Think Hank/Transcript

(Scene shows Angela running out of the garage. She is soaked.)

Angela: Ugh, I am soaking wet! Who did that?!

(Scene cuts to the office. Tom and Ben are wearing golden earplugs.)

Ben: (shouts) Tom, aren't these great?! I love these "Silence is Golden" earplugs!

Tom: (shouts) What?! I can't hear you! I'm wearing these stupid earplugs!

Ben: What did you say?!

Tom: What?

(Scene cuts to Ginger outside the garage. He is hanging onto the roof with two hands.)

Ginger: Help! Help! Someone please help! Pretty please help! I'm too young to go splat!

(Scene cuts back to the office.)

Tom: Hey, can we take these off now?

Ben: What did you say?

Tom: Huh?

Ginger: Can't... hold... on... much... longer...

(A shadow approaches Ginger.)

(Theme song plays)

(Scene cuts back to Ginger at the rooftop.)

Ginger: I'm not worried! Everything will be okay.

(Ginger loses his grip with his right hand. He yelps.)

(Ginger loses his grip with two of his fingers on his left land.)

Ginger: Uh-oh.

(Ginger loses his grip with his last finger, and falls.)

(The scene rewinds to the start of the storyline. Hank is watching TV.)

TV Host: And now, back to Dan the Dentist.

Man (on TV): Say, Sally, I know a restaurant that's recommended by four out of five dentists. How about a date? Just nod once for no, and rinse and spit for yes.

(A rinsing sound is heard. Hank laughs.)

Man (on TV): Super, I'll pick you up at eight. And open.

Hank: (laughs) Dan, you are one smooth-talking dentist.

(Ginger enters.)

Ginger: Give me the remote! Hurry! Pajama Pals is-

(Hank takes the remote.)

Hank: No can do, little bud, 'cause this is a special hour-long, Dan the Dentist. Dan is unsure if he wants to date with Sally after he finds out she only has three wisdom teeth!

Ginger: But it's the Pajama Pals season finale! I need to see it! Pwetty pwease?

Hank: Sorry, but oldest gets to decide what's on TV. It's the law.

Ginger: What law? That's not a law, and I know about laws! Now give me the remote! Give it, give it! (tries to take remote)

(Ginger tries to take the remote, but Hank holds it just out of reach.)

Ginger: Paja... pal... pajama...

Hank: (tuts) One day, you'll thank me, Ginger. Disappointment builds character. I remember the time I unwrapped a hamburger and there was only a bun. That moment helped shape the man I am today.

Ginger: Well, I know a law. Ginger gets what Ginger wants! (leaves)

Hank: Good kid.

(Ginger walks up the stairs.)

Ginger: Hank will pay for crossing... the Ginger-Avenger!

(Ginger finds a locked book labelled with his name. He opens it to reveal doodles.)

Ginger: I have here every prank I've ever thought up. (looks at one drawing) No, that one needs a pie and an angry donkey. (looks at another drawing) Too subtle. (looks at another drawing) Oh, wait, I don't have an active volcano. (flips page) Oh, this will be perfect!

(Scene cuts to the living room. Ginger steps over Hank's foot.)

Hank: Oh! Oh, hi, Ginger! Want a signature sandwich? (takes paper bag) This one is signed "Ben!"

(Ginger appears confused.)

Hank: Last week, I found one with the name "Hands Off." Must be Swedish.

(Ginger pretends not to hear Hank.)

Ginger: What was that voice? Is someone there?

Hank: I don't hear anyone.

(Ginger pretends to be shocked to see Hank.)

Ginger: (gasps) Hank, is that you? You know imaginary friends aren't supposed to appear on their own!

Hank: Huh? I'm not imaginary!

Ginger: And imaginary friends definitely aren't supposed to say they're not imaginary!

Hank: I think you should learn what "imaginary" means.

Ginger: It means you came from my head!

Hank: Uh, Ginger, that's not where we come from. (takes out sandwich) I won't say right now, but spoiler alert, it involves a bird and a bee... and maybe... a bear?

Ginger: (pretends Hank disappeared) (gasps) Hank, where'd you go? Come on, don't be mad.

Hank: I-I'm right here!

Ginger: Oh, Hank, come back! Come out, buddy!

(Scene cuts to the desk. Tom is at the desk wearing the earplugs.)

Hank: (to Tom) Boy, you wouldn't believe what just happened. Ginger said I was imaginary and wouldn't exist if it wasn't for him. Can you believe that? Tom? Tom?

(Tom does not hear Hank. Ben walks by, also wearing the earplugs.)

Hank: Hey, Ben! Find any good molecules lately?

(Ben does not hear Hank and continues walking.)

Hank: Tom? Ben?

(Scene cuts to the balcony. Hank is in front of a mirror when Ginger walks by.)

Ginger: You know, I can prove you're imaginary.

Hank: Pff, I don't think so. (crosses arms)

Ginger: I can make you do anything I want, and right now, I want you to think about pink elephants.

Hank: See, you're wrong, because the last thing I'm going to do is... (gasps) I am thinking about pink elephants!

Ginger: On stilts.

Hank: Now they're on stilts!

Ginger: Juggling watermelons!

Hank: Why are they so talented?!

Ginger: And now, I'm going to make you breathe!

Hank: Uh, uh, no way! (holds breath)

(Hank runs out of breath and gasps. Ginger chuckles.)

Hank: (tries to exhale by speaking) That... (inhales) doesn't... (inhales) prove... (inhales) anything!

Ginger: If you're not imaginary, why don't you have a job like a real person?

(Hank gasps.)

Ginger: And when was the last time you've got mail?

Hank: (chuckles nervously) Well, I don't know.

(Scene cuts to the mailbox. Hank looks through the mail.)

Hank: (reads letters) Tom, Tom, Tom... oh, current resident! That kinda counts. No, it doesn't!

(Angela is sitting on the taxi looking at her phone.)

Hank: Angela, is it possible I'm Ginger's imaginary friend?

Angela: Ugh, are you for real?

(Hank misinterprets the statement and gasps.)

(Scene cuts to the living room. Hank is on the couch watching TV.)

TV Host: And now, back to Mike and His Moustache.

Woman (on TV): Oh, Mike, why did you grow that awful moustache?! (canned laughter)

Talking Moustache (on TV): (in Italian accent) Listen, Toots. Mike didn't grow me, I grew him!

(Ginger walks in front of the TV.)

Ginger: Uh-uh-uh, imaginary friends don't get to decide what's on TV.

(Hank hesitates, then gives the remote to Ginger.)

(Scene cuts to the bathroom. Hank speaks to the audience.)

Hank: Well, if I am Ginger's imaginary friend, I'm going to be the best imaginary friend ever!

(A montage is shown of Hank playing with Ginger. Angela sings Imaginary Friend in the background.)

Angela: (sings)

Who's your imaginary friend?

Is it a dragon, a pirate, or a guy named Hank?

It doesn't really matter,

Because everyone needs a friend!

Even me, even trees, everyone needs a friend.

(Ginger and Hank play a board game on the living room floor.)

(Ginger and Hank take the toilet paper from the bathroom. Ben enters the bathroom.)

(Ginger and Hank sit on the couch eating ice cream.)

(End of montage.)

Ben: Ugh! Who took the toilet paper?! (flushes)

(Hank and Ginger laugh.)

(Scene cuts to the rooftop. Ginger throws a water balloon off the roof.)

Ginger: Bullseye! (laughs)

Hank: You're a better shot than my favorite TV pirate, Longjohn Silverspoon! He's on Who Wants to Arggh?.

(Ginger and Hank hear Angela singing on the driveway.)

Angela: I'm spelling a word in my song: B, U, D, D, Y.

(Hank and Ginger get an idea and chuckle.)

Ginger: This will be good!

Hank: But that's Angela!

Ginger: I think you mean "soaking-wet Angela!" (winks)

(Hank and Ginger carry a giant water balloon to the edge of the rooftop and drop it on Angela. Angela screams.)

Ginger: That was the best! Did you hear her? (mocks Angela's scream.)

(Ginger slips on a smaller water balloon and falls back. He catches the edge of the rooftop and hangs from the edge of the roof.)

Angela: Ugh, I am soaking wet! Who did that?!

(Hank gasps.)

Ginger: Hank, help!

Hank: Hold on, don't worry!

Ginger: Pull me up!

Hank: Oh, no, what am I thinking? Ginger, I'm just imaginary! You need someone real!

Ginger: What, wha-

Hank: You'll just slip through my imaginary hand!

Ginger: No, I won't! Pinky swear! Hank, please help!

Hank: (sobs) I am so sorry, Ginger. So sorry!

(Ginger loses grip with his right hand. He holds onto the rooftop with one finger.)

Ginger: Tom, Ben, help!

(Inside the garage, Tom and Ben are still wearing the earplugs.)

Ben: What'd you say?!

Tom: What?

Ginger: Hank, you are real! I was being bad! I was playing a joke!

Hank: (sniffles) Really?

Ginger: I was just mad about Pajama Pals! I made a mistake.

Hank: Aw, this is just like that episode of Bongo and McGillicuddy, when Bongo was convinced he was a toaster.

(Ginger loses his grip and falls.)

Hank: Ginger! Noooo!

(Scene cuts to the garage. Tom is still wearing the earplugs. Angela enters.)

Angela: (muffled) Ugh, I cannot believe this, Tom! Do you see how wet I am? Somebody dropped a giant water balloon on me...

Tom: Angela, wait! I couldn't... (to Ben) Did you hear what she said?

Ben: I couldn't hear what she said!

Tom: These ear things made me miss what Angela said!

Ben: No, I ate already!

Tom: So what?! She could've said anything! Like what if she said, "Tom, I get so angry when I think of us not being together!" or, (gasps) "Tom, I am madly, madly in love with you." Ah- that's it! (takes off earplugs) No more earplugs!

(Scene cuts to the living room. Ginger has a cast on his leg from the injury. Hank writes on the cast.)

Hank: (writes) "Caution: do not eat Ginger's leg. This is a cast, not a signature sandwich." Ginger, I hope you learned a lesson from all this...

Ginger: I did...

Hank: Like what?

Ginger: Uh, like... you should only throw water balloons from flat rooftops? What lesson did you learn?

Hank: Me? Well, I guess I learned how much I care about you, and even though you tricked me into being your imaginary friend, you can always imagine me as your real friend. For real. Alright, buddy, you pick the show. (gives remote)

Ginger: Um... I want to watch... this. (presses button)

(The TV turns on.)

Hank: Dan the Dentist? When did you become a fan of Dan the Dentist?

Ginger: Now, let's just watch your dumb show.

Dan (on TV): Here's a question for you, Sally: which is more valuable: money, like from the tooth fairy, or friendship, like from Dan the Dentist? Nod once for money, or rinse and spit for friendship.

(A rinsing and spitting sound is heard. Canned laughter is heard. Hank laughs.)

Dan (on TV): Super! I'd thought you'd say that! Open.

Hank: (laughs) Rinse and spit, Dan! Rinse and spit.

(Credits roll)