The Cool and the Nerd/Transcript

(Ben is working on an invention while Tom is calling Ginger. Ginger doesn't answer so Tom leaves him a message)

Tom: (casually) Hey, Ginger! It's me again. Call us back, OK, buddy?

Ben: I guess I can't blame him.

Tom: What we did was pretty awful.

[Flashback from The Backup Genius: One week ago...]

Ben: Ahem! I have found my protege!

Darren: Aloha!

Ginger: What? Come on, you chose Darren?

[fast forward]

Ben: He's nice and helpful and he wants to learn. Everything you are not!

Ginger: Fine! If that's how it's gonna be, then I'm outta here. (storms out the door)

Darren: No wonder he's not the protege.

[back to the present]

Ben: Just awful. Well, take heart! The "I'm sorry for choosing you over Darren as a friend over you" custom hoverboard is almost finished! It has double racing stripes, chrome stabilization fins, and I customized the motor. Listen!

Hoverboard: Ging-ging-ging-ging-ging-ging-ging-ging-ging-Ginger...

Ben: And as the pièce de résistance- Whoa! (hoverboard goes out of control) I wanna get... the board signed... by the coolest person... that Ginger knows!

Tom: Well, I'm flattered, but I'm not sure I have an autograph pen ready. (takes out a pen) How did this get here?

Ben: Argh! Tom! (falls off) Ah! (gets up) Before you embarrass yourself further, I was talking about your friend, Will Zee.

[flashback from Lost Friend Will Zee]

Will Zee: (parkours on hoverboard all over the garage) I'm called Will Zee.

[back to present]

Tom: Uh, I knew that.

Ben: Will Zee is the most amazingly cool person in the known universe. You know how to reach him, right?

Tom: Uh, of course. Cool guys like me and Will Zee, we always stay in touch. (calls Will)

Phone: We're sorry. Will Zee is too cool for phones and no longer uses them.

Tom: Yeah, you know, I thought he might be too cool for phones. Cuz, I mean, a lot of us are, myself included. Phones. Pff.]

Ben: But how will I get my hoverboard signed?

Tom: Problemo zero, Ben. There's more than one way cool people connect. (accidentally steps on hoverboard, which loses control again) Argh!

[theme song plays]

Tom: Okay, we've tried 56 different ways to contact Will Zee. We're just gonna have to go big. So, I've combined our best ideas, and we're going to reach out on FastaPic.

Ben: The coolest social media platform!

Tom: And we're going to send the sound of dolphins.

Hank: The coolest mammals.

Tom: Over a clip of a dune buggy.

Angela: The coolest open-topped sand vehicle.

[shows video]

Tom: And if this doesn't work, guys, then I don't know what we're going to do.

Ben: It has to, Tom. For Ginger.

Tom: For Ginger!

[transition]

Tom: (uploads video) Here we go!

[suspenseful music]

Tom: It didn't work.

Angela: What? No!

Hank: Awww...

Ben: It has to!

Tom: I'm sorry.

[funky music, lights start flickering]

Angela: What's that music?

Hank: Maybe it's the cool ice cream truck!

Ben: That's no cool ice cream truck!

[doors and windows start moving]

[vortex opens in ceiling, Will Zee emerges]

Ben: It's Will Zee!

All: Oooh! Aah! He can do it!

Tom: See? I told you it would work!

Angela: That's the coolest entrance I've ever seen!

Hank: And he's defying gravity! Gravity, you just got served!

Will Zee: Tai chi, bumblebees! Hit da grins!

Tom: If I'm not mistaken, that's the language of coolness. I can't speak it, but I can read it... a little.

Ginger: (enters) Huh?

Ben: Ginger! Come in, come in!

Ginger: I'm not allowed, remember? You said this place was for "friends only."

[Ben sighs]

Ginger: [gasps] Will Zee! Hot potato, butterfly, round the corner! Ha-cha!

Ben: (holds up hoverboard) Ginger, I should never have chosen the evil, rotten, no-good Darren over you. Please accept this Will-Zee autographed hoverboard as my apology.