Tom the Bodyguard (Episode)/Transcript

A Threatening Message
(Tom enters Angela's apartment and notices a UFO flying above him.)

Tom: Hey, Angela, what uuu-UFO?!

(The UFO hits Tom in the head. Tom screams.)

Angela: Be careful with that! It's a prop for my comeback concert tonight. When l sing my final song, Confetti Skies, (fills UFO with confetti) this UFO will pop and confetti will fly!

(The UFO releases confetti.)

Tom: You are amazing!

(Angela takes her phone out.)

Angela: Yeah, people are really into it.

(Angela plays some videos from her fans.)

Lady: New Angela's new sound is everything!

(cuts to next video)

Man: Why can't all these songs be New Angela songs?!

(cuts to next video)

Other Man: I'm a fan-gela of the New Angela.

Angela: See? (laughs) I have "fan-gelas" now!

(cuts to next video)

Bad Guy with the Pie: Angela's style is dumb! She deserves a pie in her face!

Angela: What?! Who would say that? (reads name) "Bad Guy with the Pie." Oh no!

Tom: (pulls phone) Don't worry about him, internet people are all talk.

Bad Guy with the Pie: What do you know? I've got a pie!

(Tom and Angela look distressed.)

Bad Guy with the Pie: See your face tonight, Angela! (throws pie in screen)

(Theme song plays)

Searching for a Bodyguard
(Angela paces around her room nervously.)

Angela: I- I have to cancel it!

Tom: You can't cancel a comeback! You'll never come back from that!

Angela: If I get a pie in my face, it won't be a comeback! (sits on couch and breathes deeply)

Tom: We won't let that happen. (goes on laptop) What if you got a bodyguard to protect you?

Angela: Oh, right!

(The computer shows an image of a muscular bodyguard with brown hair, blue tuxedo and sunglasses.)

Angela: That guy looks strong!

(The image zooms out to show many rows of coins, implying that the bodyguard is expensive.)

Tom: Oh. Let's find somebody in our price range.

(Tom searches for cheaper options. He finds a bodyguard for only one coin, but the "bodyguard" was just a scarecrow with a tuxedo.)

Angela: Aw, that won't work. It looks like the concert is off. Got any plans for tonight, Tom? 'Cause I sure don't.

(Angela scrolls through the two bodyguard options.)

(Tom imagines himself as the bodyguard saving Angela.)

Tom: (gasps) I'm gonna be your bodyguard!

Angela: Oh, uh...

Trying to Trick the Bracelet
(Scene cuts to the garage. Ben is in the kitchen, trying to fool the anti-technology bracelet.)

Ben: Nothing suspicious is going on here, anti-technology bracelet.

(Ben is holding a frying pan.)

Ben: I'm just cooking a casserole.

(The bracelet beeps.)

(Ben nervously chuckles and hums. He puts an oven mitt over his bracelet, then tries to use his laptop.)

(The bracelet notices Ben's attempt and electrocutes him. Ben falls over.)

Ginger: Hi, Ben. Still trying to outsmart your bracelet?

Ben: (climbs back up) I almost had it this time. It must have peeked from under the glove!

(The bracelet beeps.)

Ginger: You're never gonna trick that thing. You need to break it.

(Ginger smashes his clenched fist on the table)

(The bracelet beeps.)

Ginger: Or better yet, get a pro to break it.

(Ginger bangs the table with his elbow, causing the plates to knock over. An oven hits Ben in the head. Ben lets go of the frying pan, which causes the stools to knock over. A skyscraper outside collapses.)

Ginger: Consider that my job interview, but I don't work for free. (shows phone to Ben) Vampire Axe Maniac is coming to theaters, and I need an adult to get me in.

Ben: (takes phone) That movie is not for kids!

Ginger: Okay, then I guess you'll have to wear that bracelet forever.

(The bracelet beeps as if it is laughing.)

Ben: (groans) Ginger, do your worst.

(Gingers yells in excitement.)

Bodyguard Practice
(Scene cuts to the living room. Tom is practicing being a bodyguard.)

Tom: Hank, I need you to throw pies at this watermelon so I can practise protecting it and become a bodyguard.

(Tom prepares to catch the pie. Hank throws the pie. Tom fails to catch it, and the pie lands beside the watermelon on the couch.)

Tom: Hey, I wasn't ready!

(Hank throws several more pies. Tom catches none of them. One of them bounces off multiple objects before hitting the watermelon.)

Tom: Ah.

(Tom is hit in the face with another pie.)

Hank: I hit all your watermelons! If this were a carnival game, I would've won!

(Tom strolls on a chair.)

Tom: Yeah, but it's not a game, cank. It's real life. I'm never gonna be able to protect Angela.

Hank: Hey, you've still got your charm-

(A kayak falls from the ceiling.)

Hank: Woah, look out!

(Hank pushes Tom away just before the kayak lands.)

Tom: Woah, that's exactly the kind of person-protecting I need to learn! How did you do that?

Hank: I don't know. I guess I look at the world like it's a TV show. I'm always watching.

(Tom and Hank look around.)

Tom: Then, I'll always be watching! (puts on sunglasses)

Tom's Big Role
(Scene cuts to the red carpet of the concert hall.)

Tom: Always watching.

(Angela steps out of a black limousine and onto the carpet. The crowd cheers.)

(Tom watches his surroundings. He finds what appears to be an apron on a fan's dress.)

Tom: An apron! Oh, it's just a dress.

(Tom continues checking his surroundings. He notices a man holding what appears to be a pie tin.)

Tom: (takes hat) Pie tin! Wait, no, it's just a hat. (puts hat on man's head)

(The man is angry.)

(Tom opens the door to the concert and see multiple fans cheering.)

(Tom looks at different fans and finds a mysterious figure on the balcony with a hat and overcoat.)

Tom: I spy with my overprotective eye, a potential bad guy.

(Tom steps onto the balcony. He approaches the figure)

Tom: (taps shoulder) Excuse me, sir, I need to check for baked goods.

(The overcoat and hat fall off, revealing that the figure was a mechanical device.)

Tom: You're no sir...

(Scene shows that the device was a catapult.)

Tom: You're a catapult!

(Angela walks across the stage.)

Angela: Hello everyone! Are you ready to listen to me rock!? (sings) ''♫ And I... ♫''

(Tom is amazed by Angela's song.)

(The catapult starts to launch. Tom gasps. A timer is shown on the catapult. Underneath the timer are three wires.)

Angela: (continues singing) ♫...wanna hang out..♫

(Tom pulls all three wires out. The timer continues. Tom gasps.)

(The timer stops. Tom sighs in relief.)

(Tom unknowingly leans on a lever, which reactivates the catapult.)

(The pie is launched towards Angela. An unknown man lifts her out of the way just before the pie lands.)

(The crowd gasps.)

Tom: Huh?

Angela: (gasps) You saved my face! Who are you?

Man: I'm your biggest fan-gela!

Angela: Oh. (chuckles)

(The crowd cheers. Tom growls.)

Break that Bracelet!
(Scene cuts to a montage of Ginger trying to destroy Ben's bracelet. Ginger takes Ben's wrist out of the refrigerator.)

(Ginger repeatedly strikes the bracelet with a hammer. Ben is electrocuted each time.)

(Ginger ties a rope to Ben's bracelet on the driveway. Ginger moves offscreen. Ben is pulled by the rope, as the other end was tied to Ginger's bike. He is electrocuted.)

(Scene cuts to Ben on the floor. Ginger is estimating.)

Ginger: Now, jump!

(Jeremy jumps on the left side of a lever mechanism. On the right side is a heavy wooden box. The wooden box launches into the air and lands on Ben's wrist offscreen. Ben yells in pain. The bracelet still beeps. Ginger groans.)

(End of montage. Ben is seen on the couch, woozy.)

(Ginger is seen stirring a boiling pot in the kitchen.)

Ginger: This bracelet is tough, but I'm not out of ideas.

(Ginger lifts a wooden spoon out of the pot. Part of the spoon has burned off.)

(Ginger takes the boiling pot to Ben.)

Ginger: Quick, stick your hand in this fondue pot!

Ben: (sees pot and cowers) I'm not putting my hand in bubbling chocolate! Just admit that you failed at breaking the bracelet!

Ginger: (drops pot) Fine! I guess I can just wait until I'm older and watch Vampire Axe Mania: Part 4 when that comes out.

Ben: Oh, that's very mature of you.

(Ginger notices Angela's poster on a vending machine and gets an idea.)

(Ginger walks over to Ben.)

Ginger: (gasps) Since we have a bunch of free time now, I wonder if any of our friends have anything exciting going on.

Ben: Well, now that you mention it, Angela is doing her big comeback concert tonight. We could go support her!

Ginger: Oh, yes! I totally didn't think of that. (opens door) Let's go!

(Ben and Ginger exit.)

The New Bodyguard
(Scene cuts to Angela applying makeup.)

Tom: I am so sorry about the catapult, but for the rest of the night, I will always, always be watching. I mean, look at me always watching-

(The unknown man who saved Angela appears again, dragging Tom away and lifting him up.

Man: Stay back! Give Angela some space!

(Tom struggles to escape.)

Angela: It's okay, Dirk, he's cool! Tom, I know you tried, but this show is too important.

Tom: Oh.

Angela: And for all we know, Bad Guy with the Pie is still out there! It's just, I need a better bodyguard.

(Dirk drops Tom.)

Dirk: That's me! I'm Dirk Shield.

Tom: (stands up) Really? His name is Shield? It's a bit on-the-nose, don't you think?

Angela: He was born to protect. (lightly strikes Dirk's chest)

(Dirk's chest releases dust. Angela coughs.)

Angela: But there's still an important job for you!

(Tom smiles.)

Angela: You can guard my concert props! (walks away)

Tom: (discontent) Concert props?! That's not- okay, I'll try to keep them safe.

(Scene cuts to Tom guarding the props backstage.)

Tom: Stay back, dust bunnies. Give Angela's UFO confetti some space.

Hank: (appears) Hi!

Tom: (screams) Hank! Oh, I didn't see you there! So much for me always watching.

(Ben and Ginger enter from a door.)

Ben: Ginger, this isn't the way into the concert. (walks towards electrical wires) This is backstage.

Ginger: (slams door) Oh, is it? Ha, I tricked you! I never give up on breaking things! I'm going to plug Angela's speakers into the bracelet to make it overload and explode!

(The bracelet beeps angrily. Ben and Ginger fight each other.)

Ben: The bracelet is right! Enough is enough! You froze me, you tried to melt me, no more-

(Ginger steps on Ben's foot. Ben screams.)

Tom: Guys, back away from the confetti! I'm supposed to protect it-

(Ginger pushes Ben, knocking over a box of confetti.)

Tom: (angrily) Not even flimsy pieces of paper are safe from my bad bodyguarding!

Hank: Um, that is not paper in that box. (picks up pie tin)

(The boxes that were supposed to be filled with confetti are instead filled with pie tins.)

Tom: Pie tins? This crate was supposed to be full of confetti! That means... (gasps) The UFO was full of pies! Bad Guy with the Pie is here!

(The UFO prop flies over the stage. Tom runs onstage to save Angela, but is stopped by Dirk Shield.)

Dirk: (picks up Tom) I don't think so, buddy. Not at all. (throws Tom offstage)

Hank: Tom, are you okay?

Tom: No, Angela's in- hey, wait a second.

(Tom's shirt and hands are covered in white powder from his contact with Dirk Shield.)

Tom: Why does Dirk have dusty hands?

Hank: Hm. (tastes powder) That's flour! Maybe he was baking!

Tom: Baking? But that means- (gasps) Dirk Shield is Bad Guy with the Pie!

Dirk: (picks up Hank and laughs) I sure am! And you played right into my plan to get close to Angela and replace her confetti with pie!

Tom: But you were born to protect!

Dirk: (puts on pie mask) So what? I hate this new Angela! Why can't she sing like she used to?!

Angela: (sings) Confetti skies...

(Tom crawls from under Dirk's legs to try to save Angela from the falling pies. The UFO releases the pies.)

Tom: (slow-motion) Angela!

(Angela notices Tom, but is covered with pies. She screams and the crowd gasps. Tom rushes over to Angela.)

Angela: (coughs) It looks like I got that pie in the face, after all.

Tom: It's okay, Angela. It's barely noticeable.

Bad Guy with the Pie: It's completely noticeable! That's what you get for being different than you used to be! (laughs)

Angela: (shivers) It's getting dark and the filling is so cold.

Tom: I'm sorry, Angela. I should have bodyguarded you better.

Angela: Shh, you did all you could. (coughs) It's just so sweet!

Tom: I didn't do everything. This concert isn't over yet. Problems come, but you can rise.

Angela: What are you doing?

Tom: You can't get shut down by some pies! Angela, sing!

(Angela gets up.)

Angela: (sings)

You can get a second chance!

So get on your feet and start to dance!

(Ginger pulls Ben towards the electrical wires of the speakers. Ginger unplugs the speakers and puts the plug on Ben's bracelet, electrocuting both Ben and Ginger.)

Angela: Get on your feet and start to dance!

(The speakers explode, sending Ben and Dirk Shield flying. Dirk Shield lands on a floor plank, sending Tom flying into Angela's arms.)

Angela: (catches Tom) Dance, dance, dance.

(Ben and Ginger land on Dirk Shield.)

Ginger: Okay, I give up for real. You win, bracelet. (groans)

(The bracelet laughs.)

(Credits roll)