Neighbor Roy/Transcript

* The episode begins with Tom and his friends at the museum.*

Ben: So, Tom, how does it feel to have a statue of you added to museum's Hall of Coolness?

Tom: I always knew that I was cool, but I never knew that I was "statue" cool.

Hank: Wow! I can't believe Tom's image will be next to the ruby that fell from space.

Tom: It's around this corner. Prepare to marvel at some marble. Huh?

(Tom sees a statue of a raccoon.*

Tom: Um, pardon me. But, uh, quick question. Why does this statue of me, uh, not look like me?

Assistant: Because it's not you. A cooler guy moved to town so he got a statue instead.

Tom: What?!

Assistant: Some fella named Roy.

* Everyone chats about Roy.*

Babysitter: Roy babysat our family once and planted two gardens just for fun.

Wesley: I choked on a grape once and Roy saved my life.

Tom: Who the heck is Roy?!

* The gang head back inside the studio.*

Angela: Oh, one little museum statues isn't a big deal. This isn't going to change our lives or anything.

Tom: Well, yeah, I guess that's true.

Ginger: Guys, look! (The movers are preparing for Roy to arrive) We're getting a new neighbor. And they have a bunch of cool stuff! I wonder who it is.

Roy: What if he's a jerk?

* The five scream.*

Roy: (laughs) No, I'm just kidding. He's me. Hi, new neighbors. I'm Roy.

Tom: Hmmm...

* The scene cuts to the theme song. Tom serves a pie to the gang.*

Tom: What do you think of my "welcome to the neighborhood" present for Roy, huh?

Ben: What a nice gesture, especially after Roy dethroned you as the coolest person in town--

Tom: (stunned) Uh, Ben...

Ben: --according to the museum.

Tom: Ben?

Ben: But what do museums know?

Tom: Ben! It's fine. In fact, that's why I'm giving him this pie, so that Roy can be like, "A homemade pie? Tom is way cooler than I am"!

Angela: So, it's not a nice gesture at all.

Tom: Mm-hmm.

Roy: Hey, guys.

(Tom gasps*

Roy: Just dropping by to give you a little something just to show you how much I appreciate being your new neighbor.

(Ginger opens the box to find a Lightening Man action figure.*

Ginger; A Lightening Man action figure!

(Ginger puts on his glasses and he pushes the button on the action figure, causing it to shine the inside studio.*

Ginger: They stopped making these after all the lightening injuries.

Tom: Whoa!

Ben: A Blue Flame 5,000? That's the best Bunsen burner you can buy!

(Tom growls)

Hank: Wow! The "Bongo and McGillicuddy" complete box set! (kisses box, then opens it) It even has the Christmas special everyone hated.

(Tom growls again)

Angela: Whoa. Are these real gold?

Roy: Mm-hmm. And real microphones.

Angela: Wow, Roy! You shouldn't have!

Tom: (furious) Yeah, Roy. You shouldn't have.

Roy: I wanted us to get off on the right foot, so I did a little research on y'all to see what you look like.

Tom: (even more furious) Well, that's creepy.