing the company.)

Protester 1: Show yourself!

Protester 2: Come on out!

Protester 3: We want answers!

(Ginger looks at the protests through the front door window.)

Ginger: (reads sign) "The helping hand should be banned."

Angela: Get away from the window! If we ignore them, maybe they'll leave.

Ginger: Doubt it. They're setting up tents, and I see a gift shop!

Hank: (gasps) Boy, I don't think it's ever been this bad. What do you think, has it ever been this bad?

Ben: No, and I don't see how a commercial is going to fix things.

Tom: It's an apology ad. It's what tech companies do when they screw up. (plays video)

Tom (on video): You trusted us. And we let you down. But we also hurt you.

(Hank is seen in the background before running away.)

Tom (on video): And we want you to trust us again. (makes pleading face)

(video ends)

Tom: Perfect, but maybe the music could be a bit more sorrier.

(A loud bang is heard. One of the protesters manage to pull down the "O" in the garage's sign.

Ginger: They want more than an apology.

Angela: You know, something isn't right. Your inventions don't go crazy for no reason.

Hank: Right. We need to get to the bottom of this. But how?

(A rope appears, Roy drops from ceiling with a cardboard box.)

Tom: Roy? What are you doing here?

Roy: I apologize for the dramatic entrance, but you boarded-up all the doors. Anyway, I have something for you.

(The box opens and a Helping Hand emerges from the box.)

Ginger: It's a bad machine! Squish it!

Roy: (closes box) Hey, easy there, huh? I caught it raiding my sock drawer. Probably trying to steal my socks. I thought this thing could help you figure out what went wrong.

Hank: Roy, you're such a good neighbor!

Tom: No, no, he's not! This is just his way of embarrassing me, or making me look bad, or... err... err... (sighs) something.

Roy: Gosh, I'm so sorry you think that! I just thought Ben could reprogram this thing or do some science stuff!

Angela: Actually, I have a better idea!

(Hank pulls pulley that pulls the box off the bot. The bot takes a pearl necklace and runs away.)

Angela: I saw on the news that the hands have been stealing from people. Nobody knows where they're bringing the things they steal. So, if we follow it, we might be able to figure out who's behind this!

(The friends follow the bot in a street, then into a forest.)

Ginger: Are we there yet? My feet hurt!

Tom: Angela, can we really trust a machine that came from Roy?

Angela: I don't know, maybe we should just ask that (looks forward, shocked)... giant group of machines over there!

(A large group of bots are throwing valuables into a large pile. The friends hide behind a rock.)

Ben: The hands have clearly lost all interest in helping! Everyone be careful!

(Hank steps on a twig, making a crunching noise.)

(The bots notice and look at Hank.)

Hank: It's not my fault somebody left their stupid twig lying around!

Roy: Look out! Here they come!

(The bots charge at the friends.)

(The friends all manage to fight their bots off, but some manage to pull Angela to the ground.)

Angela: Tom! (screams)

(Roy picks up the bots and smashes them together.)

Angela: Yay!

(Roy fights off the rest of the bots, then bows. Tom growls.)

(The friends, except Tom, applaud.)

Act III
Angela: Woo! Good work, everyone! Now, we need to see if there's a clue about who did this in the treasure pile!

(A shiny light beam shines on Ginger.)

Ginger: You mean like that clue? (points)

(Ginger points to a surfboard at the top of the pile.)

Hank: That's weird. That's the same surfboard Tom wanted to get!

Tom: Come on, Hank, I mean, that is a popular surfboard. That doesn't count as a clue.

Angela: Yeah, we have to keep go- (notices something on the ground)... wait. (picks up a book) Tom, this is your journal. What is this doing here?

Tom: I don't know.

Angela: (reads journal) "The Helping Hands are gonna make me rich, even if people don't like them. I have a plan."

(The friends and Roy gasp.)

Tom: (backing away) Woah, woah, I did not write that. Someone is messing with me.

Ginger: Or maybe, someone moved the journal here so it would never be found.

Tom: Don't you see what is happening? (stutters) Roy must be controlling everything! He sabotaged the Helping Hands.

Roy: Woah, woah, Tom, please. Don't you think you've blamed me enough for things I didn't do?

Tom: (growls) I would not sabotage my own company!

Ben: You said you'd do whatever it takes to keep us in business. Did you mean programming the Helping Hands to steal?

Tom: (stutters) No! I meant writing a company jingle!

(The bots begin marching at Tom's side, then intimidates the friends.)

Tom: Wh-what is this?

Hank: I've seen enough! I'd never thought you'd sink this low, Tom!

(Hank and Ginger leave.)

Tom: Wait, no... Angela! You know I wouldn't attack the world with bad robots, right?

(Angela and Roy leave.)

Ben: You know, Tom, my name is on this company too. Next time you want to destroy everything we've ever done, I'd appreciate if I at least got a memo. (leaves)

Tom: Wait... wait!

(The bots begin attacking Tom and chases him to the top of the pile.)

(A police car arrives. The police officer gasps.)

(Tom throws a pearl necklace at the cop. The bots attack the cop. Tom gets away with the surfboard.)

Act IV
(Scene cuts to the garage. Tom infiltrates the mob in disguise.)

Tom: I agree! I also hate Tom! (knocks on door) Guys, open up, it's me!

Hank: (gasps) There's someone at the door!

(Roy opens the door.)

Tom: (gasps) Roy?

Roy: Tom, your friends really don't want to talk to you right now.

Tom: Move aside, Roy! I need to tell them this is a huge mistake.

Roy: (closes door, laughs) Tom, (continues laughing) it's not a mistake. It's really, really not.

Tom: (gasps) It really was you!

(A flashback shows Roy among the audience at the tech conference.)

Roy: (narrates) I hacked the Helping Hands and made 'em evil!

(Roy presses a red button to hack the Helping Hand bots.)

(The flashback cuts to the forest. Angela finds Tom's journal in the forest.)

Roy: (narrates) And then, I placed your journal in the forest!

Angela (in flashback): Tom, this is your journal.

(Tom gasps.)

(The flashback cuts to the front yard in Neighbor Roy. Roy moves in.)

Roy: I've been after this moment since I came to town, and it's finally here!

(Tom gasps.)

Roy: I stole your life. (laughs maliciously)

Act V
Tom: No, no! It's not fair!

Roy: (pushes Tom) Game over, Tom! Everyone hates you!

(Tom falls to the ground and his disguise falls off.)

Roy: Oh, angry mob, he's right here! See you, uh, never! Buh-bye!

(Roy laughs and enters the garage.)

Roy: (to friends) Hey, guys, I'm back! (closes door)

(The angry mob approaches Tom and chases him down a street.)

(Credits roll)