Happy Town/Transcript

CEO: Soon my plan to become mayor and destroy Tom and Ben Enterprises will be complete.

(The CEO laughs)

Darren: Um, uncle? Don't you remember what just happened?

(The scene cuts to a flashback to Vote for Tom!)

Darren: Tom had a secret system to become mayor but when it was stolen by you, it all came down to the Mayor Factor competition. And you did not win. Tom won.

CEO: I know but it's not fair! I want to be mayor!

(The CEO kicks his chair and falls over)

CEO: Ow! Now my kicking leg hurts. This is the worst day of my whole life!

(The CEO cries and holds a tantrum while Darren closes the door and sighs)

(The scene cuts to the theme song)

(Two people are about to kiss when Ginger peeks his head over the window. The two stop and gasp as Ginger enters Jerry's)

Ginger: Everybody, remain seated. No sudden moves! I'm doing a security sweep for the new mayor. (Ginger goes over to Wesley) Sir, do you mind telling me why you aren't eating that soup?

Wesley: I'm waiting for it to cool down.

Ginger: Sir, I'm gonna need you to eat that soup!

(Wesley blows the soup and then sips the soup as steam comes out of his ears)

(Ginger opens the door for Tom as he walks in)

Ginger: All clear!

Tom: Thanks, Ginger. I don't really need security. Ha!

(Tom poses)

Ginger: Ha!

(Tom poses again)

Tom: Check that guy over there.

Ginger: I'm on it!

(Ben enters Jerry's)

Ben: Now, let's get down to business!

Tom: Bah, bah, bah. Way ahead of you. We have to decide when I'm supposed to wear my mayor sash and when I should probably wear my mayor button.

Ben: That's not what I meant by business. I'm talking (Ben pulls out a piece of paper) about the minor civic infrastructure issues that urgently need to be deal with.

Tom: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Look, (Tom takes the piece of paper from Ben and throws it away) I don't know what those words mean. But I do know that being mayor is about wearing sashes, cutting ribbons, and making sure everyone is happy which they are.

Rhonda: I'm not happy, Mr. Mayor. I'm tired, my shows weren't on last night, and earlier today I stepped on a bee.

Tom: Sounds like a job for Mayor Tom. Let's see that foot. Hmmm.

Ben: Tom, no! Rhonda's complaints and feet have nothing to do with a mayor's responsibilities.

Rhonda: Oh yeah, you're probably right. Besides, no one is really happy, I mean... Joe the dishwasher has a hangnail. Lucy's laptop broke.

Lucy: Argh!

Rhonda: Oh, and Marv put a red sock with all the whites and ruined his laundry.

Tom: I had no idea people were so unhappy. I have to do something about this. Ahem! Citizens! I am your mayor and I want to put your simple minds at ease. I hereby promise that I will not rest until everyone in this town is happy. Yes, you heard that right! Until everyone is happy.

Ben: Tom, you can't promise that.

Tom: Oh, right. That's not a promise. That's a guarantee!

Ben: Oh, no!

Tom: Thank you, thank you. Now you can return to putting food in your mouths.

Ginger: You heard the mayor! Everybody back to lunch! That means you, sir.

(muffled music)

Tom: (through megaphone) Excuse me! I don't see a pep in your step! Why are you so unhappy?

Angela: Hey, Tom! What's going on? Why are you screaming at strangers?

Tom: Guys, a lot of people in this town aren't happy and that means I'm not the mayor I promised to be.

Hank: Tom, there's always gonna be unhappy people in a town. And happy people. And angry people. And... That's why they call it a town!

Tom: Not in my town. Not on my watch. (through megaphone) Hey, you! What's your problem?

3:35

Me? People keep yelling at me.

Tom: (through megaphone) Who's yelling at you— Oh, ah. (in normal) I see. Great, now I'm part of the problem.

Angela: Tom, things aren't so bad. Look, there's a park concert right now, featuring DJ Joy and The Magic Spider Band. There's gonna be tons of happy people there!

Tom: I guess we could go check it out. I bet the mayor gets in for free.

Hank: But who's going to work the complaint booth until you get back? OK, I'll do it. (through megaphone) Come on, boys!

(upbeat music and crowd cheers)

♫ Happy, happy, happy, happy ♫

♫ Happy, happy, happy, happy ♫

♫  Oooh-aaah-aaah! ♫

♫ Happy, happy, happy, happy ♫

♫ Happy, happy, happy, happy ♫

♫  Oooh-oooh-aaah! ♫

Angela: See, Tom? There were happy people everywhere. Even during the sad songs.

Tom: Yeah! Everyone was having fun and everyone was happy. If only there was some similar way to make the whole town happy. (gasps) Wait a minute!